Fucked Up Jokes

When three people meet each other by chance a romance knocks them on their ass. ~Casey~ A 21 year old virgin working in one of the hottest night clubs in town. She may seem innocent but deep down she is a psycho who enjoys torturing people. She's never been touched by a man and she's killed the ones that have tried. She loves her only remaining family, her older sister Carrie. She has trust issues and a foul mouth. Can she find someone to match her crazy? ~Lincoln~ A 20 yr old street racer with a rough past. He is a bisexual, submissive with some masochistic tendencies. He's gorgeous and catches a lot of attention from both sexes. His cheating ex doesn't won't leave him alone almost borderline harassment. He jokes to hide the pain he bares every day. See how his life changes when he bumps into a little waitress. How will he react to a sexy, possessive man trying to gain his affections and encourage a little woman's psychotic tendencies? ~Malachi "Psycho" Sokolov~ He's a 23 yr old torture expert. He's well known in the underground and with the mafia families for using his pack of dogs during his interrogations. To the public he's a businessman, owning several nightclubs, a couple restaurants and some miscellaneous businesses. He is also bisexual and has had only a few lovers that can handle his bedroom habits. No one has really caught his attention until he sees a young man arguing with one of his staff and a new waitress that's as sweet as can be with little bit of fire and crazy. Find out if their love blooms or burns.

His thrusting was becoming unbearably intense, with his monster stretching my pussy every second he slammed in. A mind-numbing sensation coursed through my body. "T...This is so... Fuu~ckk!" He moaned tilting his head back. The more we dive deeper, the harder it becomes to stop and I couldn't help but surrender myself to the pleasure. Sex scent filled the room, sweat dripping off our bodies. Our bodies clasped together like a second skin, and lewd sounds filled the room, accompanied by our moans and groans. She couldn't help but feel like prey as she couldn't even move. She felt dangerously safe with them, and at the same time, she knew that they were no good, 'Which kind of existences did I get myself entangled with?' Claudia came to the United States to gain experience before returning to her Mafia family in preparation to succeed her father and take over, but unexpectedly, she gets entangled with the three sinful gorgeous males who are the sons of Mr. Lazer, the overlord of the US Mafia. And there, she got used, played with, fucked, and left behind, only to be used again. Now, she is torn between leaving the United States and returning to her country, but how can she leave without completing her mission for coming? And how can she resist being used again and again? After all, the brothers have never forced her, but who could resist them? Claudia is in for a very long, thick, and hard decision to make...

Caspian and Callista had a bad relationship when their parents got married. Caspian thought Callista's mother married his father for money, so he hated them. Caspian disliked it even more when he found out that Callista was dating Orion, who was Caspian's rival since high school. Orion is the son of the richest man in Canada, one level richer than Caspian's family. He increasingly thinks that Callista and her mother are gold diggers.Until one night Callista accidentally saw Caspian's transformation into a werewolf. Callista was very surprised, Caspian was also surprised. Because, no one knows about the problem other than himself and also a great scientist in his city. Caspian was exposed to severe radiation effects while doing research in the lab, so he mutated into a werewolf. To keep the secret, Caspian threatened Callista. He didn't trust her, so he watched her every move. He always pressured and threatened Callista. Until he began to be seduced by Callista's body and fucked her. He did not expect that Callista was still a virgin when he made love to Callista. "From now on you are mine. Stay away from that bastard because I don't like his smell on your body." Caspian said sharply and with emphasis. "You have no right over me, bastard! If you touch me one more time, I'll tell mom and dad to break your hand!" Callista said with emotion and pain all over her body.

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?

