Dark Humor Dad Jokes

A boundless adventure is two steps out of your way when one woman is able to handle life on a whim, yet trying to keep it under control can become a mess when four men with personalities far removed from each other collide. Four? It would be selfish of her not to share all of her for them. But make no mistake, impulses have nothing to do with love. It is paramount that you remember that. I can explain the situation to you in a simpler way; a small defenseless animal, cared for by four large dangerous predators. Each of them puts a different world on your back, in a universe of enemies and nothing can go wrong, right? Enjoy before your perfectly manipulable world spirals out of control or they tear your soul apart, in short. You understand. Are you willing to succumb to the most delicious and noxious sensations there can be? ─────── ✿ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ NOTE: COMMENTING outside, on the cover of the book, is important for the work to be more recognized. Leaving comments inside the book, between chapters, is great. However, the reviews, already as I pointed out, will be weighty for the growth of the story. Please comment outside on the cover.

After being tricked by the Princess of her kingdom and her dear cousin, Esmeray is sacrificed to the Lore king as a sacrificial bride. The Lore king is furious to find out this betrayal and locks up Esmeray in his palace, forever. Determined to run, Esmeray finds out that the Lore king is hiding a dark secret and has soft nature, inside. She soon, unravels the secret surrounding the Lore king and her family, that bounds her eternally and curses her forever. But what will she do after finding it out, as her kingdom and the whole world is crumbling? Who'll she choose then? her kingdom, her family, the Lore king or herself?

“I don’t want to hurt you, Aurora…” he said in a low whisper, his breaths hot on me. I replied softly, the tears in my eyes threatening to fall, “then don’t hurt me.” But I knew he couldn't do that. His demons wouldn't let him. ~~~ At fourteen, Aurora Turner, the first daughter of the Alpha of the Moonstone pack, shifted prematurely on a full moon. But what should’ve been a night of celebration initiated the beginning of a new nightmare when the Alpha and Luna discover who their daughter’s mate is… and what he is. Though it takes Aurora more than four years to meet her destined mate, she quickly realizes that he’s nothing she’s ever dreamed of. The Dark Alpha is a million miles away from sweet, lovable, and merciful. But when trial comes and a once defeated enemy rises again, Aurora and Adrian’s untidy love might be the only thing standing in the way of mass destruction. What unravels as the enemies join forces but the packs remain divided? Can Aurora free the Alpha from the chains of his demons and look past his unsettling history? What decision will Alpha Adrian make when he’ll have to choose between his most prized mate and his most treasured pack? ~~~ THE ALPHA TRIPLETS SERIES BOOK ONE: TRIPLETS FOR THE ALPHA TRIPLETS BOOK TWO: THE DARK ALPHA'S UNWANTED LUNA* ~ Can be read as a standalone ~

"I'm so sorry, Dian. But this is wrong. You're too young. Too weak for someone in my position. The pack needs a strong Luna someday. Dian Drake was rejected by her mate and exiled from Shadowcrest Pack, but what awakened after was a power unknown to her. She reads every emotion and feelings, A mind reader. Can control multitude with her powers. It's a rare gift that should have stayed hidden, because now Draven wants her. The deadly rogue leader who hunts gifted wolves, building an army of the powerful and enslaved, and Dian's abilities make her his perfect weapon. Sheltered by Frostgale Pack, Dian trains under healer Thea while uncovering a deadly conspiracy. Luna Seraphine was murdered for discovering a hidden truth. Dian must master to use her powers to save Shadowcrest. The mate bond might tie her to Kael, she finds love in Frostgale during exile .Will she go back to the traitor or bond with Rowan?

My 60-year-old father hasn't been able to sire any other children than me due to an injury that affects his manhood. However, my mom has just gotten pregnant with triplets. When I take him to the hospital for a follow-up checkup, a man suddenly shows up and drags Dad off to undergo a vasectomy. Upon returning to the scene after registering Dad's details at the nurse's station, I'm stunned by what I see. Still, I rush over to stop the man. Instead, a nurse stops me and tells me, "Ms. Ashford's husband is apprehending the man she's cheating with right now! Don't go rushing into their mess!" I'm both shocked and confused at the same time. Ms. Ashford, a.k.a Selena Ashford, is my mother! Then her husband should be my dad! "You old bastard! You already have one foot in the grave, and yet you still have the balls to seduce a married woman! How dare you attempt to fight over my family's assets with my son! I'll have you know that this hospital belongs to my daughter-in-law, Emily Carter! Let's see if you can survive long enough to spend any of my family fortune!" Dad refuses to enter the surgery room. Instead, he manages to wrestle the man away from him and try to escape. Upon noticing Dad's escape attempt, the man yells for other people to hold him down. Then, he punches Dad in the groin a few times. "Selena and I have been married for 40 years, and we only have Elias as our only son! Emily is the daughter-in-law whom we've personally selected for him as well! Since when did she become your daughter-in-law?" Dad screams hysterically. "That's right! Emily is my wife! You're no father of mine!" I quickly exclaim. The man eyes me up and down in disdain. "Nowadays, even homewreckers have their buddies to do their dirty work with them! My son, the heir of Ashford Group, is Dylan Ashford! How dare you impersonate him!" Before I can say anything, the man dials a number and starts yelling into his phone. "Emily Carter, are you and your mother-in-law both cheating on my son and me together? I'm giving you a chance right now! You'd better come over and deal with this side piece of yours before Dylan finds out about your affair!" I feel as though my world has come crashing down. Are my mom and my wife seriously cheating on my dad and me at the same time?

