Eric Cartman Funny Novels & Stories

He doesn't look like he's ever liked anyone in his stuck-up life. 'What's wrong with this clown?' Even Ivar who is meeting him for the first time sensed he's a stuck-up nitwit when he interrupts my thoughts to ask through our mind link. 'Search me!' I reply. 'He walks and acts like he was born with a rod shoved deep into his ass; If I ever look like that guys, shoot me, please!' I say Eric suddenly burst out laughing "What the fuck man!" He says out loud while laughing at the same time, making me wonder if he had forgotten we were talking through the mind link.

Derick explained. “But that’s unfair to my brother,” Carter muttered sadly, closing the gap between them. “Can we please stop talking about this?” Derick pouted, causing Carter to smile. “And talk about what?” “What we were going to do before,” Derick answered, playfully smacking Carter’s b*tts, making him moan. “Let’s go,” Carter muttered, biting his lower lip. *** “Do we need to throw a party?” Arthur mumbled tiredly. The whole process he was forced to go through was beginning to stress him out.

His response made my smile widen. "Are you talking about Shrek, sir?" I enquired. My beaming smile was still intact on my face. "I have no idea about that cartoon's name," he replied coolly and scrutinized his gaze on my still beaming face. I was damn sure that I resemble a smiling hamster due to my chubby cheeks. "I would have never guessed that you watch cartoons," I replied him with laughter in my eyes. This was gold, this man, 'I was always serious' man over here watches the cartoon and I would have never guessed it in my entire existence.

He wasted a few seconds before talking, but most of my thoughts came in a flash so not much time ended up passing. Carter scoffed. "I was feeling a little stuffed in that 'camp', so I decided to take a little walk. Go for a hunt if you will." Carter replied. His voice was as haughty as ever. I looked up as the flush of embarrassment slowly turned to something else. Carter had really been getting on my nerves for a while now. Why couldn't he just act normal instead of belittling everyone around him? He was the weird and strange one yet he insisted that everyone else was the problem.

, Harry finishes. Cam has his mouth open then shuts it like a fish out of water- wanting to laugh but holding it in, which leads to Perry and Harry softly giggling at him then leads me to full on laugh. Everyone turns their attention towards us as Cam still looks like a fish out of water- our small group continues to laugh at Cam until two sluts decide to make their presence known. “What are freaks laughing about?”, one says.

Okay, I guess I can’t keep a secret but I don’t think I like this man. “You were so sweet to me when we first met. Where did the magic go?” I ask, making him laugh as he loads his gun and takes out his walkie talkie. “Carter, your liability is here with me, making jokes even after witnessing a massive shooting, where a lot of people got shot but she is still…. making jokes and remains unaffected. Also, still has time to remind me to return her salad spinner.” He says into the walkie talkie. “I am sorry. Was that supposed to be humorous?” I say as I roll my eyes.

I couldn’t help but smile back. “How are you feeling?” my mother asked Willow gently. “I’m okay. I actually feel quite good,” Willow replied. “That’s great to hear.” The atmosphere felt a bit awkward as we all struggled to reconnect. Carter, however, found a way to break the silence, “Well, while you all catch up, I’m going to take a piss.” “Come on!” “Carter!” “Seriously!” We all yelled after him as he stumbled from his seat, laughter bubbling up and helping to ease the tension.

Carter said to Cathy with a low smile. "Okay, thank you." Hearing this news, Cathy suddenly had a bit of a trance, she felt like it had been a long time before, it was obvious that only a few days had passed, and in the future, Kevin Lewis would have nothing to do with her. "It's really great! That kind of scum should never be allowed to get away with anything!" Eric cheered as he hugged Leo and lifted him high in the air, Leo was amused and couldn't stop laughing. The atmosphere became more relaxed and pleasant, and everyone laughed along.

“Please. That was therapeutic.” But the feeling of relief was short-lived. Something pulled my gaze across the cafeteria—to a table near the windows where a small group of students sat, laughing. Carter Hayes was there. Casually leaning back in his chair, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He had one arm draped around a pretty brunette in a cheerleader uniform, while another girl whispered something in his ear that made him laugh, an easy, disarming sound that didn’t match the cold intensity I had seen in his eyes earlier.

However, it did nothing to mask his sleazy demeanor and the greasiness on his face; it only made him look comical, like a clown. Lily couldn't help herself. "Didn't you say you weren't coming?!" "I heard you were going to invite me to dance and confess your feelings," Cartman said with a lecherous grin, his eyes filled with sleaze, taking shamelessness to new heights. Lily: !!! She had been far too naive in her thinking. Cartman, a shameless and lecherous man, couldn't care less about what others thought of him. As his words hung in the air, laughter erupted from the surrounding crowd.