Filipino Funny Quotes

Letche naman oh! Kung hindi ko lang talaga kailangan ng perang pang piyansa kay Itay hinding hindi ako sasapi sa grupo ni Buknoy. At malay ko bang ang target namin ay isa pa lang bigatin na ubod ng gwapo, yaman, yabang, at saksakan ng pagkababaero bukod dun napaka-daldal niya at ang bastos pa ng bunganga. Walang iba kundi si Sebastian Cain Guevarra. Ang lalaking mas magulo pa sa buhok mo sa private part. Paano ba naman—"I'll give you two option, Miss. Pumili ka, kulong o magiging alipin ko?" seryoso ngunit nakangising tanong niya. Humakbang siya papalapit at inilapit ang mukha sa aking tenga saka bumulong. "Choose wisely cutie..." sabay kindat niya. ©CrystalineG

Anam is happily living her life with her sisters. Ayan just moved to a new place. what happens when Ayan crashes with a blonde beauty on his first day of work.

DE GUIA SERIES 1: The Hate List Magpapakasal na ang boyfriend of 5 years ni Erin - pero hindi siya ang bride. At ang mang-aagaw na pakakasalan, isusuot ang pangarap niyang wedding gown! Sa ibang pang balita, na-promote ang ex-bestfriend niyang two-faced. Nabigyan ng entrepreneurial award ang ex-boss niyang kontrabida. At lumalapad ang waistline niya! Nang asarin siya ng daigdigan, parang sasabog na bulkan si Erin. Isinumpa niyang lintek lang ang walang ganti! Ito ay isang kuwentong punumpuno ng galit, paghihiganti, kapalpakan at nagwawalang hormones. Na may kasamang isang masugid na lalaking nangangako ng katakam-takam na abs kay Erin - si Adam. Will she get to the end of her hate list or will she cross out everything and find the love of her life beside her?

Sam spent her life completely oblivious to the supernatural, that is until she meets her new boss, Caleb. Her reality came crashing down, and now she has not only a werewolf, but an Alpha of a nearby pack staking his claim. Now being pulled into his world, she must decide if she can handle all the things that go bump in the night. Caleb was one of the strongest of his kind, yet he is pulled toward a female that the moon goddess chose for him. No matter how much he tries to resist, he soon realises that he needs her as much as she needs him.

Hamil? Punya anak? Mana bisa. Dipegang saja tidak pernah. Maharani Aqila Dewi, gadis berumur duapuluh dua tahun itu memiliki IQ di bawah rata-rata, ia sangat mencintai Saka atau bisa dibilang, ia adalah bucinnya Saka. Ia sudah mencintai pria itu bahkan sejak dirinya kecil. Raysaka Wahyu Mahendra, pria yang sangat menjanjikan, cerdas istimewa, dan tentunya sangat tampan bagi Rani. Namun sayang, ia membenci gadis itu, gadis yang ia nikahi. Walaupun begitu, Rani selalu sayang dengan Saka. Rani tentunya tidak tahu mengapa pria yang ia nikahi ini tidak pernah peduli dengan usahanya dan jahat padanya. Tapi, cinta memang tidak membutuhkan alasan, bukan? Itulah yang menguatkan Rani selama ini dengan sikap Saka yang tidak peduli dengannya. Yang terpenting adalah Rani mencintai Raysaka dengan tulus sepenuh hati. Kisah cinta mereka pun dipenuhi dengan kekonyolan Rani dan sikap dingin Saka. Sampai akhirnya ia sadar, bahwa ternyata Saka tidak pernah mencintainya sama sekali. Pria itu hanya menikahinya atas perintah ayahnya sendiri. Akankah Rani masih mempertahankan pernikahannya ataukah perceraian adalah pilihan yang dipilih sebagai akhir dari kisah cintanya dengan Saka?

When Isabel Baker agreed to moonlight as a bartender at a private party, she never imagined she'd get anything more than tips. However, on this resort island, nothing was ever that simple. After tending bar with the deliciously handsome Noah who was flown in for the party, Izzy realized that she was about to break her number one rule: never fall for a tourist. But with his quick wit, charming smile and passion for marine life, Noah was the kind of guy that she couldn’t resist. At the end of the night, she barely managed to turn him away from coming home with her. Noah had only come to the island for one of Jack Saunders' famous parties. Yet once he met Izzy, he couldn’t bring himself to leave. After one steamy night together, he knew that he would do almost anything to keep her. Theirs should have been an easy love story, complete with a happily ever after. Except Noah was also moonlighting as a bartender that night and his true identity threatened Izzy’s research. When his billion-dollar company and her marine research project collide, their entire relationship crumbles into the sand. Will they be able to rebuild their beautiful sandcastle together, or will it be washed away by the rising tide, forever just a memory?

