Eric Cartman Funny Novels & Stories

"I mean it, he's using an old Nokia product. Who uses that?" Involuntarily, a sudden laugh escaped my throat, making an embarrassing noise that caught the attention of almost everyone around us. I quickly covered my mouth with my palm to stifle the laughter, but Caden joined in, and soon we were both laughing uncontrollably. We must have looked insane, but we didn't care. We were free teenagers, and laughter wasn't a crime. However, our laughter abruptly stopped when a police officer in uniform appeared behind us. We tried to smother our laughter with miserable smiles and quickly pushed our carts ahead to the next aisle. Once we made sure it was empty, we let the laughter erupt like the craz

He crouched to straighten Adrian's clothes. "Dad, will you make up with her?" Adrian glanced at Lauren. Carter looked over, too. A second later, he frowned. "Your old man isn't going to fall into the same ditch three times." Adrian didn't know what to say. Indeed, it would be the third time. "Behold my cotton candy attack!" Carter's vision suddenly went dark. Then, his face felt hot and sticky. It smelled sweet, too. Lauren kicked him square in the lower back. "And why didn't those falls kill you?"

Grinning because he’d mentioned the top I had specially picked out to wear today just to drive him crazy, I set my phone down and purposely stretched as if yawning, lifting my arms over my head and arching back my shoulders, which pushed my chest forward. An immediate text came through. FROM COLTON: Evil. FROM COLTON: That was pure evil, baby doll. Do it again. I pressed my hand to my mouth because it felt as if I probably shouldn’t be grinning quite this wide in the middle of philosophy class. And then Colton wrote: FROM COLTON: Maybe you should fart or something to help me cool off my raging libido. From that point on, I couldn’t control myself; I burst out laughing. All my fellow students

Still, it wouldn’t leave me. When the artist finally turned the paintings around, Elara gasped in horror. Her caricature exaggerated everything. Her nose was huge, her expression looked like a puffed-up rooster. I laughed so hard my eyes watered, clutching my sides. Then he showed mine. It was even worse. My elegant posture looked stiff and snooty, my face stretched into something prim and ridiculous. Elara doubled over, laughing until tears streamed down her cheeks. We left the stall carrying our embarrassing portraits, the paper crinkling in my hands, still giggling like kids.

He laughed harder. His laughter was infectious, and despite what had just happened. I was laughing too. “Oh, come on! You were practically waving a flag saying, ‘Come at me, bro!’l” I said, shaking my head as I leaned back against the tree. Carter was still laughing, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. “So that’s your mate? That blond jerk who just walked off? The one who rejected you? The one you keep having drama over?” He leaned in closer, his voice teasing yet curious.

She was examining an antique painting of a still life and trying to decide whether she actually liked the image, or just the age of the image, when someone cleared their throat behind her. She turned and looked up at Mr Graynor, immediately mentally reverting to the almost eighteen-year-old caught smoking at the bottom of the oval. “Oh, hi, Mr Graynor,” she stuttered. “Hmph, I thought it was you, I had heard that you were back in town,” he snorted through his nose in amusement. “I’m not going to put you into detention, Ms Carter.” She laughed uncomfortably. “Yeah, I guess not, but deprogramming the indoctrination hasn’t caught up yet.”

“I want to make things right. I want this to be special. I am going to make it up to you, and show you the way you deserved to be treated, Mari. Show you that you deserve nothing less than beng treated like the most precious possession…” I didn't know if it was how emotional I was feeling, or the tense atmosphere within the room, but I found myself giggling, maybe partly because Ruby was giggling, and she then suggested we could get used to his suggestion, which only made me giggle more. Carter looked toward me with a raised brow. “Something amusing?” He questioned. “You think I am not capable of that?” I giggled again, knowing I was likely making things worse for myself. “Oh, I don’t doubt

Carl was amused when he saw their expressions, which seemed as if they had just swallowed an annoying fly. He laughed as he unhurriedly sat on the single chair left for him. He looked at each one of them and spoke, “Why are you all looking at me like that? You did not think that I came out of a rock, right?” The people in the room were startled when they heard him. They came back to their senses and immediately slapped themselves on their chests as if they finally understood. “Oh, boss, you are very humorous.” Carl looked at them and as if he had thought of something, his expression became extremely gentle and his gaze was even a little sweet.

I shouted so loud. I put my hand on my chest to check if my heart is still there. I looked at Dhaxzy who is laughing so loud while his hands are both on his tummy. Fuck, I got fooled by their cuteness. I shouted since the opening was so decent and then, suddenly a fucking nail fell and the sign of their cart fell on the pink character. Her face got wiped away and bloods were all dripping. It also happened to her friend but so much trouble. I stopped the video I could not watch this kind of cartoons. "Baby, this is not a cartoon for children. It could make you psychopath." I stated to him. He calms himself down and looked at me.

Her throat closed as dread filled her, and her palms became cold with sweat. “Then why—?” whispered Lucy. Right then, the obnoxious man returned and handed Lucy her cup of coffee with a sardonic bow. “Lucy, have you met Mr. Roberts?” said Pamela in a strained voice. Carter put out his hand, but Lucy was too frozen to shake it. “Carter Roberts,” he said in that annoying drawl, his eyes sparkling with what looked like triumph. “Baseball player turned executive producer, at your service.”