Funniest Cartman Novels & Stories

This Christmas was actually one of my favorite and hilarious Xmas celebrations with uncle Gabriel here with us. It was fun and embarrassing too which made everything much of a sweet memory later on. How many can I remember? It began with little Josh's scandal, grandpa's embarrassment in the mall that day when he actually and mistakenly took his voter's card to the mall instead of his payment card. That day,I wouldn't dare wish anyone else the kind of embarrassment I felt under the unusual gaze of my classmates. I had to endure it all because my siblings and aunt ran away when they sensed what was happening. What if I tell you about aunt Caroline's argument with the pastor right

One day, I come across a post on the Internet. The original poster keeps boasting about the fact that all three children belonging to his older brother are actually his spawn. "The funniest thing is, there was once when he suspected the origins of his children. So, he got someone to take the children to take a paternity test. "Guess who he ordered? That's right—it's me, his most trusted younger brother! I get to sleep with his wife whenever I want. The money he earns all goes to my sons. This means he's working for me for the rest of his life! "Just the thought of that makes me happy to no end! Ahahaha!" But the thing is, I'm the older brother who's mentioned in the post.

Alexey was once the funniest kindest heart, she trains the teen werewolves, and takes care of the Pack's chores as she tends to heal the wounds of her pack. But she was cursed from the day she was born, being a hybrid, half witch and half werewolf caught the eyes of the most powerful creatures in the world. A wizard, a Lycan, and An Angel. Alexey thought she would have a happy normal life with her human mate but everything went wrong when the king of lycans was after her powers. The wizard is after her heart and the angel wants to eliminate her. Would she be able to fight the most powerful creatures on her own? Or would she accept being used for her powers? Can she find lov

I'm the most overlooked Omega in the pack, yet I somehow end up as Alpha Blake Cartman's fated mate. Because of my low status, he never allows me to appear at any events we're supposed to attend together. I plan 18 grand events for him, and he doesn't even let me show up for our anniversary. Then comes the 19th time, when he finally agrees to let me attend. I'm over the moon. I get dressed up, ready for the night, only to see Wendy Lowe—another Omega—already standing by his side. They stand there arm in arm, looking deeply in love, while the memory video I've worked so hard to put together has been replaced with clips of the two of them acting all sweet with each other. With his arm aro

Everyone in the company knows one thing about Ethan Jang. Our CEO has no heart. Cold. Emotionless. Brutal enough to fire someone before they finish “Good morning.” So imagine my shock when I walk into his office at 2 a.m. and catch the “Ice King of Seoul” ugly-crying over a K-drama, clutching a tissue and whispering, “Don’t die, Eun-bi… please…” I should’ve backed out slowly. Instead, he saw me. Now Ethan Jang billionaire, perfectionist, professional soul-crusher — is doing everything to shut me up: bribing me with bonuses, threatening to transfer me to Antarctica, and begging me (yes, begging) to keep his midnight K-drama breakdowns a secret. But hiding it becomes impossible when: •

My father was the most feared Don in all of Sicelia. He ran every illicit arms deal and casino in the underworld, his name alone sent shivers through the Mafia world. He worried that, as his only heir, I might fall for the wrong man. So he ordered every family to send a representative, and I would choose my marriage partner by lot. I drew Bernardo Vito, heir of the Vito family. It was an arranged marriage, but I still wanted to meet him in person. To keep up appearances before the evening banquet, I stopped by a haute couture boutique. The moment I stepped inside, my eyes landed on a deep crimson velvet gown. Just as I reached for it, a sharp voice pierced the air. "I want that dres

My husband Bruno's goomah was pregnant with their second child. At the family dinner, he caressed his lover Ava's rounded belly. "This one will be a boy, the future heir to the Marino family. As my wife, it is your duty to raise him." This was the second time he had openly acknowledged one of his bastards. I didn't make a scene like I had before. I just calmly lifted my head and looked Bruno straight in the eye. Raucous laughter erupted from the family members around the table. "Remember last time, when she acted like a madwoman? Looks like she's finally learned her place." "The Rossi family's businesses have all been carved up. What can she do besides be an infertile trophy wife? She

"Huh," she said awkwardly, looking at her hands. Seriously, Grace, just die; she cursed herself. "But you know the funniest thing..." he said, now standing in front of her, since when, she wondered. As he traced the line of her ears with his thumb, she shivered in excitement. Boy! Who would have thought she was sensitive in that area? He forced her head up with his hand. "I am going to have you here and now, Grace, and it won’t be a joke." Grace Bush, the only child of a prominent Canadian family known for her selflessness, and sweetness, experiences a tragic incident on the happiest day of her life, resulting in the loss of her entire family. Left as the only survivor, she undergoes a

While I was in the middle of getting intimate with my boyfriend, Hendrick West, a sudden burst of laughter came from under the bed. A chill ran straight through me. I shoved Hendrick away, scrambling to get up and check, but he pushed me right back down. "You're spacing out at a time like this? Guess you don't get to leave this bed today." I didn't question it. I let myself get pulled back in, eyes slipping shut as I tried to relax. Then the bedframe slammed loudly from underneath. I yelped and shrank under the blanket. A second later, his best friend burst out from under the bed, laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. "No wonder you've been ditching us lately," Linda Fa

After eight years of marriage, I finally get pregnant with Claude Frey's child. It's my sixth round of IVF, and my last chance. The doctor says I can't put my body through it again. I'm overjoyed, ready to share the good news with him. But a week before our anniversary, I received an anonymous photo in the mail. In it, he was bending down to kiss another woman's pregnant belly. That woman is his childhood sweetheart, the one his family watched grow up. She's gentle and well-mannered, and the kind of daughter-in-law every parent dreams of. The funniest part is that his entire family knows about her pregnancy, except me. I'm just the punchline in their joke. It turns out that the marria