Funny Adult Jokes

Book two of the Alpha's Phoenix mate! Melissa is a simple illiterate human village girl who dreams of going to school and becoming an architectural designer but her dreams get shattered when she is forced to marry a man five times her age. She finds a way to get out of the marriage and with the help of Kaira, goes to a different country where she meets Dean. Dean is the alpha of Black phantom pack who's been waiting to find his mate but after finally finding her, he gets shattered when he realises that she not only is an innocent little girl but also a human who isn't interested in love

Alpha Kane imprisons Amy in his dungeon to soften her up for questioning after her brother, Jake, abducts his sister, Lisa. But she proves stubborn and he enslaves her, hoping this will make her more compliant. Kane is attracted to the dark-haired she-wolf from a rival pack, recently absorbed by his own, even though he has found his Luna and mate, Selene. But Amy is not what she seems, and the Alpha also has a hidden agenda. Working together to right a centuries old wrong, the pair begin to question everything they have been taught to believe. Will pack hierarchy ever be the same again?

Book Three of The Luminary Quartet The bears were currently considered enemy number one, right alongside the elders of my species. The problem was, I didn't know them as that. To me, they were simply friends, family even. My mother's mate had been a bear shifter, and I had ultimately found my own other half within the Ursidae family, as well. Everything had been perfect for a single moment in time, and then I was fleeing my home, right after rejecting the bastard who thought he could put his hands on me. I vowed two things then: to never return and to never give a male that much power over me again. Yet, Luna apparently had some twisted plan laid out for my life because circumstances seemed to keep arising, bringing me ever closer to Reese in spite of my best intentions. The wolves' rapidly declining numbers sent us careening across the county in a race to prevent the destruction of our species by the bears, though I struggled with picking sides. New and old faces appear along the way as rogues and other heretofore unknown foes emerge to stop us, making it difficult to know who to trust during these tumultuous times. Will Scarlett hold fast to her deep-rooted beliefs during the journey, or will her perceptions shift as much as the reality she returns home to? *Note: While the main characters in each book will receive their HEA, I wouldn't recommend reading them out of order due to the overarching storyline that continues throughout them all. ***Warning*** This book is intended for adults 18+. It contains mature themes and adult language. Please read at your own discretion.

Willa has been running for as long as she could remember along side her twin brother, West and her mother. Their Mother has always told them that a someone is after them. Life was difficult since their mother trained them to be ready for anything, even her death. Two years after their mom died, the twins luck has finally run out and they are captured but they are shocked to discover that it's their own father and brothers they've been running from. Now reunited, will the twins finally find happiness and family or will they end up being destroyed by their family's dark secret? With everyone hiding secrets, what is the truth? What is safe? The twins have only ever believed in their motto, Chaos not cash, maim not murder and each other. Can they trust anyone else and more importantly, should they?

Warning!!! Rated 18+. Adult content here. Denzel Hobbs, that's his name... A Billionaire flirt. He is dominant He is possessive He is extremely handsome He is every woman's dream. He has every lady at his command, as they would kill to have a night with the demi-s*x god. But he doesn't believe in love. What happens when he found himself being obsessed with his maid, and he finally got entangled in hot romance with her, and his obsessed lover, Eva vowed to do everything within her power to have Denzel all to herself? What happens when he found himself in a tug of war with a drug lord over the one woman he has decided to fall in love with, his entire business empire is at stake because of this and he has to choose between Love and Legacy? Let's find out what happens when love, hot romance, envy and betrayal come to play.

"Remember the most important rule, don't get caught." *** I try to keep my expression neutral and give nothing away in my eyes, Eli is a smart man, smarter than he lets on and will know if something is different about me, "Everyone change, Eli, you definitely aren't the man you were when we first met, but the question is if the change is for the better or the worse." His hand reaches over the table and take mine in the gloves and though there is a barrier between our hands his touch is felt and the reaction sent to the rest of my body. "I love you, Anna and that's not going to change, but I have to admit that I like this side of you more. However, I am contented with whatever I get as long as I get to have you." These words are the words any woman wants to hear their man tell them and it is almost perfect to my ears... almost because I am not Anna...

Warning: Dark and BDSM theme story which involves highly adult content in the beginning. A naive maid who worked for two domineering billionaire brothers was attempting to hide from them because she had heard that if their lustful eyes fell on any woman, they made her their slave and owned her mind, body, and soul. What if she one day came across them? Who would hire her to serve as his personal maid? Who would control her body? Whose heart would she rule? Who would she fall in love with? Who would she despise? *** “Please don’t punish me. I’ll be on time next time. It is just that-“ “If next time you speak without my permission, I’ll shut you up with my shaft.” My eyes enlarge, listening to his words. *** “You belong to me, Kitten.” He pounds into me hard and fast, going deeper into me with his every thrust. “I… be…long.. to you, Master…” I’m just moaning insanely, clenching my hands behind my back.

Carla Simpson A CEO of a million-dollar company at age twenty. Her parents died when she was 12 years old. Kyler Jacobs a twenty-eight-year-old Billionaire falls in love with Carla at first sight. He arranges to be present at her meeting and what looked like intimate pictures of the couple went viral over the internet. Kyler’s mother fakes a heart attack to force him to marry Carla. The two fall in love, but many trials and tribulations come in between them will the couple survive, or will they call it quits?

"What about her?" Andre asked."Who?" I asked he motioned to a group of women specifically the one sitting down, I couldnt really see her because of the dim lights and the group of friends she had around her."No,""Why not?" Jason asked I took another sip before saying."She is sitting with her friends,""And?" Andre asked."Her friends are drunk,""And?" Jason asked confused."She is the only one with a beer and look at how she continuously checks her phone every five second,""And?""The beer isn't strong which means she is the designated driver her friends are drunk which means she has to leave soon, and the phone just shows that she would rather be anywhere but here, like she has much more important things to do. Which let's me know she probably won't give me the time of day because I'm not the most important thing in her life right now,""She is the one, she is the one you got to date"

BE WARNED! 18+ ADULT CONTENT WITHIN!! The smile on her face, the smoothness of her lips, the freshness of her breath and the sweetness between her legs were all he began to think of. Oh, how he longed for that moment of lustful passion he'd be satisfying when he finds his way between her thighs. "I'll have you all night and share you with no one else. I want to make love to you till the break of day!" "Just shut up, lay down on that bed and spread your legs wide open for me. I'd be right back." Meet Justin Smith, the son of Central City's wealthiest man, who owns a slew of businesses including Smith Technology and Enterprise. Justin, a young 26-year-old Billionaire who is well-mannered and well-connected, must marry the daughter of his father's best friend to fulfill his dying mother's wish. He's a cold-blooded man who doesn't express emotion. Valerie Houston is a 24-year-old daughter of the wealthy Houston family who owns a car company. She's determined, diligent, and has a strong spirit. Her parents plan for her to marry one of the wealthy smiths. They have no choice but to follow their parents' instructions. What happens if Valerie and Justin start to fall in love? Will their romance blossom as a result of their love? What happens if Valerie's ex-boyfriend Scott, a well-known burglar, comes after her to reclaim her? Will the cold-hearted Justin be able to save Valerie? Will she play the role of Juliet, and he will play the role of Romeo? In this exciting, mind-blowing, love-filled, and romantic narrative, you'll find out!