Funniest Things To Say Novels & Stories

"I don't care what you say, Maya. You might say you want to be independent, but that doesn't mean you're not mine. You're mine, Maya." He growled angrily. I stepped back in shock, I'd never seen this side of him before. I was shocked but yet turned on. ~*~ Maya is a good girl barista with a dream to open up her own café in New York City Alexander is a broody and mysterious billionaire who needs her as his Personal Assistant, and in more ways than that too. They come from wildly different backgrounds, but they bond with their shared desire for each other, and when these two worlds collide... All hell is ready to break loose. The Billionaire's Assistant is a dramatic romance novel that is bound to leave you feeling different emotions all at once.

Ryan was the CEO of an power company and I was just his assistant, but slowly he wanted me and didn't want no one else to have me. Ryan showed me to new ways of having s** I done things I never knew I would like...some things with an ice cube and with leg spreader.

Felicity is finally happy, living out her dream with her chosen mate, Parker. As things are finally looking up for her, the life she's built slowly begins unraveling. She discovers who she really is, but in the process, learns more than she bargained for. Will she be able to stop the inevitable or accept the future as it supposed to be? Parker has the two things he's always dreamed of. A beautiful family and job leading the warriors. There is a target on his back and danger looming on the horizon. Can he protect the things that mean the most to him before it's too late?

The books say that besides empaths, mages are the most sensitive when it comes to emotions. They also say that mages are the most dangerous supernatural s pecies to walk the earth. There's a reason for that, the elders say that mages who are underaged are a ticking time bomb because if a mage who is not of age constantly experiences negative emotions before their Coming of Age ceremony, their magic becomes twisted, their heart becomes cold and their eyes change to reflect that evil magic coursing through them. No one ever believed the books, thinking of them as fairy tales. At least they didn't until Olive Lane walked into school her magic dark and corrupted enough to give her a shadow familiar. Her hair no longer an almost white blond but a haunting purple. Gone were her kind and emotion-filled green eyes and in their place were amethyst eyes filled with nothing but hatred and amusement. Everyone watched her snap the neck of a classmate with the tilt of her head and it was in that moment they realized that the books and the elders were right. And for the first time in their peace-filled lives, the residents of Ravenswood felt true horror because when she looked at them, they knew that in front of them was the monster spoken of in fear and terrified reverence. Olive Lane,the sweetest and kindest person to ever walk the earth was now a Dark Mage. Will her soul be forever lost in the darkness or is there a hope for redemption? Will she defeat her demons or will they overtake her and ruin that which she loves...

Jake Storm always knew that he was different, he was faster, smarter, and good in a fight, he always saw things that others didn't think were real or ever existed. He felt like a freak of nature in his own family until his father sat him down and told him that he came from a long line of monster hunters. When a new family made their way into his home town and strange things begin to occur all fingers point to a set of siblings but things were not as they seemed and the monster lurking in the shadows did not seem so monstrous and those thought to be saints were the true predators lying in wait.

I am owned by him.......A Ruthless Billionaire ...or can I say a Mafia??? I stepped in his world as his contracted bride..........Is it easy to be his wife??..........Our worlds are different but I love him....or I hate him???.......What will happen to me...

“You are mine Valentina! And I don’t like to share what I own” Diego said, handing me the head of my boyfriend in a box. He is as cold as the Arctic ocean, An emotionless devil with no atom of humanity, Diego Fernandez, A name that everybody fears because it belongs to the stone-hearted ruthless Mafia boss who does not mind destroying everyone who stands between him and whatever he wants. He is often referred to as the Devil, he never takes no for an answer, in fact, no is a word people know not to say to him if they want their heads still sitting comfortably on their necks, so when he decided that he wanted the beautiful college student Valentina Sanchéz as one of the whores in his harem her owner Don Carlos knew he had no choice but to hand her over without so much as an argument. Diego is intrigued by her stubbornness, so he makes it his duty to punish her until she begs for mercy and she eventually does. Something about Valentina’s venerability makes Diego want to protect her, he slowly realises that he is indeed in love with her. Valentina is terrified when she realises that she has fallen madly in love with her captor, she is even more terrified by the fact she is carrying his baby. She knows of Diego’s desire to be the last of his bloodline, she also knows that not telling the devil of her pregnancy would incur his wrath, what would she do? Things also get worse when Diego finds out that Valentina is not the naive innocent girl he had thought her to be. Is there a chance for the devil and his angel to fall in love? Read to find out!

