Feel Like Rockstar Novels & Stories

Bryan’s POV The bass from my headphones thumped against my eardrums, Lil Uzi Vert’s “Just Wanna Rock” drowning out the dull sounds of the city. I was just walking, nowhere in particular, trying to shake off the weird static feeling that had been buzzing under my skin since yesterday. The air felt… charged.

It was a man, energetic and obviously faking his cough. “What’s up, people in bed! This is your most handsome announcer for today! Don’t cha worry, okay? Just ignore the flying bullets, the shootouts, and all that stuff out there. Keep calm and relax… and welcome to hell! Yeah! Rock ’n roll to the world, yow! I know my voice sounds amazing, so I won’t mind if you record it, it’s free! Don’t bother looking for my ugly monkey friends. They’re all out there fighting with their fellow monkeys, performing some ritual to get back to… planet apocalypse or whatever it’s called.

“She and April are both on the rock genre but hers is more angst y, I guess.” Well, I guess I was going through my rebellious phase when I actually heard her music so that’s why I was able to relate. I loved her songs since then. I guess that’s one of music’s wonders. To be ale to make other feel what you’re feelings through words and sounds. “Anyway, it’s not just April they’re going to meet. I don’t know the full line up yet but I’m sure the other artists will all be so good as well.” Mel says.

“Go little rock star.” I frowned as the line went dead. Huh?

“C'mon, universe. Cut me a break!” “I'm on the highway to Hell! Highway to Hell-” I skipped the song. “Please allow me to introduce myself/I'm a man of wealth and taste-” Skipped again. “All our times have come/Here but now they're gone/Seasons don't fear the Reaper-” “Argh!” I switched to mindless hip hop, gritting my teeth. “No wonder they say rock's the devil's music.” I didn't dare try metal; it just wasn't worth the risk.

He spoked. “Listen, Ryan. It’s okay to not feel okay sometimes. If you’re feeling a little lost at the moment then it’s fine because we are humans. We can’t stay in one state of emotion for a long time but it’s better to extract yourself out of that and keep yourself busy with the things that interest you. It’s also not healthy to depend on some person to feel happy and alive. You have to find a way to do it on your own so no matter what happens, you can channel good vibes from that thing.” I tried my best to make him understand that. “Yeah… I’m working on it.” He spoke in a whisper.

It’s exhausting and constantly leave me feeling like I’m not enough. “I need a break. From all of it.” I have a plan and it involves being very, very far away from him. I’ll head to the city and start over where no one knows me. I’m so tired of waiting for him to figure out what he wants. Rockstar or not. We’re not 16 years old anymore. It's time to grow up. Who knows maybe my leaving will finally make him realize what we could have if he wasn’t such a giant asshat.

To not always have to do it for yourself. “Come on, chica. You want this. I know you do. Let me play for you. Let me watch you create something. ” Those words pump me up. They give me a voice when I want to keep quiet. “I’ll try,” I tell him. His smile skates over me. I feel it warm me even though my eyes are still on our hands. “I can’t believe my music isn’t inspiring you. Guys who play guitar are supposed to be hot, right? I know I find hotness inspiring. ”

I'm not sure. "Are you and Zander friends anymore?" "No." "Why?" "Fight," he says while turning up the radio. I'm not sure if I offended him. He sings the Gorilla song on the radio. Freddie Mercury comes on. I sing to all the Queen songs. "You like Queen?" "Yes. Radio Gaga all the way," I say, making a 'rock on' sign with my fist. "Nice!!" He agrees, holding my hand again. I am starting to think this boy likes me or some part of me. And I can't lie to him. Because I think I might like a small part of him too. Not the way I like Zander. I'm in love with Zander.

“It’s more fun this way.” We ate in tense silence for a minute before he spoke again, softer this time. “You know… it’s not easy, this life. Everybody wants a piece of you. The label, the fans, the media. They suck you dry until there’s nothing real left. Some nights I’m surrounded by hundreds of people and still feel completely fucking alone.” I looked up, surprised by the sudden honesty. His green eyes held mine for a moment, something raw flashing there. Then he blinked and the cocky mask returned. “But hey, at least the money’s good and the pussy’s endless. Right?”