R18+ “Fuck off, Azrael!” I snapped despite the crippling fear coiling tightly in my gut. “So you're a mouthy brat with me but a wet mouse with the others?” Those cold, green eyes narrowed. “I'm the one you should be afraid of, Saphielle, me. You do not know what I'm capable of.” ~ ~ ~ Everyone dreams of getting into ‘Velmorne Academy’ but it was an exclusive college to only the Elites. Only those at the top, you know, the 1% kind of rich? Yeah, exactly. So when I got accepted, I thought it was a miracle—It was a trap. Suddenly, the bullying started, and everyone hated me. And worst of all? Azrael, the Alpha prince, has made me his special prey. He says I belong to him and he’d do whatever it takes to make me his. It's hilarious and crazy cause he has a fiancè and I’m just a nobody. It makes no sense. He’s an arrogant asshole. And I fucking hate him. He's the bane of my existence and yet, I keep provoking him. Now I get dreams that I do not understand…they are strange, violent, terrifying—it messes with my sanity and distorts reality. And I’m convinced it has something to do with this school. And Azrael? He’s at the center of it. ~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~••~•~•~•~• WARNING: This book contains dark themes and content that some might find disturbing or distressing. Contents like: Bullying, Murder, Violence, Obsession, Explicit steamy scenes, Manipulation, etc…

Ridiculed and humiliated by her pack. Her mate rejected her for being weak and made fun of her. To compound her woes, her Father was gruesomely murdered in a fierce battle with a rival pack. And her pack? Forcefully taken away. . To save her life and her mother's life, She agreed to become one of the concubines of her father's murderer; the ruthless Alpha of all time. What happens when both sons of her father's murderer want to covet her beauty? Find out in this intriguing story. .

Born into a world full of evil, Nina's family were brutally murdered. She loses her memory from the tragic incident and sold out by her adopted father as a breeder. However, fate has its way of playing its games. On the day of the mating ceremony, she is mated to a ruthless alpha cursed with darkness. She is torment by him and chosen as a vessel to absorb his curse. But when two enemies are mated, desire and love begin to stir up their hearts.  Aside from being mates, they are destined to kill each other or perish by the hands of their enemies. Which would they choose? Play by the hands of fate or by the hands of their foes?

🔞 MATURE CONTENT 🔞 “He was my professor. Strict. Off-limits. Impossible. Until he found the notebook I was never meant to leave behind...” When Lena Hart steps into her advanced literature class at Black Moore University, all she wants is a fresh start. Instead, she finds herself toe-to-toe with Adrian Knight—stern, cold, devastatingly attractive. Their war of words sparks a dangerous attraction neither of them can control. What begins with a forgotten notebook filled with Lena’s darkest fantasies turns into secret kisses, stolen nights, and an affair that threatens to ruin them both. But Adrian is hiding more than his feelings—he has a past that could destroy everything. And when the truth unravels, so does their world. This is not just a student-professor fling. This is obsession, sacrifice, and the kind of love that could cost everything.

People hope not to date an abusive partner but wouldn't it be worse when you are already married? She was used, abused and stepped on. All hope was lost and she vowed to only live for the sake of her children, no more hiding in the shadows of others ...Work hard and repay. Meet Eleana Osas, a single mom of two who vowed to get her revenge on her ex husband and shun all men. What will happen when she cross path with the soon to be biggest boss, Shawn Dele, who is handsomely mysterious. Will he be able to untie the knot in her heart or would he make her hate men more? Curious? Then follow up and don't forget to add it to your library. Anticipate!!!!!......... Excerpt: "So you vow to never love, never be with another man? Is this the kind of control he has over you?", Shawn asked feeling waves of emotions; anger, disappointment..... "It's the kind of control I have over my self, I will never, ever submit myself to any man again, never", Eleana replied, gritting her teeth in anger, not directed at Shawn but herself - she only spoke those words because she need him to let her go, else she fall more than she already has..... Seeing as Shawn didn't reply, Eleana walked past him but Shawn was having none of that, he turned around and grab her arms, pulling her closer to him making sure she could feel his breathe on her neck as he whispered mischievously. "Are you so certain you will be the one submitting and not me? Hmmm?". His words rang warning bells in Eleana's head as her legs went wobbly under his teasing and nearness.... Oh god! She swore, when she felt his lips on her earlobe.