Filipino Funny Quotes

So there I was, stuck in this dark Victorian mansion for a whole freaking century, thinking I'd never get out. Then, out of nowhere, these two gorgeous girls swoop in and rescue me! I couldn't believe it, and we instantly hit it off. They showed me a whole new world I'd only ever imagined, and I was all about living a normal human life.   But just when I thought things were looking up, this vampire named Vivaldi pops up out of thin air, grinning like a possessed Jack-o'-lantern. I mean, a name like Vivaldi is bound to give you the creeps, right? He claimed I had some ancient first blood running through my veins and demanded that I sign some crazy blood contract with him—the kind of deal that comes with some seriously freaky consequences.   Vivaldi was trying to sell me the idea that this blood contract was his only lifeline, the only way to save his skin from something worse than death. But I wasn't some clueless newborn vamp; I knew better than to just dive into something as serious as a blood contract. Those things come with some heavy consequences, and I wasn't about to sign up for that without a second thought.   The problem was, if I didn't go along with his messed-up plan, he promised to make my friends' lives a living hell—the very people I'd started to care about. I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. If I decided to team up with Vivaldi, I'd be keeping him around, which is far from ideal. But if I refused, my friends and the whole town of Shadowvale would be in serious danger.    It felt like I was caught in this impossible situation, like I was trying to choose between two rotten apples.

Roxanne Jarvis had been married to Lucian for three long years, yet in all that time, he had never once touched her. Despite loving him deeply, Roxanne eventually came to terms with the fact that their marriage was nothing but an empty shell. With her heart breaking, she made one last request before walking away—she asked Lucian to spend just one night with her. Afterward, she left, facing the scorn and contempt of those around her. Six years passed, and Roxanne returned, not as the heartbroken woman she once was, but as a renowned, genius doctor—and with two twin children by her side. Now, men flocked to her, including her ex-husband Lucian, whose world was once again shaken by her presence.

Sa gitna ng masalimuot na buhay sa Maynila, si Heart Cruz, isang dedicated nurse, ay nagkakaroon ng muling pagkikita kasama ang kanyang mga kaibigan mula pagkabata, sina Althea, Angie, at Janith. Isang araw, habang abala sa kanyang duty sa isang pribadong hospital, nakatagpo siya ng hindi inaasahang insidente kay Brandon Flores, isang mayamang businessman at may-ari ng hotel at beach resort at isang Multi-Billionare. Ang isang simpleng banggaan ay nagresulta sa isang hindi kanais-nais na pagkakahawakan na nagpasiklab ng galit ni Heart. Habang ang kanyang kaibigan na si Janith ay nalalapit na sa panganganak, nagiging masalimuot ang sitwasyon nang magtagpo muli ang kanilang mga landas. Sa gitna ng emosyon at tensyon, kailangang harapin ni Heart ang kanyang galit at ang mga hindi inaasahang damdamin kay Brandon, na tila may mas malalim na ugat sa kanyang galit at ang kanyang asal na para dito. Ano kaya mangyari sa dalawa habang tinatahak ang hamon ng kanilang nakaraan at kasalukuyan? May pag-ibig ba kayang mabubuo sa kanilang alitan. Ano kayang kwentong sa pagkakaibigan? May pag-ibig pa kayang bumuo sa kanilang wasak na puso? At pagtuklas sa tunay na pagkatao sa kabila ng mga pagsubok at hamon sa buhay? "PAHIRAM NG ISANG GABI (BOOK #1)

Ang pagmamahal ay para sa bawat isa, kalayaan natin humanap ng tao na makapupuno at masasabi, na siya na nga ang makakasama natin sa habang buhay. Ngunit bakit napaka lupit ng buhay para kay Red. Anak mayaman, gwapo, matipuno, halos lahat ng katangian para sa Ideal Man ay nasa kanya. Lahat nga ba ay nabibili ng pera? Nabibili ng yaman ang dignidad? O may tao talagang sapat na makita lang masaya ang minamahal niya. Hanggang saan makakaya ng binata ang hagupit ng tadhana para ipaglaban ang mahal niya. Masasabi nga ba na totoo ang Happy Ending? o hanggang sa pelikula lamang pala makikita ito.

