Dark Humor Stories Novels & Stories

“Learn how to take a fucking joke. It was funny, okay? Laugh.” They both let out short awkward laughs that died almost instantly. But I saw their eyes. I knew them too well. They didn’t buy it for one goddamn second. I’d never been the type to tell jokes anyways. Not real ones. Not the kind that end with everyone smiling. They’d known me since we were kids running scams and stealing liquor from our parents’ cabinets. They knew the difference between me trying to be funny and me trying to say something I couldn’t say straight.

"When?" He looked around. Then shrugged. "Eventually." I laughed. "Disgusting." "You're dramatic." "You're living like a raccoon." That earned another laugh. Progress. Slow progress. But progress. For a while we talked about stupid things. Movies. Bad food. Terrible gang decisions. The time Davin accidentally locked himself inside a warehouse. The time Martil nearly punched a politician. The time Bellamy had arrived and immediately caused chaos. At one point I laughed so hard beer nearly came out of my nose.

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

The air was filled with their laughter as they retold splendidly outrageous and laugh inducing anecdotes. Sara launched the story, but with a dash of sweetness in her voice. “Austin presented me with a cup of coffee only for it to trip and spill all over my notes as if I am its clumsy oaf.” Austin interjected, he was doubtlessly sarcastic. “Of course no one could believe that Sara was reliable enough to observe a cup of coffee coming around.” Sara dodged with a smile that would not disappear from her face. “I don’t belittle your lack of intelligence; such is the case with some of the people.”

“Ahahaha!” The third baby told the joke that was obviously funny to the fourth, ‘cause his lovely laughter filled the room and he realized it was the voice that had brought him up his feet. He watched the fourth fall on his back from his laughter, getting up again to listen to the third speak before crying out again.

The seating arrangements were quite tricky but we still ended up at a good seat. And soon, the show started. "Hello everyone, my name is Justin and I'm your comedian for today." He said and the crowd roared with applause. "So something happened to me a week ago that I want to share with you lot." He began. "My girlfriend dog died and I got her another one but she was upset." "I asked her why.." "And she screamed - what would I do with two dead dogs?" Justin said and the crowd roared with laughter. I laughed too. I've always found dark humor funny anyways. I looked to my side where Eve sat but she didn't seem amused at all.

He begins to tell me stories of his childhood, of winter days spent by the lake and the antics of his youth. "You were quite the troublemaker." His words have somehow allowed me to think beyond my pain. He tries to tell a joke and fails miserably. Evidently, he is no comedian. “I suck, don’t I?” he asks. “Yes.” He laughs and a ghost of a smile appears on my lips. We talk about everything and nothing, his words like a lifeline, keeping the darkness at bay. He even attempts to make some silly faces to make me laugh, and it works a little.

Thursday, at lunch, she laughed. It was Marcus Chen again, who had come by the penthouse for what he described as an informal meeting and what Elena recognized as another inspection. He was telling a story about a competitor, dry and specific, the kind of insider humor that required context she didn't have. Victoria wouldn't have found it funny. Victoria's humor ran toward wit and social satire, sharp and polished. She wouldn't have understood the punchline of Marcus's story because the punchline was quietly absurd in the way that only worked on people who appreciated absurdity for its own sake.

They all laughed at my silly jokes which lessen my nervousness. “That’s fine young lady, and just by looking at your face and curvy body, we know and we could tell already that you’re going to hit big, which is you’re already big” Again the room filled with laughter. An elegant and formal meeting turns to be a talk show where they all asked me questions about my experience and the works I had done in Europe and in the Americas. I can see Hadrian smiling widely on his cheer as the guest were entertained by my silly jokes and some boring stories.

With nothing in mind, he laughed shamelessly! "Hahahaha! Fucking idiots, you two! Hahaha!" "You two are Idiots? How come you have to wear that! That is the wearing clothes of female animals! Hahaha!" "I don't know my friend is this Idiot Haha! Haha!" Dick mocked this out loudly while laughing. Of course he knew to the core about Darkness having him wear that clothes! "....." The "two idiots" which Dick called is boiling from anger. "Oh, oh!" Dick exclaimed.