Dark Humor Jokes Tagalog

They say darkness lives in us all... It's a lie, though. Because the darkness lives within me. Elara Temptation to sweet, lips too thick. When a handsome man invited me to a Halloween party,  I wasn't expecting to be drugged, abducted and offered as a human sacrifice for his dark cult, but I should've. Life had been miserable, and I'd never fitted in. So when death came for me, I welcomed it. Arms. Wide. Open. But Asher had other ideas. He stole me to kill me, but now? He keeps me just to play. His kisses left scars. His touches, fingerprints on my bones. But when he wakes the darkness in me, I realised he may just not like the monstrous little witch he created - Cross my heart. Asher. I had a job. Bring a woman to the circle just like my brothers had - kill the women presented, gain more power. It should've been easy. But then I saw her. My shadowed Vixen. Something whispered to me in the dark, a pulse in the air surrounding us. She felt different. She felt eerie and aloof, a mystery that lured me in. We had to know. I had to know. So I gave her a chance. Join us, or die. She laughed and told me she wasn't afraid of dying. So I made it my mission to drag her into my darkness, to toy with her until only a monster remained. And a monster was just what I got. Now, I'd do anything to get my girl back, even if it meant letting the darkness consume me, just so she could be bathed within the light - and hope to die.

Luke Cabrera is a struggling 22 year old male left with nothing but a note full of debts. Desperado na siya at sa hindi inaasahang pagpihit ng kaniyang mundo, natagpuan niya ang sarili na nag-iisa. Ang kagimbal-gimbal pa ay naubusan siya ng pagpipilian kung kaya't ganoon na lang ang pamumursigi niyang magtrabaho sa ilalim ng taong siya ring dahilan ng paghihirap niya ngayon. Sa bawat kilos niyang inuulan ng kamalasan, darating pa kaya ang inaasam-asam na suwerte?

What’s worse than hiding and using fake identity? Living in unfamiliar place filled with unfamiliar people who’s trying to get know more you. That’s what happen to Sophia Delos Ama who’s hiding in her fake identity as Faye Mckenzie. A half American, half Filipina who come home to live independently in a place where most of the citizens are old. Everyone is surprise by her sudden existence there which not part of her plan. Faye bought a house, a very old house far away from everyone. But the more she hide herself, the people get curious. She tried her very best not to get caught. Faye continuously separates herself from everyone until she met Conrad. A handsome doctor of Kennedy Town Provincial Hospital. He is tall, he’s charming, he’s everyone’s favorite in that town. A perfect man, in Sophia’s humble mind not on Faye’s. The only problem is Faye doesn’t want to be associated to anyone. Not again when all she wants is peace and harmonious life away from the ghost of her past. A wise man once said, you can only achieve peace when you let everyone in. Kennedy Town brings fatal bliss that she doesn’t want to be tainted. How will Faye do that when she don’t know how to trust again?

When Daphne discovers she's the reincarnation of a powerful witch, she must master her powers and confront her destiny. But with multiple mates vying for her attention and a war brewing, can she stay focused on her mission to reclaim her rightful throne?

While some endings are painful, there are some endings that's worth it. -Jufiel Kenn Tinio Sa gitna ng pagiging hindi normal ay nakayanan kong manatili sa tabi niya. Ngunit hanggang kailan ko kayang manatili kung nasa punto na kami ng walang kasiguraduhan? Would it be a happy ending for us?

Since young, Dione Amaris has always been fascinated by supernatural creatures; vampires, fairies, werewolves and many more. Her mother always read her stories about them. Until she turn to a fully grown woman, she has collected a lot of books about them and would still read them time to time and she ends reading a book, she can’t help but think if they really do exist. And what if… they really do exist? And one of its kind has been by her side all along? Will it be a start to a something new to her life? Or… it’ll start a havoc in her life?

What do twelve years of captivity make of one? What lines behind the new Laurel Brown?Laurel Brown was only eight when she was snatched.Twelve years passed and the Browns had long moved on when Laurel Brown returns with the truth as well as secrets.

When Danica was still in college, she wanted to be a famous actress. She sacrificed a lot, including her studies when she finally had the chance to reach her dream. Among all the sacrifices, her biggest sacrifice was her love. When she was at the peak of success and popularity, unexpectedly, her name was involved in an issue that really gave roar in the entertainment industry that she did not expect to damage her popularity. Only sponsorship can save her name, but what will happen when the CEO of the company who can save her is her Ex boyfriend, whom she sacrificed along the way? Things are going to go rough because HE is up for a revenge. _ “You want my sponsorship to save your fame. How funny! How willing you are for this?” He asked with a smirk. "Very." "Prove it to me." "How?" "By signing a contract to be my mistress." The hatred in his tone gives a shiver down to her spine. She wants to back out but could she let her years of hard work get destroyed just like that? At the same time, what is he going to do about the strange addiction for the woman whom he hates from the core of his heart?

ESCALANTE SERIES 1: RAMONA ESCALANTE Ginawa ni Ramona ang lahat para makuha ang atensyon ni Nero pero sa daming beses niyang pagtatangka kahit isang beses hindi siya nagtagumpay. Pero bakit tuwing nababaling ang atensyon niya sa iba ay tila nagagalit ito? Hanggang saan aabot ang kanyang obsesyon para sa lalaki? Kaya ba niyang tanggapin ang paulit-ulit nitong pagtanggi sa nararamdaman niya? Paano kung kailan sumuko na siya saka naman ito naghahabol at ayaw siyang pakawalan? Handa ba siyang mabaliw muli para dito o talagang tinapos na niya ang kahibangan niya para lalaki?

(21+) Harap bijak dalam membaca dan selalu berpikir positifRae Catalina adalah seorang perempuan cantik, yang juga merupakan sesosok pembunuh berdarah dingin. Tangan lembutnya yang terlihat lemah, ternyata mampu menghabisi siapa saja tanpa mengenal target buruannya. Karena satu dan lain hal, suatu hari ia terjebak oleh mangsanya sendiri. Dan hal tersebut, telah memaksanya untuk melakukan sebuah pernikahan dengan pria yang bernama Gerardo Ignacio.Laki-laki yang dimaksud, adalah seorang CEO dan pimpinan Mafia kejam yang menyukai hal-hal gila dan tidak pernah memandang sebelah mata siapa saja yang mengusiknya.Rae yang selalu merasa tersiksa dalam pernikahan palsu itu, akhirnya berniat membuat satu rencana baru untuk melenyapkan suami yang sekaligus adalah musuh baginya.Mampukah Rae menghabisi Gerando dan kembali pada hidupnya sebagai seorang pembunuh berdarah dingin? Atau, akankah ia tetap terjebak dan selamanya menjadi budak dari Gerardo?