A self-proclaimed strong independent woman in her 30's finds herself single and lonely. She has a good friend who is stuck in his past. Together, they will try to battle their emotions as life partners. Will marrying a friend without a feeling bring them the happiness they've always wanted?

Andreanna Gutierrez, or simply Andrea is a nerdy delivery girl who, in one stormy night in a secluded area accidentally bumped over the heir to an enormous business empire, the Jackson Corporation. The heir is Allen Miguel Jackson, who is known as the most elite, fine-looking, eligible bachelor and a cold-hearted person. He asked Andrea to take responsibility to what she did and therefore, she was compulsory to bring him at her rented place and look after him for a while until he is fully recovered. Over time, despite of Andrea's lack of good looks and outdated sense of fashion, Miguel learned to acknowledge her capabilities and innate compassion that he agreed for her to become his personal assistant. Soon after, the two souls became close friends until Andrea admits to herself that she's deeply in love with her boss. How will Andrea win the indescribable heart of someone who's way out of her league? Is it possible that a wealthy, powerful, and good-looking guy like Miguel will eventually fall in love with her nerdy appearance? Or will he hate her after knowing her secrets? Will a mighty CEO and a mere nerdy personal assistant could have a happily ever after?

I was a regular interior designer until my life took a whirlwind turn when I was hired to renovate the luxurious property of Ethan Blackwood, a powerful billionaire with a reputation for being ruthless and cold. Our first encounter was a clash of wills, with Ethan acting like an arrogant asshole, and me, trying to maintain my composure to keep the job. But beneath his tough exterior, I sensed an undeniable attraction between us. Despite my resolution to stay away from him, fate seemed to draw us together. But just as we started to build something real, a dark secret from my past resurfaced, threatening to destroy everything.

When Elizabeth Walter gets fired from work, getting home to meet her boyfriend molded to the thighs of another lady, screaming her brains out against the wall, all hell, let's loose. Her once upon a fairytale life is shattered. Having loads of loans to pay back, Elizabeth's once 'alright' life becomes a disaster until she met him. The one whose name strikes fear into the heart of others Zane Creed. A workaholic with no social life, he needs a date for a business dinner. She needs the money for the next day. Just when Elizabeth's love life gets trampled on, A tall manly blue-eyed demon comes crashing in, making Elizabeth cream her thongs with just a look. Elizabeth might just be getting more than she bargained for when she becomes 'The Escort.'

Getting married should be one of the wishes humans tend to make, especially to be with the one they love, right? But what happens when a human wishes for nothing in his or her life, but wealth, and nothing else, not even happiness? Meet Emma Maxwell, a twenty five years old wealthy lady, who had been broken many times, because of love, and for that, she vowed to never fall in love again. Like every other person, Emma had always wished to know the feelings of love, to give and to get it in return, but relationship never seemed to be her thing, as she always ended up being the victim of one sided love. After trying series of relationship, without any, working out for her, she decided to give up on love, and started sleeping around with men. As she always said to any man that approaches her for love "that shit ain't for me, I just wanna get laid, and we go our separate ways. But what happens, when her parents, especially her mom, desperately wants her to get married, and not just getting married, but to her friend's son? Do you think she'll agree to it?....

I had it all planned out—my perfect life with a fiancé I was set to marry in a couple of months and a good job that paid my bills. But it all came crashing down when I caught my fiance cheating on me. And as if fate wanted to add insult to my injury, I lost my job the next day. Guess who I also ran into? Zachary Montgomery, my evil ex-boss. Despite our turbulent history, our connection was instant. Unexpectedly, he offered me a job, reigniting the sparks between us. I managed to maintain professionalism until he asked me to marry him so he could secure a contract. Now, I'm torn between the wild flames of passion that still exist and the heartbreak that still lingers from my rough past. Will I surrender to the allure of Zachary and the possibility of a new beginning? Or will I let my heartbreak dictate my future?