Dad Jokes Dirty Novels & Stories

“No! It’s not super icky, not at all! I like it… it’s just…” “A little bit icky?” “No!” I fidget in my seat. “I meant it’s private, not icky.” Daddy plays. The words spin in my brain, and they make sense. That’s what this is. It’s Daddy play. I saw that on Jerry Springer once, years ago, some grown up woman in pigtails, colouring in while this guy talked to Jerry about how she was his little-y or something. It made me feel squirmy, all weird and hot, and then so guilty when Mum laughed about it and said how gross it was. Window cleaner guy, that’s who she said it to. And he hadn’t said a word, just stared in my direction.

For some reason, it was deeply funny. “Do you not know how to wash a pepper?” I asked. “I know how,” he insisted, rinsing it like it was contaminated. “I’m just… doing it thoroughly.” “You’re power-washing it.” “It deserves cleanliness,” he said, dead serious. I laughed, and the sound surprised me because it came out easy. Jace glanced over his shoulder, and for a second he looked… pleased. Like he’d accomplished something just by making me laugh. Which was ridiculous.

"Jack, take me to the blankets. Make love to me, and I'll make love to you slowly. We've got all night." Jade lay on the blanket, her legs wide. "You know, brother, I sucked your cock, and you shot a big load of cum into my mouth." I interrupted, "Jade, you make me crazy when you talk dirty." She smiled, "Cock, pussy, cum, asshole, fucking, sucking," She laughed, "Your cock twitched every time I said a new word." I stood over her, "You're gonna make me cum if you keep that up."

the two dirty minded dunderheads chuckled together making a pregnant Zeke giggle and almost pee due to it too. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * // NOTE FOR THE READERS: DILF is ‘Daddy I would Like to F*ck’. Thank me later for saving precious time and a g****e search for you guys :P

“Gag on Daddy’s cock.” Damien spanked her ass red while pounding her, his hips slapping loudly. “This little cunt is gripping me so fucking tight. You love being used, don’t you?” Jenna could only moan and drool around Marcus. She came hard within minutes, squirting down her legs onto the floor. They didn’t stop. Damien pulled out and shoved into her ass, making her scream around Marcus’s cock. They fucked her like that until both men filled her—Damien flooding her ass, Marcus painting her tongue and face with thick cum.

“Yeah, I’ll be here. Your room stinks by the way, and you had the nerve to ask Bobbie to stay in here.” Jake groaned and laughed. “Still stupid, Jacky.” “Oh, no, Jake. Jacky took over Dwayne Johnsons’ routine,” I butted in and Jake snickered. “I bet he did... he’s all body but no brains.” Jake mocked, which made Jack laugh loudly. They exchanged more indecent jokes to each other before Jack left the room. My cheeks were hurting from all the laughing from these two. I connected my phone to a Bluetooth headset while finishing my cup of hot Choco.

“Vale!" Shaking my head, I tried to control my laughter. “Her joke, not mine. She’s more crass than I am. She used to derail my dad so bad when he would slip up.” I mimicked my dads voice. “‘Why can’t see what I’m trying to do?’ ‘Because I can’t see you, nitwit.’ His whole argument would go out the window.” Jess laughed. “Christ. I don’t think I could have handled it.” “Seriously though, what are you doing up here?” I looked at her seriously.

"Man, what did you just say?" The guy scoffs and repeats. "Stupid slut!" CJ laughs. "Please tell me it's me you called that." The guy scoffs. "It's your cheap whore right there..." "That's funny bro!" CJ laughs and the Indian guy joins in and now they are both laughing. "See you around bro..."

"Ah! Nothing, Jared. Your mother and I are just talking about something. She told me a joke, and it was so funny, which is why I burst out laughing." "May I know what joke it is, Dada?" Jessie laughed. "Oh, it is not for kids, Jared. Do not worry; once you finish your sketches there, Dada will tell you some jokes. Is that alright?" Jared thought about it for a couple of seconds before he nodded his head. "Alright, Dada!" Then he goes back to his sketch pad again. Jessie covered his mouth and chuckled as he took a glance at me. I glared at him and bumped his shoulder.

She says this every time I try my best to crack a joke, no matter how dope I drop the joke she still invalidates my capability just because it’s an hour for her to understand the joke. "What? I'm serious I don't really know his name and Johnny seems fitting and close to a janitor, right?" "Ugh, but seriously though, what type of girl bones the school janitor? Is she like out of dick or something?" I can imagine Yhannie rolling her eyeballs from behind me. "She has a dick drought" I cracked trying my best not to laugh, but Yhannie followed through with the loudest laugh, and we both filled the room with nothing but laughter.