How do you fall in love with an ex-convict? A murderer? How do you fall-in-love with your future husband’s father? How do you allow him, take your virginity on the walls of a prison cell? And how you screamed and moaned as he fucked you senselessly against the prison wall? How can you forgive the man that placed you behind bars? How can you forgive the man who rejected you and ruined your entire life? Amanda Weller is getting married to the man of her dreams. That was the plan, Marcus law was the man she loved, and dated for seven years. He was a successful attorney and her father approved of him. His parents had died a long time ago, by a robbery gone wrong .she knew absolutely nothing about his family. So imagine her surprise: when she gets a letter from her Soon to be father-in law, “Cyrus law”. A man that was supposed to be dead. She is big on family and her curiosity got the best of her. It was simple: meet your father-in law behind your fiancé’s back and surprise him at the wedding. A pleasure filled night of mind blowing sex in a prison cell wasn’t part of the family reunion. Neither was falling in love and being locked in prison by the man you gave everything. Cyrus law wasn’t the type to put his pants down and fuck a girl young enough to be his daughter,against a prison wall.She was supposed to be nothing but a weapon against his son. He was out for one thing only, revenge on his conniving son. But it may just have cost him the woman he loves.

Warning! Explicit content! I smelt something different the moment I stepped foot in my room. It was dark and I couldn't see a thing, but something smelt different. I moved my hand to the wall, turning on the light switch. The entire place became bright immediately, and that was the moment my nightmare began, the moment my life changed forever. Electrifying shock tingled through me as I found a strange figure, seated in the middle of the room. My blood ran cold instantly. My legs tottered and my lungs stopped pumping air. His presence froze me at once, or was it his eyes that were as cold and dark as shadows carved in stones? They stared so coldly at me, cloaked in an eerie stillness that sent shivers down my spine. I had never seen a picture of the devil before. But this guy in front me looked like someone who must be very close to him. **** He had been stalking her for three days. He knew where she worked, where she lived and the dumb people she visited. She didn't have much friends, just a bunch of nuns who appeared in fúcking white garments. She smiled so brightly like she was the purest soul on earth. She acted so naive like she's never been fucked before. It didn't matter how much she pretended, how much she tried to hide her identity. She was his next target and he'd be treating her like one. He didn't become the King of the night for no reason; the renowned torturer. He'd torture her like he did to others, get the information he needed and put a sweet bullet in her head. She was not getting off his list.

"You f*cking recorded me Drego?!" I stood naked, my hands shivering as I stared at the little camera in my hands, still beeping. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Aggravated, I slammed the camera to the ground, shattering it into pieces. "I trusted you! I let you in." My voice crackled. "So all these were your plans right? To fuck and film me?!" "Elena, listen… pls hear me out…" he tried to explain. "GET OUT!" I yelled. He grabbed my arm, but I backed away immediately. "I never want to see you again. You’re sick, and need help!!!" *** Hi, I’m Elena Stone, and my life is a mess. My father forced me into marrying a stranger to save his company from bankruptcy. Two weeks after signing five years of my life away to be married to David Knights, I discovered he had an identical twin, Drego. One night Drego disguised as David, fucked me, the best sex I had ever had all my life. Not only did he fuck me, he filmed me. What started as a mistake turns into an obsession. Drego is reckless, dangerous, and devastatingly good in bed— the kind of man who ruins you and leaves you begging for more. I tried to bury this secret, but everything crumbled when I learned that Drego is already entangled with Cindy, my high school best friend. And yes, Cindy barged into me and him on one of those unplanned lustful nights, and she had sworn to ruin me. Trust me, she’s not one to mince words. With my dignity and sanity at stake, I’m fixed on saving my marriage with David, letting go of my obsession with Drego, and rekindling my friendship with Cindy. Will any of these be possible? Find out!

