Novel & Cerita Dad Jokes Dirty

“Okay, this is getting boring. Let’s play Truth or Dare. Real one. No baby version.” Priya groaned but her eyes sparkled. “I’m in. Phones away.” We cleared a space on the low table and sat in a loose circle on the floor and couches. The dares started innocent enough. Jamal had to do twenty push-ups while singing the national anthem terribly. Priya confessed her biggest crush was on a married lecturer (we all screamed). Maya had to let Jamal draw a mustache on her face with eyeliner. Laughter echoed off the empty lounge walls.

"She is not a whore; she is Rob's girl." I nearly fall off my feet as Rob speaks to Mike, "She is not my girl; she is a whore." "But she is always with you," Mike says. "Because I pay her to give me a blowjob when and wherever I want." "Don't you fuck her?" "No, she is dirty." "What do you mean, dirty?" Jackso starts laughing as the panic sets over Mike's face, "It means go fucking scrub your cock, you idiot." "Oh fuck," I joined Jackson. "This is hilarious, you two idiots."

Joe’s eyes bulged, his brows furrowing in pure rage, but his hands moved against his will, rubbing moose excrement into his own face. “You know what Gigi told me?” I said conversationally, turning to Nikolai. “She saw on TikTok that some men don’t wash their asses.” I tutted at Joe. “We can’t have that. Rub your ass in that shit, bro. Get it between the cheeks.” Joe looked like he was about to slaughter us, but he was powerless as he rolled his ass in the dung, grinding into it like he had the world’s itchiest bottom. At this point, Nikolai and I were crying with laughter, struggling to breathe as we doubled over, barely able to steal glances at each other without completely losing it again.

Jay and his friends covered their noses from the sickening smell of the house. "When last did you clean up your room? A month? Six months? A year?" Nicole questions almost inaudible while she was still holding her nose. "Shut the fuck up, it's none of your business. I can clean it whenever I want" Jasper drawls. "This place stinks!" Brad exclaims. "How do you even breathe fine in a stinky place like this?". "You're right on that one, buddy. Seriously nigga, how do you feel comfortable occupying such a messy place? I never knew you live in such a dump....sorry" Jay shut himself up before he crosses the line.

“He doesn’t know what sex is. Justin and I talked to him about it. I thought he’d forgotten about it. I am so sorry.” “I think it’s hilarious,” I laugh. “Jackson went through a phase where he talked about how babies get put inside a mommy by a daddy.” “I’m sure you had nothing to do with that.” Charlie raises an eyebrow. “That was all on Dean, actually. Even I know better than to open that can of worms.” “The last thing I need is him asking people at school this fall if they’re having sex.” Charlie laughs. “It is kind of funny.” “It kind of is. Like when Libby said penis all the time when she was three. But it’s embarrassing if it’s said to the wrong people.”

Complaints, insults, excuses, frustration. “That asshole plays dirty.” “The ref was bought.” “We shouldn’t have lost like that.” I clench my jaw as I read, close the chat without thinking too much because I don’t want to stay there, don’t want to keep going over the same thing, don’t want to think about the game or him, so I set my phone aside and take a deep breath, trying to clear my head, even if it’s just for a while. Tonight I’m only going to do one thing, drink enough to not feel anything and leave early before it all becomes unbearable, no drama, no complications, not giving him more space than he already takes.

"You ignored me, huh? Let me show you what it means to be rude!” At those words, he gave Dicky a hard kick to the leg. Dicky clenched his teeth, but didn’t make a sound. "Oh! You have balls, don't you?" Jerry snorted. He turned to pick up the trash can nearby and shoved it down Dicky's head. Dicky had always been a clean freak, and the revolting odors inside the trash can almost left him vomiting. Jerry became even more smug at that, and laughed out loud when he saw Dicky's fair face now absolutely filthy after taking off the trash can. "Call me daddy! Promise you won't beat me in any other event, and I’ll let you go!"

she suggested while the rest just stared at the screen, or rather at me, crowded together. "I would rather take the matter in my own hands,” I muttered, low enough so that the rest didn't hear. Apparently, they still did. "Pun intended," my dad joked and Alpha Chris secretly gave him a high-five behind their wives' back. C’mon, Dad ! Mast*rbation jokes ? Seriously ? No one could feel as embarrassed as I did at the moment. It rivaled the ultra embarrassing bathroom meeting we all had a few days back. Mom glared at my dad who shrugged while Alpha Chris grinned. Sigh ! Like Beta, Like Alpha.

She hissed, “we need to leave immediately!” “Alright, alright.” I patted her arm. “I’ll just get the eggplants.” I turned and beamed widely at the worried girl. “Have you seen a brinjal this big and shiny?! It’s like—.” “A cock soaked in cum,” someone said. What...? My face feel deadpanned as it swivelled up to voice. An elderly man in Einstein’s age and appearance was bellowing in laughter at his own dirty joke, his round belly shaking uncontrollably.

On his face were a mustache, a variety of shapes, and a hippo while on Jade's face was written: JADE IS A LOSER! The room was filled with laughter as they both laughed at their own and each other's faces. They were still laughing when they heard the telephone ring. The laughter immediately stopped and Jade stood up from the couch. She ran a hand through her tousled hair as she stared at the phone, wondering who could be calling. The call ended and after a few seconds, it began to ring again. She dragged her feet as she walked to the phone, praying that the caller wasn't her dad. She hesitated for a moment before picking up the phone and whispering a hello into it.