Dark Humor Jokes No Limits Orphans Novels & Stories

She was always off limits. Until one forbidden summer, shy Elena surrendered to her brother’s best friend, the emotionally guarded Damien, in nights so hot they burned every rule to ash. Then he shattered her. Called their unborn child a bastard and walked away. Five years later, Damien comes face-to-face with the little boy who looks just like him… and the woman he never stopped craving. Now the man who runs from feelings must fight for the family he threw away. But Elena isn’t the timid girl he left behind and this time, she won’t make it easy.

My best friend, Yvonne Greene, has a very masculine boyfriend named Clyde Carroll. So much so that I can see his huge bulge through his trousers. One night, when I am trying to relieve myself while fantasizing about him, Yvonne suddenly comes over with tears running down her cheeks. "Michelle, please help my fiancé out. He seems to have undergone another growth spurt down there. I can't withstand his tormenting anymore." Upon hearing that, I instantly get wet. Clyde is already huge to begin with. What kind of inhuman size has he grown into after getting even bigger? I purposely dress myself in a very low-cut top and a micro skirt with crotchless tights before showing up at Clyde's place. "I heard you're very robust. Let me take a look and see how big you are."

She was supposed to heal him, not crave him. Olivia Carter, a divorced physical therapist, thought her new job with the Chicago Blizzard hockey team would be simple—treat injuries, keep her head down, and cheer for her son on the ice. But when the team’s arrogant and devastatingly handsome captain, Xander Hayes, lands in her care, everything spirals out of control. He’s engaged. He’s her son’s best friend. And he’s forbidden. What begins as teasing flirtation turns into stolen touches, midnight encounters, and a dangerous obsession neither of them can resist. But secrets never stay buried—especially in the world of fame, fortune, and ruthless tabloids. When their affair explodes into the public eye, Olivia risks not only her career and reputation, but the one bond she can’t afford to lose: her son’s trust. Will Xander choose his fiancée, his career, and his best friend… or the woman he should never want?

Blurb I was his secret weapon. The girl who broke down his plays. The girl who made him win Game 7. Then he lifted the Cup… and kissed the owner’s daughter. So I did what any unhinged woman would do. I bought a lighter. My target? The VIP suit. The problem? I torched the wrong door. It belonged to *Captain Rhys Virek*. “Black Ice.” “League nightmare.” “Don’t breathe near him.” He caught me. Soot on my face and lighter in my hand. The Cops were 2 minutes out. He didn’t call them. He slid a contract across the burnt table instead. *“You’re my girlfriend now. Three months. Fake. Public. Or you burn for real.”* I have a deportation date. He has a PR crisis. Fake dating fixes us both. Except his wolf likes the girl who fights back. And I’m starting to like the monster who chose me… after I tried to ruin him. But it was all a fallacy to begin and I began to drown in a nightmare that death becomes the only option left.

"I’ld love to see the expression on your face when I successfully trap you, taunt you and make you beg till you break." I whispered pinning Matteo to the wall. “And I’d love to see you try,” he shot back, struggling against me. I didn’t let him. He thought being older meant he had the upper hand. He was wrong. ~ ~ ~ ~ Matteo Hudson was Rowan’s first mistake, the coach who crossed a line he should never have touched, then walked away like it meant nothing. Now he’s colder, stricter, and determined to pretend it never happened… but Rowan remembers everything. Every look, every moment, every time Matteo lost control. And he refuses to be the only one carrying it. What starts as tension on the court quickly turns into something messier and impossible to ignore. Matteo keeps his distance, but Rowan pushes harder, forcing the past back to the surface. Because whatever they had didn’t end—it just got buried. And the deeper Matteo tries to hide it, the more Rowan makes sure it resurfaces.

Nathaniel Hemlock was once one of the most feared pirates to ever sail the seas. His endless quest for gold and power claimed many lives but never concerned him since his heart had long hardened. That is until one day that desire took a dark turn. For power and gold he traded not only his own soul but that of his crew. Now he is cursed to sail the seas until the end of time, unless 1000 more souls are given, one a year...all must be children which was one of the only things he would never do. Present day. Lloyd has always scoffed at the legends that bring visitors to his town near the sea, and with the arrival of a movie crew it's gotten worse. Returning home one evening he sees a strange, old fashioned boat docked and curiously decides to board it. A decision he soon regrets. Once onboard he cannot leave. Nathaniel is not best pleased but there is little he can do and decides to use Lloyd as a cabin boy to make himself useful while he continues to search for another way of breaking his curse and freeing his crew. Their lives will soon become more entwined and perhaps Lloyd is the one who can warm the frozen heart.

I still didn't understand what he said. I couldn't think of anything I had done to hurt him. Maybe I was really clueless about what was going on in his life. I wiped the tears off my face with my sleeve. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled." He said looking away. I sniffed. " So....was ...was..what we had...was our marriage...fake? " He sighed and remained silent. At that moment, I realized that the man I had loved and spent 10 years of my life with not only betrayed me by taking another wife but tried to take everything from me. He came into my life for revenge; he married me for revenge, and he loved me for revenge. Revenge for something I knew nothing about. On top of all that, we even had children. My Father was on his side, and he made me choose ...Divorce my husband and lose the right to being his only heir and lose custody over my children or get used to the fact that my husband married another woman and lived the rest of my life in luxury and misery. I can only hope that someone or something saves me from this hell hole.

Two hearts who meet almost a thousand years back are forced apart by the cruel hands of death who take away one of them. The other vows to bring his beloved back, which he did, but had to pay a price. One thousand years later, Ariel is found regaining consciousness after the supposed coma she had been in. She finds herself in an unknown room with no recollection of her memories, and is forced to live with the cold hearted Damien. What will happen when she realizes who she is?

Dark Romance; A spoiled girl’s game leads her into the arms of an attractive, no-nonsense man. Logline: After playing a reckless game, a spoiled and gullible girl did not expect to find herself in a serious relationship with an intriguing and no-nonsense guy who starts to discipline her. Excerpt: She listened as he stepped forward with his belt, moving closer to her and crowding her with the musky scent he was wearing. She fought to hold back her fear as finally, he came to stand behind her. She felt his fingers gently combing her hair down over her shoulders. Then he started speaking slowly, his deep voice starting to shake her demeanor as he talked to her."You didn't marry a soft knight in shining armor that will cuddle, ignore and pet you every time you choose to deliberately get out of line. I will punish you thoroughly for your disobedience..." WARNING! This is Dark Romance. Do not read if you find the theme offensive.

A fateful meeting between a gangster boss and a girl who was lured and kidnapped by others, both had adventures and since then began to develop feelings for each other.