Fucked Up Jokes

Aku pergi menonton konser penyanyi favoritku sendirian. Saat sesi permintaan lagu, aku sangat gembira, berdoa semoga aku menjadi penonton yang beruntung. Namun detik berikutnya, suamiku yang sedang dalam perjalanan bisnis muncul di layar lebar dan di sebelahnya adalah cinta pertamanya, Desi Maulanda. “Aku ingin meminta lagu ‘Kembali ke Masa Lalu’, kembali ke tiga tahun lalu, Martin Sutanto tidak akan pernah putus dengan Desi.” Seluruh penonton bersorak, merayakan cinta mereka. Hanya aku yang menangis. Saat sesi permintaan lagu berikutnya, aku melihat wajahku yang berlinang air mata muncul di layar lebar. “Aku juga akan meminta lagi ‘Kembali ke Masa Lalu’, kembali ke masa lalu aku tidak akan pernah menerima lamaran Martin.”

On the night she’s crowned Luna, Aria Wynter is betrayed—her Alpha disappears into the arms of his past, leaving her broken and bound by a hollow mark. Betrayed and abandoned, she finds solace in the arms of the Alpha’s Beta, Riven. Torn between duty, desire, and a dangerous secret that could shatter everything, Aria must decide to either protect her heart or surrender to the one man she was never meant to love.

Elara Smith spent years of her life devoted to a man who doted on her and swore she was his everything. But on their anniversary, her world collapsed. Alexander Sterling dumped her for her own best friend—a woman from a wealthy family. Heart broken and left with nothing, Elara disappeared without a trace. Six years later, she returns as a successful, high-stakes lawyer sought after by the city's elite. Alexander is desperate to win her back, claiming he never wanted her gone in the first place. But Elara has built a wall between them. Now, she faces a choice: succumb to his charms or stay focused on her quest for revenge. As old secrets are told and the lies finally unfold, a bigger truth waits in the shadows. How will Alexander react when he finds out the two little angels she returned with are actually his?

Sahabat terbaikku, Maya, terbang dari Miama untuk menemaniku di minggu pesta lajangku. Hari-hari terakhir kebebasanku. Dia bersikeras merayakannya dengan acara malam khusus wanita di rumah, memesan semua makanan pesan antar favoritku. Dia memintaku memegang ponselnya dan menunggu. Tiba-tiba, layar ponselnya menyala. Sebuah pesan dari seorang pria. Foto tanpa baju. Aku pun membaca pesan itu. [ Aku butuh kamu malam ini. ] Kemudian, pesan itu disusul foto lain lagi. Foto mainan seks dan perlengkapan bondage seperti yang di film. Wajahku terasa panas. Jantungku berdegup kencang. Tanpa disengaja, aku baru saja masuk ke kehidupan rahasianya. Namun, gambar berikutnya membuatku diam terpaku. Foto close-up dada pria itu. Sebuah bekas luka bergerigi yang kukenal lebih baik daripada diriku sendiri. Itu milik tunanganku, Lucian Caraka.

Have you ever pain so raw it feels like your hear is being dragged out of your heart? The type that breaks into pieces you could never find because they are lost to the wind of scorn and shame. Cassandra carries her pain like a weight on her shoulder everyday despite her smiles and jokes, too young to remember what it felt like to have parents before she lost hers to an accident her grandparents do not like talking about she is trying to find the little good life has in store for her. But she is given a brutal awakening when the one person she thought would bring her much needed happiness tosses her aside. So Cassandra runs away from it all, she runs far enough to never feel the despair looming behind her. And she runs into the arms of Ray, handsome, cocky, but caring, considerate, and loving. Cassandra is about to find out love works without the mate ties and build bonds with the most unlikely people. Cassandra is about to find the love acceptance she always yearned for in the most unlikely place.

"Vaxel Jericho, do you take Clarissa Vicente to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony?" The priest asked. He bends to her ear, his face showing nothing but hate. "I vow to live together in hate, making you spend the rest of your life in agony and pain, and making you pay for the sins of your mother" he whispered to her ear. "To love her, to comfort her, to honor her and to cherish her?" "To hate you, punish you, to break you and get you fucked up" "In good health and in sickness, forsaking all others, until death do you part”? The priest asked. "In depression and in sickness, through tears and even at death we part not" his vows whisper to the ears of his bride. Fear written all over her face, she let the tear drop. This was just the beginning. ~~~ The war between both families, Vicente's and Jericho's, had started years before the heir's were born. Both families would never be seen in the same place at the same time, the mere mention of the name was a problem and caused a rise of anger. But something crazy happens and the heir and heiress of both families fall in love, as they say love happens. Falling in love was a crime and when both families find out about the little love affair between Vaxel and Clarissa the two are separated. Five years later, an accident occurs in Vaxel's welcome party, an accident that forces him to do the forbidden thing. He forcefully marries Clarissa in order to make her pay for the sin she never committed. The sins of her mother.