After Noah's death, what greeted him was an AI system calling itself Black, offering him a job working for the World and Soul Management Bureau.  He has to travel to many different worlds, taking over an identity of some unfortunate soon-to-be-dead dude, and live out the remainder of his new life there however he wanted. Easy-peasy! ...Right? ...Ok, sure, there are a few small kinks here and there... like terrorist attacks, murder plots, zombie apocalypses, and the like... but one should always look at the bright side! Noah: "...Blackie, is it just me, or is this good brother of mine looking at me like a hungry wolf seeing a juicy piece of meat?" (°△°|||) Black: "Don't worry, host. He is just a bit excited due to nearly losing his life back there. You know, adrenaline." (¬‿¬) Noah: "…are you sure that's what's really going on here?" (っ °Д °;)っ Black: "Absolutely!" (≖‿≖) … ~ Many worlds later ~ Noah: "This secret mission that you can't tell me about… it can't possibly be to get fucked by the least appropriate target?!" (°ㅂ°╬) Black: "Of-of course not! Ho-how could that possibly be, eh?" (; ﾟ 3ﾟ )~♪ ML: Right, right, that's just a very (not so) coincidental bonus. Ψ(╹ڡ╹ )Ψ 💠 Author Note 💠 * SSC has long arcs. Each world is a fully-fledged novel on its own. * Don't let the summary (or the cover) fool you! While SSC does have an occasional explicit smut, it is primarily a fluffy and hilarious romance! * Pairings are one-on-one and taboo-ish. (E.g. hired assassin and his target, monster tamer and his tamed beast, master and disciple, siblings, brothers-in-law, etc.) * More info in the info chapter Author website: lucypandora.com Support the author on ko-fi: ko-fi.com/lucypandora Discord: lucypandora.com/discord

NOT FOR READERS UNDER THE AGE OF 16. "As if." I scoffed looking around, my eyes was starting to hurt from how much sex I'm seeing. My jaw almost dropped at what those douchebags are doing over there. "Light, camera, action!!" the producer said and I shook my head in disbelief, three omegas were on top of a pack member I recognize all too well, he's one of Adams' friends, they were having a foursome in front of so many people, and the camera, are they going to sell or upload the video? "Neither, they are going to send it to the pack members who want it," Charlie replied to my unsaid question looking at me warily. "What a very amazing pack this is," I said sarcastically. "Well, she's all yours. This is where you belong," he threw a smirk in my direction and I rolled my eyes at him "show her around and make her feel at home." Jack beamed shaking her ass once again. "Make sure you stop by again." Charlie said biting her index finger and I started at her in disgust. "Follow me." She instructed leading the way and swaying her hips from side to side shaking her ass, her butt was jiggling so much I was concerned if it would fall off, I wonder how many men have fucked and touched her. "Exactly one hundred and twenty-three men." She replied nonchalantly and my jaw dropped. “This is your life now!” She smirked throwing her head back to look at me, a let out sarcastic laughter knowing fully well I'd rather die!! The day I get my full strength back, that day, I will make Alpha Mayers pay with his life.

My body was limp, trembling, barely able to breathe but André was relentless. He kissed me like he hadn’t just wrecked me, like he hadn’t already made me come so hard I saw white. His tongue slid into my mouth with hunger, claiming me the same way his cock did without permission, without pause. Still inside me, still hard, still pulsing. “Look at you,” he murmured against my lips, his thumb stroking my jaw. “All fucked out and we’re just getting started.” “I… I can’t,” I breathed. “Yes, you can,” he growled, pulling out just enough to slam back in. “You will. Because you’re mine. Because this pussy,” he reached down and slapped it wet, swollen, sensitive drawing a shocked gasp from me, “belongs to me.” The sting mixed with pleasure and made my thighs shake. I should’ve said no. I should’ve begged him to stop. But I didn’t. I couldn't. Because every time he spoke like that, every time he manhandled me like I was something to be owned, I melted for him. ........ She’s spent her life trying to be the perfect daughter, craving nothing more than the love her cold, unkind mother refuses to give. Her only source of happiness is her brother, the one light in her dark world. But everything changes when she crosses paths with Alpha Andre.Powerful, ruthless, hand deeply possessive, Alpha Andre has watched her from the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to claim her. When the opportunity finally presents itself, he doesn’t hesitate. And from that moment on, her life is never the same.