Everette and Jack know next to nothing about romance novels.... or women. So when they accidentally join a book club full of both, they have no idea what to think. But, as the book and time goes on, the ladies in their book club become more interested in a different plot. The love lives of both men.

BLURB: Sa isang malaki at mamahaling restaurant na pag-aari ni Richmond De Guzman, nagtrabaho ako roon bilang baguhang waitress. Hindi ko inasahan na mapalapit ako sa kaniya—minahal siya nang hindi ko sinasadya. Naramdaman ko rin ang attention niya na tila sumasagot sa nararamdaman ko. Tunay na naging malapit kami sa isa’t isa hangang sa isang araw... para akong pinag-sakluban ng langit at lupa. Nang sabihin niya sa akin na dumalo sa opisina niya sumunod ako, at isang nakakawindang na pangyayari ang aking nakita; si Natch at siya nakita kong nagháhálikan. Sobra akong nagsisi, nagalit sa sarili na umasa ako kahit walang kami. Ang mas masakit pa dahil may nakaraan pala sila. Ang dami kong nalaman na sobrang hirap tanggapin. Siguro ganoon nga talaga kapag assuming ka, sinasampal rin sa ‘yo ang isang bagay na ina-assume mo. Sa sobrang sama ng loob, pinili ko na lang umalis—hindi nagpaalam. Sumama ako sa mga magulang ko papuntang Singapore. Ilang taon ang dumaan, muli kaming pinagtagpo ng tadhana. Talagang hindi na tulad ng dati ang ‘ngayon,’ maliban sa nararamdaman ko. Bakit hindi ito nagbago? Gusto kong maging malaya, pero ang hiyaw ng puso ko ay iba. Dapat ko bang pairalin ang pride ko o sasabihin ko sa kaniya ang totoo?

Arianna Reynolds, second year med school student of King's University attracts the hottest player to ever exsist in the city of London, Damon King, who practices his internal training for cardiology. She was betwichingly gorgeous, and alluringly innocent. A perfect angel with good grades and a little devil who loves chaos. Damon King, the most arrogant badboy and the most cruel heartbreaker. His world toppled when she entered all in her glory as his junior. She excited him, and challenged him when she acted blind to his charms. His excitement turned to anger when she punched him. He was evrything she hated in a guy. Nonetheless, she found him slowly changing for her. Her brown orbs always seemed to tempt his heart with whirlpool of exotic emotions and he was sucked into it when ever she locked his gaze with him. ------------- "You are mine Ria," he yelled slamming her onto the nearby locker. "No," she deadpanned with annoyance. "I love you," he confessed nearning her petite figure, invading her personal space. Her breath clogged for a second as she was stunned with his confession. Her eyes hardened again when she said," No, you wanna play with me." Pushing him back lightly she looked away. "I need you Ria, trust me. It's no sick game of mine. I am had over heels for you. Please, just give me a chance," he begged her with moist eyes, closing the distance again. Her stance grew guarded as the cruel heart breaker was confessing with vehement emotions stirring in his eyes. "Prove that your intentions are true," she said pushing him back from her personal space. Leaving him drown in her thoughts, she walked away from him. "You are mine Ria. I will prove myself worthy of your love. You belong only to me," he promised to himself watching her retreating figure.

"Fangs, Friends, and Fumbling Feelings." 
 "What’s scarier—falling for your best friend or turning into a werewolf?” Dale thought coming out to his parents was the hardest thing he'd ever do. Then, he turned into a werewolf. With his best friend, Kirk—a self-appointed expert in bad advice and a fabulous wardrobe—by his side, Dale must navigate love, fur, and family drama… without biting anyone’s head off. All Dale had wanted was a little night out, but when a mysterious bite left him with strange urges and even stranger body hair, he realized his life just got much hairier. With his best friend Kirk, who’s more than happy to point out every supernatural misstep, Dale is plunged into a werewolf love triangle that pits him against tradition, transformation, and a particularly hunky alpha named Juke. As Dale fumbles through newfound powers (and fur), he has to figure out if love is worth the bite or if he’s doomed to be the next gay virgin martyr of the werewolf world. One thing’s for sure: Dale’s love life is about to get beastly! After a disastrous night out, Dale wakes up to find he’s gone from worrying about his rent to worrying about his claws. Now, with Kirk playing cheerleader and reluctant werewolf coach, Dale must decide between life as a lone wolf or rolling with the pack (and the ridiculously attractive alpha Juke). In this romcom packed with supernatural mishaps and laugh-out-loud twists, Dale learns that sometimes, love bites—and he just might like it.