Farmer Jokes Dirty Novels & Stories

The farmer himself was happily singing near the field while watering the crops, close to the chickens. The sight made him smile. This world might be full of strangers and magic, but it doesn’t mean that most of them are bad. ‘Maybe it’s just me,’ he thought. He then approached the farmer and asked, "Farmer Mac, I've cleaned the milk containerscontainers and gave the animals their food. Is there anything else I can do?“

“Want to share one?” “I never turn down sweets.” He grabs a plate and two forks and goes onto the screened-in porch. “You seem to like it out here.” “I do.” I flick on the overhead fan, feeling the heat of the day hit us as soon as we step out. “And Tulip does too.” Owen smirks. “I have a really good crazy cat lady joke right now.” “No pussy jokes anymore?” He laughs. “I can always come up with one.” “I’m sure you can come up with one.”

"Man, what did you just say?" The guy scoffs and repeats. "Stupid slut!" CJ laughs. "Please tell me it's me you called that." The guy scoffs. "It's your cheap whore right there..." "That's funny bro!" CJ laughs and the Indian guy joins in and now they are both laughing. "See you around bro..."

An old man with a long beard said and handed me an apple too. “They’re a coward as ever!!” The other men replied and they laughed crazily while drinking their cup of beer. They keep laughing and some of them tell some jokes too so their laughter doesn’t end. I couldn’t help myself but laugh alongside them while hearing the joke they said. “What do you think the baby cow said when he got lost?” Jean asked. One of the men. “What?” We answered in unison. “Maa!!” He said like a cow and even acted like one too made everyone start laughing crazily. I almost fell on my seat laughing but thankfully I balanced myself properly.

"What the heck, Farah? You smell terrible!" Jake pinched his nose, glaring at his girlfriend as though she’d just crawled out of a dumpster. "Is this your idea of fun? Playing in trash or sewers?" he asked with a sarcastic laugh. Despite his disgust, Jake couldn’t help but laugh. He knew how much Farah valued her cleanliness and appearance, so whatever had happened to her, it was clear it wasn’t intentional. "Seriously, Farah! Where have you been? Did you get tired of cozying up to the wealthy men you’re trying to con, so you decided to dive into a dumpster instead?" Jake teased, barely containing his laughter as he watched her face twist in frustration.

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine." "Please stop," Ashlyn laughed, covering her face with her hands. "Your jokes are getting worse." "My jokes are berry good, thank you very much." He grinned, clearly proud of himself. "Get it? Berry?" "I'm filing for divorce." "No, you're not. You love my dad jokes." "I tolerate them at best." Richard leaned forward, still holding the strawberry. "What do you call a fake noodle?" "Don't—" "An impasta!" Despite herself, Ashlyn burst out laughing. "That's it. I'm leaving."

“Now. The laugh. I heard you yesterday, when you thought no one was listening. It’s too high.” He stopped in front of me, tapping his own chest. “Elion’s was deeper. From here.” The gesture was intimate. Unexpected. I flinched. His jaw tightened instantly. “Try again,” he said. “I’ll tell you a joke. It’s a terrible one. Elion hated it.” He told it anyway... something painfully unfunny involving a squirrel and a priest. I forced out a weak chuckle, the sound thin and hollow. “No.” The word cracked like a whip.

Nick displayed his sinistrous smile. "You're out of you mind, Nick. You're insane." Sunil uttered. "Who do yah think yah are, Sunil? You're just a son of a farmer. Yah were born to be just a farmer. Y'all live as a farmer yet yah act like you're my Father. Do yah think talkin' to me like that makes yah a hero?" Nick mocked the middle aged farmer. "Let's just go, Sunil." His wife whispered to him and tried to pull his arm again.

If we didn't get out of here now, we'd be in serious trouble. I circled her and lunged in, nipping at her hind leg. She turned and snarled at me, baring all of her teeth in a loud warning. The front door of the farmhouse burst open and the farmer stood there in his pajama bottoms. His shotgun was raised to his shoulder.

He replied, returning a smile. “Can I tell you a joke?” “Sure.” “What do you call a cow with one leg missing?” “I don't know, what do you call it?” He asked with a confused look. “Lean beef.” I burst out laughing, not able to contain my laughter. Aspen giggled. “That is the lamest joke I have ever heard in my entire life.” “But you laughed. Didn't you?” I asked with my fingers pointed towards him. “I did. I will give you that.”