Dark Humour Jokes Novels & Stories

“Yeah well, my sleeping pattern has been off-balance lately, so it's only natural that my eating habits will change too. And geez, I can't help being hungry all the time.” “I think you should cut back on the food a little. At this rate, you'll end up being the biggest person I know.” He teased, poking her belly. “You're such a dick.” “But you still love this dick.” “Are you serious right now? Tell me, does it look like I’m in the mood for any of your crap?” “Whoa, it was just a joke.” “Don't joke like that. Some jokes that are funny, right? And others that are just not ok. Guess which category yours falls into.”

“That was... something.” He didn’t even flinch. “Tough crowd,” he muttered under his breath. Tough crowd? Was this a boardroom or open mic night? --- Then came the coffee break. I’d barely made it to the break room when he cornered me with another one of his “brilliant” jokes. “What do you call a sad cup of coffee?” he asked, his voice dripping with enthusiasm. Against my better judgment, I played along. “What?” “A depresso.”

The dark humor was so perfectly Jaxx that I couldn't help but laugh. I burst out laughing, the sound bright against the lingering tension in the room. The absurdity of his grim humor never failed to catch me off guard, to remind me that beneath the violence and the control, there was a man who made me laugh in the darkest moments. Jaxx just shrugged, completely unbothered by his own dark wit, though a small smile played at his lips, softening the hard lines of his face.

someone yelled. "I won’t shut up until someone answers!" Lucas shouted back, clearly enjoying the attention. "We don’t know and we don’t care, so shut the hell up, Lucas!" another voice barked. "Wrong! It’s called Lemon-aid! Get it? Like the drink?" The groan this time was even louder. "Dad jokes are never, ever funny," Elodie muttered, shaking her head.

He put forth, tone defiant. Her head jerked back in disbelief. She was definitely wrong in thinking he could not handle a joke, rather, he was very witty to know how to make it bounce back with a more sophisticated dark humor. "This is a joke, right?" She quickly clarified because no one knew what could be going on in his head and considering his hatred towards her, she shouldn't be too relaxed with that joke of his.

A childhood visual of the old witch from the library Hansel and Gretel book pops into my head and only increases the giggles I exude. “I hope not, I’m barely grown, and she might add me to tonight’s menu. I’m too big for an oven!” I point out between snorts of stupid laughter and Meadow caves and starts giggling too, lightening our whole mood. I guess the tension and the heavy weight of this journey has us strung out enough, that even a lame joke like this has enough power to break the strings and have us erupt. It’s needed, between us, this bonding over awful jokes.

" Ian frowned at the question. Ian (8:15 pm) : What kind stupid question are you asking? Irritating Twat (8:16 pm) : Don't know the answer? Ian (8:16 pm): No. Irritating Twat (8:17 pm) : Because it is made out of cells! Haha! Ian gaped at the message for a long time before a small laugh escaped his mouth. The joke was really lame but it was funny.

She chuckled and then broke into delighted laughter. He grinned. “You get that I’m joking?” “Well, of course you’re joking. Vomity ones.” She laughed again. “Too funny.” “Most people don’t get my jokes. Say they’re inappropriate.” He finger-quoted inappropriate. “Are they idiots?” “Arguably.” She laughed again. “A woman who gets my jokes…” His pleased little grin turned into a broad smile. “Can I buy you a coffee sometime? Or a jet?” “A jet?” She laughed until her stomach ached and she had to bend over with her hands on both knees to catch her breath. “You’re killing me.”

“Are you allowed to make dead jokes about your parents?” “I know it’s rude,” he replied, grinning with zero shame. “It’s not supposed to be funny. But I get one morbid joke, don’t I? Don’t we all? Some day you’ll be making jokes about your family too.” I doubled over in laughter, the kind that shook my shoulders and made my ribs ache. Not because it was that funny, but because I needed it. Because it pulled me out of the heavy place in my mind where grief lived. Because he looked so happy saying such a thing when there was nothing to laugh about.

“Don’t you mean fangtastic?” “I most assuredly do not.” His face was now stern. I rolled my eyes. “OK, got it. Dick jokes are OK but vampire jokes are not. Touchy much?” His mouth was drawn in a thin line “Funny jokes are acceptable. Others should be met with the derision they deserve.” There was a pregnant pause and all silly jokes and puns rushed out of my head, so I settled for rolling my eyes at him as I jumped off the bar stool instead. “Do you have anyone you need to let know you’ll be away?” he asked