Lucy's boyfriend betrayed her when he got his best friend pregnant and kicked her out of the house when she was pregnant with his child. He said the child wasn't his. Lucy has to go back to stay with her evil stepmother and her kids who made her life miserable. She had to stay and take care of her child and save money to move out, but nothing ever goes right for her. Lucy met Henry,who brightened her and her son's life with his warm smile, but their past came knocking on the door to ruin the small happiness they built together. **Excerpt from the book** When I got closer to them, I saw Daniel was looking at the man in front of him in awe as he had the cutest smile on his face. "Danny ,what's wrong?" I asked and he seemed to snap out of his thoughts and smiled as he pointed to the man in front of us. "Mommy, I want a Daddy in a tux." Daniel squealed while pointing his finger at the man and the man turned his attention to him. I was so embarrassed that I drew him to myself and put his hand away. "Danny don't say things like that." I scolded him softly, avoiding eye contact with the man and I wondered if I should apologize until I heard a hearty laugh. "Oh so you want a Daddy in a tux as well?" He asked Daniel, his velvety voice made me stare at him in awe as his face was plastered with an unwavering smile as I watched him as he squatted down to Daniel's level.

“Say it like you mean it, darling,” he purred, leaning in and licking my neck, “and I might stop.” * My mother got remarried… and cursed me in the process. I thought moving into this mansion would be the worst part of it. I was wrong. Because living here means living under the same roof with them. The Varkas brothers. Beautiful. Dangerous. Possessive. And absolutely, devastatingly off-limits. They call me “stepsister.” But the way they look at me? The way they touch me? It’s anything but brotherly. There’s something wrong with them. Something not… human. I can feel it in the way their eyes flash when they’re angry. In the way their bodies burn hotter than they should. In the way they move, like predators in the dark. I don’t know what they are. But I know one thing… whatever’s hunting me now, I won’t survive it. Not if I keep letting them close. Not if I keep letting them ruin me with their hands, their mouths, their filthy words. I should run. I should fight. But the truth is… part of me doesn’t want to escape. Because whatever they are… I crave it. And once they claim me, there’s no coming back. One more thing… All three of them touch me, all three of them make me feel things, but there’s one in particular… One… * AUTHOR’S NOTE: A fair warning before you open this book; this isn't a sweet romance kind of book. It’s dark, filled with sensual fantasies, fleshing longings, erotic musings, and lots, and lots of smut. So if this is your kind of vibe, “Welcome, princess and make sure you wear your seat belt.” But if this is not, then…

“I don’t know how,” I whispered. “Can you show me? Please, daddy.” He should have said no. Instead, he said, “Lie back and open those pretty legs. Let daddy take care of that for you.” When I shattered all over his fingers he looked at me like I was the most devastating thing he’d ever seen and said, “That’s my sweet girl.” Three days later he put me on a plane to London and didn’t look back. ----- She has spent three years across an ocean trying to unlearn her Stepfather; his voice, his hands, the way he said her name like it cost him something. She almost managed it. Then he called to say he was getting married again and he needed her home. Now she’s back in Boston, sleeping under his roof, watching him plan a future with someone else, and pretending she doesn’t still want him the way she did at nineteen. He is doing the same, pretending. Controlling. Building walls and calling it protection. But three years haven’t changed what’s between them. If anything, the distance made it worse. He sent her away once to save her from him. This time, she isn’t leaving. Some things are wrong in every way that matters, and still impossible to stop. WARNING: This book contains explicit erotic content and is meant for mature audiences. It explores desire, power, and complicated relationships without holding back. Please proceed only if you’re comfortable with that.