Dad Jokes Dirty Novels & Stories

We stayed joined against the wall until our breathing slowed, and then he eased out, and the warm slide of his come leaking down my leg made my stomach tighten with filthy satisfaction. That same night, after my mother had returned and gone to bed, he came to my room again in the dark. The visit was quieter and more desperate, the risk of her waking only a few doors away making every thrust sharper. He pushed into me from behind while I stayed on my side and the slow deep strokes built until I came with my face pressed into the pillow to muffle the sounds. He filled me again and then stayed inside me until his cock softened, and only then did he ease out and leave me with the evidence of him

Jaida covered her mouth, her chuckles brimming with ridicule. “It's utterly laughable. Truly, this is the biggest joke I've heard in years. The less a person knows, the bolder the lies they spin," Jett sneered.

Such jokes are no longer funny because they offend the dignity of a pretty cool buddy who doesn't deserve to be ridiculed. So Damian quickly learned to accept being different, but that didn't mean that he wanted to experiment. He was totally, one hundred percent straight, happily engaged to a beautiful girl and they were on the verge of setting a wedding date, and then suddenly a joke about paying with the body appeared in his head, a joke directed at a man. He even said the joke out loud! To make matters worse, this joke was not provoked by any erotically provocative scene... Damian, already with his hand on the doorknob, stopped and bit his lower lip.

I groaned and punched my pillow with my right hand, "You know I don't do well with no sleep, and I'm already sucking bad enough as it is." "You don't suck. You've never sucked a day in your life." I grinned up at him. His stone-cold face sobered and then he cracked a smile. "I see someone still has a dirty mind." "I was talking about sucking oyster shooters." His eyes narrowed. "Bullshit." "Do dads still cuss? Shouldn't you be saying something like, dag nabit or-"

Leesa had to give the guy credit. He didn’t seem to let the catcalls and groans bother him. He either had the thickest skin in the world, or he thought the derision was in some twisted way an approval of his act. His jokes were new, but were equally as dumb as the last time. She wondered if he wrote the stuff himself or got it from some website—stupidjokes.com, maybe.

"Taste yourself, baby. See how wet you are for us?" Jarrett groaned painfully. "This is torture... untie me." "No," Damian said, slamming into me. "Watch her face. See how she loves it." I looked at Jarrett, moaning. "Oh Jarrett, they're so big... stretching me so good." He closed his eyes, but Dominic yelled, "Open them!" They fucked me relentlessly. Damian's hands gripped my hips, bruising me in the best way. "Your pussy's so sweet, Linda. Made for us."

Rohan who had been introduced as Jay's older brother said, then winked at her. "If wishes were horses." Sana said. "And I don't want to be on the same team as you, you disgusting man child." Charlie snapped. "Oh baby, you know you want a piece of this." He leered. "I don't know who's more gross, Warren or you." Sana shuddered. "Hey! What did I do?" Warren protested. "Better check your pocket for used condoms." Charlie laughed, Jay and Sana joining in. It must have been some sort of inside joke, but with how leaky these people's mouths were, I was sure the rest of us will know all about it before the day ended.

“Make out. Both of you. And don’t be quiet. Tell each other what dirty little sluts you are.” Sophia smiled and pulled me close. Our wet bodies pressed together, breasts rubbing, as we kissed deeply. Our tongues slid against each other, the kiss turning sloppy and hungry. “I’m such a filthy slut,” Sophia whispered against my lips. “Letting two men use my holes while my best friend watches.” I moaned softly, grinding against her thigh. “I’m worse. I’m a professor who fucks her student and begs for more. Such a desperate cock-hungry whore.”

Is sex such an open topic that you go around sharing your damn experiences? "Don't mind him. He is just a dirty-mouthed dick-in-the-ass jerk at times." Deep says, making me snap my attention to him. "And you are a saint?!" I retort. "Definitely not. But I was kidding. When that happens, it will remain between us. Promise." He winks, gulping down his remaining coffee, and I mimic him to cool off a little. Sigh at that idiocy! Hot coffee, and cooling off? That would be a rare miracle. That's why the aura feels hotter than before. Thanks to these two dirty-mouthed jerks!

“I’m mom around here, doll. I’ve got my eye on you, and I have your mom on speed dial.” I buried my face in my hands at the horror in Aiden’s eyes as Chloe walked backward out of the room. I had to laugh. I couldn’t help it. The biggest asshole of Dirty J. can be brought to his knees by a two-year-old girl and her mom. This. Was. Priceless. “What are you laughin’ at, Els?” I stopped and glared at him. “You want me to get your mom’s number?” “You wouldn’t dare.”