Damon Salvatore Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

What the fuck? “Are you—” I started, then stopped. “Wait. Are you laughing right now? What’s so funny? Seriously, Damon. What the fuck is funny? Am I a joke to you? Do I look like a fucking clown standing here with cum still drying between my thighs while you laugh after taking a call from a literal psychopath who wants to commit pipe-related homicide?” He stopped laughing as he smiled. “Oh, kitten,” he said, reaching out and brushing his knuckles along my cheek like I hadn’t just gone nuclear with questions. “It’s nothing, okay? You don’t need to worry. It was just my friend’s wife.”

Liam asked, his voice cutting through the revelry. Startled from his reverie, Salvatore blinked and forced a half-smile, though the light in his eyes dimmed slightly. “Nah, man. You guys go ahead. I just need to hit the restroom first.” Liam raised an eyebrow but shrugged, dismissing Salvatore's reluctance. “Your loss, buddy.”

Logan could be an asshole sometimes and over-exaggerated a lot but at the same time, he didn't condone insults, especially to his workers. "Okay? What did she say?" "She said I'm a stuck-up asshole..." "Well that's surprisingly accurate," Damon thought "And she said my moustache looks like that of a pornstar from the 80's." Damon almost choked on his coffee. He wanted to laugh so hard but his coffee had come in the way, thankfully. He tried to keep his face straight and treat this as a serious matter.

Damon said “Nope, not interested” “You can't refuse a gift” Ben said “Relax dude, it's your day today, just have fun, fuck up today then tomorrow you can resume being the icy CEO” I shook my head lifting the glass to my lips” “Fine” “Good then, the chick should be waiting up for you by now, happy birthday” “Fuckers” Damon laughed “ the best you've ever known

“You’ve watched too many k dramas. I’m not ruining my jacket for this.” My frustration snapped. The old man’s words kept ringing in my head. “At least use the jacket as an umbrella!” “For what, so I can catch a cold myself?” His tone was pure disdain. “I’m Damian Salvatore. You can’t let an important person like me fall sick.” “Damian,” I yelled. With a sigh that sounded like I’d just asked him to donate a kidney, he slipped off his jacket and shoved it into my hands. “Fine. But if I catch a cold, it’s on you.”

He had a proud Roman nose, a mess of curly hair that hung just above his eyes, high cheekbones, and soft lips that women in the bar would probably die to kiss. Seriously, this is the man I get worried about? “Montreal.” Salvatore smiles. The heavy and thick Italian accent rolls his tongue. He quickly stands up from the couch he sat on and moves forward with one arm extended, ready for a handshake. “I’m glad we wouldn't be stood up tonight. I prepared a feast.” Damon joked, clapping his palm on his shoulder. I stay back a little, letting the two indulge in their reunion even though I know they’ve just seen each other at the engagement.

She can use her charm to lure men and they’re totally fine with it. “Come on, that’s not fair. We don’t know his reasons. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. Who knows? It could be something serious.” – Damon said in a serious tone “Like being burned by the moon at an eclipse.” – Anthony joked “…or melting into ashes.” – Harper added. Damon shook his head but smiled anyway. It’s good that nowthey can already joke about it. Hours earlier, their knees were shaking on the possibility of being attacked in their most vulnerable state.

Is he gay? 'Com'on Abby are you lesbian too?!' I scrolled down DAMIAN SALVATORE's network amounted to $900million last year Jeez... I unconsciously touched my stomach.. Do..does that mean I'm carrying A BILLIONAIRE BABY?.... Fuck.... ------------------------

He immediately started pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Boss," Salvatore said, his voice strained as he tried not to laugh. "You have a—" "A what?" "There's a—" Salvatore raised his camera. "Salvatore, if you take that photo—" Too late. The shutter clicked. Salvatore didn't look sorry; instead, he burst into a genuine laugh—something Dante hadn't heard from him in years. "What," Dante asked, "is on my head?"

When Xavier finally stopped talking, Damian was staring at him like his brain was struggling to catch up. “Say something,” Xavier urged, irritation creeping into his voice. Damian blinked. “Wait. You’re not joking.” Xavier’s eyes hardened. “Do I look like I’m joking?” Damian stared at him for another second…then burst out laughing. Xavier’s glare could’ve cut glass. “Is this funny to you?” Xavier demanded. Damian wiped at his eyes, still chuckling. “I mean….yeah. It is funny.” Xavier slammed his glass down. “What part of this is funny?”