Dark Humor Dad Jokes

When her mate rejects her, Penelope makes the hardest choice of her life—leaving the pack that once claimed her. Lucian, a twenty-six-year-old Alpha, cannot accept an omega as his mate, and his cold decision shatters the bond between them. Determined to survive and discover her true power, Penelope faces danger, betrayal, and her own doubts—but she will prove her worth on her own terms. Join Penelope and Lucian on a journey of love, chaos, and self-discovery, where hearts break, secrets burn, and destiny refuses to be ignored.

Book 1 - You'd better watch out. The danger is not just lurking in the dark. accompanies each of our steps. Instinct drives them.In a world full of monsters, there are those who are willing to risk their lives to save humanity from ruin. The hunters.After the trauma of her childhood, the ambitious young Grace decides that she will be one of those who hunt down the monsters and does everything she can to achieve this goal. She only wants one thing, to take revenge on the beings that her parents once snatched from her. But when Grace is forced to meet the grouchy Reese and his troubled brother Nick, she has to admit that the monsters of this world not only lurk in the dark shadows of the night. She is drawn into a vortex of intrigue, power struggles and greed for money and soon finds herself confronted with a creature that is more dangerous than anything known before.-------Book 2 - You'd better watch out. The danger is not just lurking in the dark. accompanies each of our steps. Instinct drives them.In a world full of monsters there are those who are willing to risk their lives to save humanity from perdition. The hunters.Finally, the years of hard work are paying off, Grace is officially a Venator and with Reese at her side she believes she can cope with anything that fate throws at her. But an unbelievable message from Jilin pulls the shadows from the past and stirs her thirst for revenge. Grace takes on this challenge and gets a stone rolling that cannot be stopped and slowly not only she begins to doubt her sanity.

When the college admission notice arrived, I suddenly developed a high fever and was bedridden. My sister encountered a kidnapping on her way to help me collect the notice, and her life was uncertain. My parents hated me deeply. After tearing up my admission notice, they forced me to give up my studies and work in a factory. Later, I experienced a kidnapping as well. After narrowly escaping, I hid in an abandoned factory and sent them a message for help. My dad called me and shouted at me without restraint, “Lena, are you even human? How could you play such a joke on us on Jessica's memorial day!” “Do you have any idea how much your mom and I wished it had been you who died back then?” In my last moments before death, their insults echoed in my ears. I was tortured and killed, turned into a monster, and my body was thrown into a stinking ditch for three full days. Even my father, the most experienced forensic expert, couldn’t recognize me. When my sister returned home with the guy she eloped with years ago, my dad had just restored my appearance through technology. They knelt before my decaying corpse and cried until they fainted.

As an ordinary human being on the earth, Tang Long was brought to the Cultivation World by a lost immortal, and relying on his amazing talent, he made it to one of the five emperors in that world. However, struck by Thunder of Nine Heavens, he lost his life. It was lucky for him to rebirth in the human world as an intern who was named Qin Haodong. With his excellent medical skills, he became a divine doctor of traditional Chinese medicine and a father of a baby girl, whose mother was as pretty as a fairy. The little girl even asked him to find more lovers. What a cute girl...

The Mother That Fed the Dark is a study of inherited guilt, ritual, and the long reach of a mother's choices. Amahle, a woman who practices the old rituals in secret, believes that her younger son , Sipho, was born as a spiritual "door" to be sacrificed for the sake of power and protection. During the ritual she performed , she got interrupted by the older son, Thando, who died instead. While the community believes Thando's death was accidental, Amahle knows better: it was the wrong son who died, and the ritual was left unfinished. Drenched in fear and resentment , Amahle raises Sipho as if he is the love of her life, while at the same time working to destroy him. Behind closed doors, she feeds the supernatural force from the failed ritual, which weakens Sipho, making him fearful and dependent. As Sipho grows, so do the misfortunes that follow him, and an unseen entity begins to present itself-first in dreams and whispers, then in the physical world . What we see is that the ritual did not bind to the house but to Sipho's bloodline. When Sipho leaves home, the haunting grows stronger. After Amahle's death, Sipho finds her secret notebooks , which reveal to him the shocking truth: that his brother's death was a mistake and, in fact, Sipho was never meant to die but to be the vehicle for the ritual, which he indeed is. Setting the family home on fire brings only temporary relief , but the curse does not break. In the final revelation, Sipho realizes that he is not the offering but the keeper, the living portal through which harmony, hardship, and magical power flow. Unlike his mother, he comes to the realization that he has a choice.

