Dumb Things To Say Novels & Stories

“Someone has to make sure you don’t do something stupid.” I smiled faintly. “Too late for that.”

I can't believe that someone could utter such a dumb and stupid statement. "I never knew you are this dumb. How do you expect me to tell my family such blatant lies that hold no water? Do you think my family members are fools? Do you think they don't know me well enough to know the things I can do or not? Now listen carefully Mr. Dumb Head, my family knows what I am capable of doing, and sleeping with a stranger and getting impregnated by him is not one of them. I will never tell my family such blatant lies!" I fumed in anger.

Things cannot get messier. Fuck. Me.

Dumb right? I bumped into someone when I took the next turn sending their drink flying out of their hand, and all over my shirt. I reached for her hand to hold her steady, she almost slipped. “Oh, my God, you have no idea how sorry I-” The woman did not even let me land. “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? CAN’T YOU WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING? ARE YOU STUPID, OR DUMB, OR JUST PLAIN BLIND?”

I wanted to say something smart, something funny, something that didn’t scream oh my God yes please ruin me. But all that came out was a shaky, “Okay.”

he growled. What did he just call me ? “Dumb fuck. I said you were a dumb fuck,” he repeated. “Another word for fuckwit, chicken head, mindless fool, foolish tw*t, body with no brain, intelligence coma, mentally handicapped, cotton filled head, …. ,” I irately cut off the spastic synonym vomit of my freaking annoying wolf and hollered. “SHUT UP ! And stop eavesdropping on my thoughts. Now shoo away. I have more important things to do,” I chided the pissy hussy.

he asked in a tone that made it clear he’d suddenly become serious. I didn’t know how to answer. I was just being, well, I didn’t know. “I don’t know,” I said. “Don’t I get to say silly things now?” “What does that mean?” “I mean that I am blissed out right now and might start singing, ‘You’d Better Put Down the Ducky,’ by Ernie from Sesame Street, and would appreciate it if you didn’t make a big deal about it.” A minute of silence followed my statement.

"Fuck, you might even bend her over that car like you always wanted to." "Suzie is coming with, but I am sure I can get her alone in the bathroom for five minutes." "Hahaha. A five-minute man." Oh my god, if I have to listen to these dumb buffoons any longer, then I might just become as dry and dull as them. I mean, who the fück says pie these days and do not even go to the bending part. Is this idiot in high school still. Best, I make my exit before I am punching someone in the face again.

It wouldn't have sounded better even if I had said 'hey so I was randomly pondering and boom my subconscious says I like Alexander. How stupid would that sound right? Levine stares at me as d saying I'm the most dumbest and slowest person on planet Earth. "What? Say something." I plea. "I-" she chuckles. "You didn't know?- I- ok." I blink this time. "What are you talking about?" "It's so clear that both of you like each other." she says and I burst out laughing. "You're- you're kidding right?" she stares at me blankly. "Right?" she says nothing.

"Neither do I." "So don't do something dumb," Justine said dismissively. "And things will get better." "Stupid in what way? Are you capturing alive rottens for some lunatic researcher to experiment on?" Peter inquired; his brow furrowed. "You better stop being a savvy ass here now, guy," Justine said, beaming. "Better to be a clever one than a foolish one," they both joked as they smiled at each other, and I felt much better about our predicament.