Dark Humor Jokes No Limits Orphans Novels & Stories

When my joke lands she tilts her head back to laugh, shaking her head as she looks at me. "You're ridiculous." She says. "You're smiling." I respond. She gives me that warm look again and I wonder what's going through her mind at this moment. "You got any other ones?" She asks and I wrack my brain for any other dad jokes. "Um... The circus lion ate the clown but didn't finish." I say. "Why?" She asks. "Because he tasted funny." I respond and Harper chuckles again. "More." She teases, but I just shrug.

"Pregnancy has become disadvantage to you, Kitcat...I bet he'll tell you the grass is too green for you to step outside tomorrow." "Shut up, Liam. I'm not trying to make jokes." "And see...your pregnancy has become a disadvantage to me too...look at him snapping at me because of a fetus." "I'd advise you to shut your mouth, Liam...his face is getting red, it's about to swell...he's transforming into..." "Angry bird!" Liam and Fredd bursted out into hysterical laughing at their apparently funny joke...but Zillon didn't seem to find it funny, he was as serious as judge. "F*cking idiots..."

He grins. “One moment they are ‘fuck you youngest child’ and in the next they want us to produce the next population of the country. It’s like ‘make up your mind will ya? Are we important or not?’”, He continues joking, eyes lighting up when he hears me chuckle a second time. “Yeah, literally”, I agree, having to lower my eyes. I feel far too ashamed. I not only chuckled at one of his jokes, but at two of them. And I did so because I actually found them funny.

The silence stretched out, thick and uncomfortable, until Frank tried to break it with that awkward little half-smile he got when he was desperate not to let things fall apart. "Well," he said, his tone light but forced, "at least we know why my uncle was such a jerk to me growing up. Guess he was just getting in practice for the whole ’blackmail a murderer’ phase." The joke landed like a damp towel, flat, a bit pathetic, yet somehow just what we needed. A small, broken laugh slipped out before I could stop it, followed by Rowan huffing out something that might have been a chuckle if it didn’t sound so painful.

“But, I mean, if you’re that desperate, bro, I don’t mind jerking you off. Charity work. For old times’ sake.” I stared at him. Deadpan. For a full three seconds. Then I said, voice flat as asphalt, “Even as a joke, that wasn’t funny.” He threw his head back and howled while Ellis choked on his beer, coughing and laughing at the same time, tears actually forming at the corners of his eyes. It wasn’t fun being the fucked-up sideshow. I took one last drag then crushed the joint out in the ashtray so hard the glass cracked.

The room went dead quiet when I said I would take the prize, but that quiet did not last. A second later, laughter thundered through the air. Lily Smith was the loudest, doubling over with tears streaming from her eyes. "How else could she be the top seller?" she cackled. "A woman like her has to have skin as thick as a rhino." I ignored her snide comments and kept my cool. "Just to be clear," I said, "since the company so generously 'rewarded' me with bathroom duty, that's all I'll be doing for the next three days. Everything else is off my plate."

A childhood visual of the old witch from the library Hansel and Gretel book pops into my head and only increases the giggles I exude. “I hope not, I’m barely grown, and she might add me to tonight’s menu. I’m too big for an oven!” I point out between snorts of stupid laughter and Meadow caves and starts giggling too, lightening our whole mood. I guess the tension and the heavy weight of this journey has us strung out enough, that even a lame joke like this has enough power to break the strings and have us erupt. It’s needed, between us, this bonding over awful jokes.

He said it in a childish tone. "Oh really, but I though your name was Caleb." Jazz replied playing along. "Oh no, I am not Caleb. He disturbs people who want to be left alone but ME, I am Mr. Laughter people enjoy my company." "Oh really?" "Yes." He said it continuing the same innocent tone in his voice. "Shall I tell you a joke?" "Please go on." "Once there was an old man who died at a very young age hahaha..." He ended his short joke with his own laughter

“Besides I don’t want him to die. He promised me breakfast and I’m starving.” Beta Lucas couldn’t seem to gain control of his laughter, after a few minutes I was sick of it. Grabbing the bed spread I pulled hard. Dragging him off the bed he hit the floor with a solid crash. “What the hell is so funny?” I stood in front of him. Arms crossed. “You think you’re some kind of crazy person.” He said wiping the tears from his eyes and trying to regain his composure. “That’s what everyone at the orphanage said.” I told him. My voice giving away my sadness.

he added. I snorted. This had to be the funniest joke of the century. A multitude of emotions swirled in my belly. I didn’t know the right reaction to give in this situation. Should I shout? Cry? Or even slap him for the disrespect? The annoying part was Jeremy’s nonchalance. He didn’t seem to realize how dumb his suggestion was. “Are you listening to me?” His voice drifted into my ears and broke my train of thought. When I stared at him, uncontrollable laughter erupted from my lungs, and I cackled without restraint. He was damn joking. He had to be. Open marriage? What the hell was that?