Romans & histoires Dirty Stories Funny

Family vacations, him at graduation with a crooked cap and arms crossed like he already owned the world. Then, older shots. One in particular caught my eye. A guy… same height, similar build, dark hair. They were laughing at a rooftop bar, arms around shoulders. It looked… intimate. In a way none of the pictures that followed did. And then, another. They were at the beach, shirtless and visibly drunk. One at the club too, lips brushing cheeks, drinks raised. My stomach twisted. Who the hell was that? I kept scrolling. The photos stopped being cute.

"When?" He looked around. Then shrugged. "Eventually." I laughed. "Disgusting." "You're dramatic." "You're living like a raccoon." That earned another laugh. Progress. Slow progress. But progress. For a while we talked about stupid things. Movies. Bad food. Terrible gang decisions. The time Davin accidentally locked himself inside a warehouse. The time Martil nearly punched a politician. The time Bellamy had arrived and immediately caused chaos. At one point I laughed so hard beer nearly came out of my nose.

“This is foodgasm worthy and you call it dabbling… you’re more than just suits, good hair and sexy selfies, then?” He clenches his jaw, letting out a small, forced laugh. “Can we not discuss the photos?” “I don’t know. I kinda think they make good blackmailing content.” “Funny.” “They were sexy. You don’t have some secret adult site page or something?” “Again. Funny,” he says sarcastically, making me smirk. We both reach for another slice, our fingers brushing as we almost pick up the same slice. “Sorry,” I say, just as he speaks.

“We’re Demons now. Your president just gave you an order.” I laughed as the men all began to take off their clothes. Twenty big, badass bikers all turned into fucking pussies as they stripped naked, tossing aside their weapons. “Disgusting,” Ford said. “Looks like a bunch of fucking hairy bears.” “Yeah, but bears with terminal cancer,” Dow joked. “Look at them, hairy and fucking patchy.” “And a bunch of tiny little cocks,” Spoil added, grinning. I turned away from the show, not interested anymore. I headed over to the bar and found a towel. I stripped off my jacket and shirt, tossing them aside, and wiped the blood from my face.

“Alright, what are your kind of movies, anyway?” “Do you really have to ask?” His fingers began to draw soothing circles on my arm, his warmth seeping right through the soft material of my sweater. “You know, those movies where the actors have no clothes, and the girls were loud and screaming their orgasm,” he said, chest-puffing out. “Then we can reenact whatever they’re doing.” I pinched his thigh as hard as I could. The guy was practically made of pure muscles. “Can’t you go on a fucking day without making dirty jokes?”

Mandy said cheerily, and the elevator dinged they had reached the top floors. Then Mandy realized what she just said to her boss no less. “Shit,” she breathed. And then she felt even worse. “I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” it came from hanging out with Kim and Freddy at The Grind, but he didn’t need to know that. Elliot’s eyes twinkled, “It was funny. Surprising coming from you, and it was adorable the way you blushed. Do you know any other naughty jokes?”

Elizabeth spat on the ground. "Well, no matter what outcome it is. Valery won't be able to be in that position." Holy added, "If you force other people to eat something you don't like, they will spit it out. Now my classmates are laughing at me. They said that there was a sticker in my home and she was so shameless that she stick herself to a man who doesn't want her. I feel so ashamed that I don't want to go to school now." As he spoke, Holy ran to the side of Alice. ***********

“Now get over here and help me eat this food. And grab me a soda, would you?” I tossed her the remote. “Find something you want to watch.” “Just not a chick flick. I want something funny tonight. Something that’ll make us laugh so hard we’re scared of throwing our pizza back up.” I opened the fridge. “I hear Trevor Noah’s new standup is hysterical.” “Oh, Trevor Noah it is, then.”

he wiggled his brows at him and I was getting worked up by whatever the hell was going on “Oh, you both were fucking!!!” Stan shouted so loud that I almost jumped in fear “We sure were” Jere joined them laughing I was both embarrassed and disgusted. Embarrassed by how they laughed, they were laughing in my face and he was laughing with them Disgusted with how he put my business out to them, to fucking randos I didn’t even know

"You should be worried about what your mom is going to do when she finds out you've been sneaking her perfume to school." Ashley sniffed her jacket, laughing hard at my words, "She'll definitely kill me. By the way, how do I look?" "Like a high school slut who smuggles dildos in her bag.” I replied, nonchalantly eyeing her playfully. Ashley pouted. "Whatever. I'm the sexiest person you'll ever meet, you know?". She said, but I didn't reply.