"I've been looking for you."My heart does a somersault in my chest as he pulls me close, and there's no time to protest before his lips crash onto mine.His kiss is intoxicating, and a spark ignites despite my shock.***I’m Ava, a senior in college and I never thought I’d fall for my best friend's dad. But it's so complicated. When my dad went to prison for murder, Emma’s dad was the only person that could help me. However, our immediate attraction soon became irresistible. Exploring our secret desires threatens my friendship with his daughter, but I still want him and also need him to help my father. As my feelings for him grow stronger, I know it’s impossible for us to have a real future. Will he ever see me as anything more than a sugar baby? Dominated by the Dark Billionaire Daddy is created by Amelie Bergen, an eGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.

I was eighteen when I left Italy for Chicago. My brother Leo handed me over to his most powerful ally for “protection.” Don Damien Volkov. His eyes locked on me the first time we met. They never looked away. By day, I was his private doctor. By night, I was the only thing in his bed. His seduction was a slow, deliberate hunt. The way his body brushed against mine during an exam. A stray kiss that landed behind my ear. The weight of his hand resting on the small of my back. I fell fast and hard for his dark charm. I gave myself to him, letting him claim me, again and again. For four years, our affair was a secret hidden in the shadows. In that time, he sculpted my body, teaching it to crave his touch, molding me into his perfect obsession. Then she came back. Isabella, his exiled ex-fiancée. He sent his private jet for her. I swallowed my pride and crashed his reunion. An hour ago, his hands, still smelling of blood, gripped my chin. He forced his kiss on me. But now, right in front of me, he was stroking another woman's hair. "Elara, you're the one who climbed into my bed four years ago." "You act like a whore, but you expect me to treat you like a Donna?" The way he looked at Isabella was so tender. The way he looked at me was pure scorn. Shame burned through me. Head down, I sent my brother a coded text. Accept the Moretti proposal. I looked up. A smile bloomed on my face. "Fine. Then this is goodbye, Damien."

When Avery Quinn gets fed up with her loveless marriage and the humiliation she was constantly fed with, she leaves with the divorce papers, vowing to herself not to get mixed up with any arrogant billionaire again. But she might have spoken too soon, because she finds herself drawn to another emotionally distant, and cold billionaire - and his 7 year old daughter.

Erin realised herself amongst a family she never dreamt to be part of. Despite being a powerful and wealthy household, she still didn't feel happy to be there. She made the decision to stay, for someone's sake. Her son. All she wanted to do was become that dominant woman and raise her son single-handedly. But then someone she'd tag as evil, showed up and ruined everything. Being married to Jayden Reynolds brought along adversaries in different sets. She was part of an aristocratic family now and her beloved son, being the successor to the family's acreages, was relatively susceptible. Amidst all these, fused with a loveless marriage. Will Erin Charlton blindly stay as Jayden's woman?

“Be a good girl and hold your legs open, little slut. You’re gonna take daddy’s cock, every inch, while your bastard ex-boyfriend watches.” ****** We’ve all undoubtedly long to experience being claimed, owned, devoured and ruined by multiple men at once. To have them call all the shots, use and throw you around like a weightless doll… it’s not just wild, it’s… taboo. Here’s an opportunity to live voraciously through the scotching pages, and experience a thrill of pleasure unlike never before. Here, raw heat is unashamedly served with a side of forbidden, and toppings of so many illicit desires. Before diving in, put aside your hesitations, your morals and your conscience— yes, that. And strut in with nothing but a hunger that would be thoroughly sated from the very first page. From shy virgins losing their first time to a group of hot daddies, to a little brat being ruined by her father’s bestfriend group, to an innocent nerd being devoured by her group of childhood bullies, and so much more. Here, the men here are unapologetic dark, dirty and dangerous. They don’t ask for permission, they take, they claim and they devour. [An Erotica Collection.]