Dark Humor Group Chat Names Novels & Stories

"Really? You couldn't have done that earlier today when I wasn't here?" "No regrets," he retorts, blowing me an air kiss before exiting the room, a move that makes me roll my eyes. While he's away, I pull out my phone to check my notifications. It turns out I have quite a few. I decide to respond to my group chat with the gang, a name we coined seven years ago: Gang Before Bangs, a playful spin on "bros before hoes" and "chicks before dicks." Sky: Just confirming, did we all land safely?

I clicked on the message first after resisting the urge to scoff at the name of the group. Everyone in the group has a chance of naming the group chat for a full month, after the particular person turn gets exhausted, then the next person in the queue gets to name the group again for the whole month. It was Auden's turn to name the group this particular month and the stupid motherfucker choose a cheesy as hell name. The name wasn't cool at all and I've never gone a day in this month without pointing it out in the whole group.

“Maybe if you guys aren’t too busy this weekend you guys could come by my place and meet them?” They both say “Yes!” at the same time and I laugh. I see Maddy typing something into my phone before she hands it back. I see that she’s added her number and texted herself. I smile and then make a group text chat. I see Maddy typing something and then get a notification saying: “Maddy has changed the group name to: Bitches <3.” I let out a laugh before turning around to walk away. I shout, “See you tomorrow bitches!” over my shoulder. I find myself grinning the whole way home.

I noticed him texting someone, so I asked: “Who are you texting?” “Raf,” he answered and laughed. Looks like it was a really funny joke. I heard my phone beeping, so I took it and while eating, I started reading my new texts. In group SHUT UP BITCHES Yeah, we called our group SHUT UP BITCHES. It’s funny, you know. Mia: Are you at school already? Jeremy: I am, but you aren’t. I am waiting for you, idiots.

He could hold on no longer. After the divorce, Wendy let herself go and spent her days drinking. She couldn't care less about the company. Sampson Group was nothing but disorganized under her. After numerous mishaps involving their products, it was now teetering on the brink of bankruptcy.

Lisa added and immediately she received a phone call. We waited for her to end her phone call and then she said to us, “I am sorry guys I need to go like right now, hope you don’t want?” “Don’t worry, we will inform you if anything new comes up.” Daisy assured her and she thanked us before leaving. “I love the w******p group idea, why don’t we create it now and add us all.” I concluded and instantly Kyle created the group and we were all added with the name The Amazing Four which wasn’t really bad at all.

Allegra: Can we please rename the chat to something that doesn’t make me want to throw my phone into a river? Delilah: Fine, how about "Ladies of Grace and Dignity"? Lilianna: Look, I just think we need a name that reflects who we really are. Something timeless. Elegant. Delilah: "Throat Queens"? Allegra: I’m officially throwing my phone in the river. Lilianna: This group chat is an abomination. I pressed a hand over my mouth, trying to stifle the laugh that threatened to turn into an outright cackle.

"Celebration dinner?" I nodded, heart thumping. He caught the look in my eye immediately. "You want to tell them." "Yeah." I exhaled, feeling the rightness of it. "I think it's time." He grinned, dimples flashing. "I think they’ll be over the moon." A quiet joy filled the space between us, thick and golden. I pulled out my phone and opened our group chat—the one we’d jokingly named The Blackwood Brunch Bunch after one too many chaotic Sunday brunches.

That's an understatement. The room filled with laughter, warm and easy, as they shared stories and jokes, enjoying each other's company. Kris suddenly sat up, "Wait, what's the weirdest dream anyone's had recently?" Claudine's eyes sparkled, "Oh, I had this crazy dream about cats taking over the world." Ezrianna chuckled, "That's nothing. I dreamt I was flying, but my wings were made of cotton candy." Denzel shook his head, laughing, "You two are something else." As they continued sharing their bizarre dreams, the evening wore on, filled with warmth, laughter, and the simple joy of being together.

As soon as I entered the kitchen, all of them burst out of laughter. “What the –HAHAHAHA. Why are you fricking glowing HAHAHAHA.” Niara was the loudest to laugh. “I told you guys, he’s a glowing-man!” Arius spoke. I looked at them irritated. “You should be called Nolight instead of Nolan HAHAHA.” Amansinaya also laughed. That’s not even funny, damn! Orlene also chuckled. I ignored them and walked towards the table they’re at. “Whoa, the light!” Amansinaya teased then she covered her eyes. After that, they all laughed.