Setelah enam tahun menikah dengan Farel, aku akhirnya hamil anaknya. Namun, dokter tampak sangat terkejut setelah mendengar nama Farel Merza. "Nyonya Keluarga Merza sudah melahirkan seorang putra di rumah sakit kami dua tahun lalu. Saya ingat dengan jelas, beliau adalah seorang artis terkenal dan sangat serasi dengan Pak Farel." Aku tidak percaya dan segera berkata, "Apa yang kamu katakan? Kami sudah menikah secara resmi dan punya akta nikah!" "Nggak mungkin saya salah. Pak Farel adalah sosok terhormat dan memiliki hubungan yang sangat baik dengan istrinya. Beliau selalu menemani beliau dalam semua acara ...." Perawat di samping ngobrol, "Sekarang ada aja orang di dunia ini. Bahkan berani sebut sebagai istri Pak Farel. Nggak takut diusir dari kota ini ya?" Aku meninggalkan rumah sakit dengan sedikit harapan. Namun, aku benar-benar hancur ketika pengacara memberitahuku bahwa akta nikahku adalah palsu. Mataku berkunang-kunang. Aku tidak bisa lagi mendengar suara di sekitarku. Aku akhirnya mengerti. Dia tidak pernah menjadi suamiku, dia juga sama sekali tidak mengharapkan anak di dalam perutku. Aku menghubungi nomor telepon rumahku. Aku bersumpah akan membuat pembohong tak berperasaan ini masuk ke neraka!

I thought I was just a broke college girl with a traumatic past and too many cigarettes. I didn’t know I was born to lead a pack. I didn’t know I was being hunted. On the night of my twenty-fourth birthday, everything changed. One second I was at a club, pretending life didn’t suck. The next, I was being dragged out by a stranger with ocean-blue eyes, thrown into a black SUV, and told I was a werewolf. Apparently, I’m not just any werewolf—I’m the heir to a powerful bloodline, the only survivor of a massacre, and the center of a prophecy that could bring down one of the darkest witches in history. Now I’m stuck in a mansion full of secrets, locked behind doors I didn’t ask for, and shadowed by an Alpha who looks at me like I’m everything he’s ever wanted—and everything he’s not allowed to have. They say I belong here. They say I have power. But I didn’t ask for a bond I don’t understand, a fate I don’t believe in, or a love that might just break me.

Aku adalah pembunuh paling terampil sekaligus penasihat kepercayaan sang bos mafia, Alexander, dan juga istri rahasianya. Namun, selama lima tahun pernikahan rahasia kami, dia tidak pernah mengizinkan putra kami memanggilnya "Papa". Dia selalu berkata bahwa keluarga-keluarga musuh terus mengawasi kami dan aku serta putra kami adalah satu-satunya kelemahannya. Semua itu, katanya, demi melindungi kami. Aku memercayainya, lalu diam-diam membantunya mengurus seluruh urusan keluarga, sampai cinta pertamanya, Bella, kembali dengan seorang anak laki-laki berusia lima tahun. Dia bahkan memesan seluruh taman bermain hanya untuk mereka berdua bermain seharian. Hari itu adalah ulang tahun putraku. Dia dengan keras kepala menunggu papanya pulang, memeluk kue yang perlahan meleleh di tangannya. Saat itu, harapanku benar-benar hancur. Aku menelepon seseorang dan berkata pelan, "Tolong hapus identitasku dan Leo. Hapus semua informasi tentang kami." Namun, ketika aku dan putraku benar-benar menghilang, bos mafia yang berkuasa itu justru menjadi gila, menyisir seluruh dunia, dan mencari jejak kami tanpa henti ....

After transmigrating into the apocalypse, he acquired a Super Fusion System.Two Level 1 Zombies can be combined into a single Level 2 Zombie, the combined zombie would also be completely loyal.The higher the zombie’s level, the better it looked.The zombies also possessed unique skills and techniques. Some are heaven shattering and groundbreaking, with the ability to take the life of any adversary.In fact, the zombies will even continue to spawn new zombies every day.