Funny Adult Jokes

Kiela just wanted to make a call in the rooftop of the hospital where her friend got admitted because of a minor injury. She wasn't expecting to see a guy, who she had thought to commit a suicide. She only wanted to stop the stranger from killing himself and wasn't expecting to be kissed at all. "If I could turn back the time, I would never love you." - Kiela Syrbia Dela Vega "I met different people, but I didn't fall for them... because they aren't you." -Joaquin Rigues

Vida was a waitress who put in eight hours a day in order to afford her $300 monthly rent and three square meals a day. She enjoyed each and every fantasy story as if it were true, and she longed to live in and explore the worlds depicted there. But she was shocked to find out it was true. Meeting a royal is the last thing she expected, but it happens. She does, indeed. Her visions morphed into steamy fantasies, and before she knew it, the handsome stranger was standing outside the bar where she worked. The question recurs, "Am I dreaming again?" They repeated in unison, looking into each other's eyes in disbelief. What happened afterwards is ancient history. And the ride was quite exciting.

Everette and Jack know next to nothing about romance novels.... or women. So when they accidentally join a book club full of both, they have no idea what to think. But, as the book and time goes on, the ladies in their book club become more interested in a different plot. The love lives of both men.

Sam spent her life completely oblivious to the supernatural, that is until she meets her new boss, Caleb. Her reality came crashing down, and now she has not only a werewolf, but an Alpha of a nearby pack staking his claim. Now being pulled into his world, she must decide if she can handle all the things that go bump in the night. Caleb was one of the strongest of his kind, yet he is pulled toward a female that the moon goddess chose for him. No matter how much he tries to resist, he soon realises that he needs her as much as she needs him.

DE GUIA SERIES 1: The Hate List Magpapakasal na ang boyfriend of 5 years ni Erin - pero hindi siya ang bride. At ang mang-aagaw na pakakasalan, isusuot ang pangarap niyang wedding gown! Sa ibang pang balita, na-promote ang ex-bestfriend niyang two-faced. Nabigyan ng entrepreneurial award ang ex-boss niyang kontrabida. At lumalapad ang waistline niya! Nang asarin siya ng daigdigan, parang sasabog na bulkan si Erin. Isinumpa niyang lintek lang ang walang ganti! Ito ay isang kuwentong punumpuno ng galit, paghihiganti, kapalpakan at nagwawalang hormones. Na may kasamang isang masugid na lalaking nangangako ng katakam-takam na abs kay Erin - si Adam. Will she get to the end of her hate list or will she cross out everything and find the love of her life beside her?

What would happen if two people who hated each other suddenly had a baby to take care of?  -Jennie Lane, the college student council president of Yale University. She is very kind and calm but when it comes to Lisa she becomes the opposite.   -Lisa Delaney,  a famous troublemaker student along with her friends  Sarah and Rosé. She likes to irritate and see Jennie stressed because of her, for no definite reason. -Kevin Smith, boyfriend of Jennie and a varsity player.

BLURB: Sa isang malaki at mamahaling restaurant na pag-aari ni Richmond De Guzman, nagtrabaho ako roon bilang baguhang waitress. Hindi ko inasahan na mapalapit ako sa kaniya—minahal siya nang hindi ko sinasadya. Naramdaman ko rin ang attention niya na tila sumasagot sa nararamdaman ko. Tunay na naging malapit kami sa isa’t isa hangang sa isang araw... para akong pinag-sakluban ng langit at lupa. Nang sabihin niya sa akin na dumalo sa opisina niya sumunod ako, at isang nakakawindang na pangyayari ang aking nakita; si Natch at siya nakita kong nagháhálikan. Sobra akong nagsisi, nagalit sa sarili na umasa ako kahit walang kami. Ang mas masakit pa dahil may nakaraan pala sila. Ang dami kong nalaman na sobrang hirap tanggapin. Siguro ganoon nga talaga kapag assuming ka, sinasampal rin sa ‘yo ang isang bagay na ina-assume mo. Sa sobrang sama ng loob, pinili ko na lang umalis—hindi nagpaalam. Sumama ako sa mga magulang ko papuntang Singapore. Ilang taon ang dumaan, muli kaming pinagtagpo ng tadhana. Talagang hindi na tulad ng dati ang ‘ngayon,’ maliban sa nararamdaman ko. Bakit hindi ito nagbago? Gusto kong maging malaya, pero ang hiyaw ng puso ko ay iba. Dapat ko bang pairalin ang pride ko o sasabihin ko sa kaniya ang totoo?

"To have and to hold for the rest of my life..." When Bella married her crush, she never imagined that one day the most powerful Alpha in the Decacities would appear, claiming that she is his mate. Meanwhile, Reece Nikolai, alpha of the biggest pack in the Decacities, has waited for decades for his bride to appear. When the moon goddess finally grants him a mate, there are two problems; 1. She's human! 2. She's married to another man! What happens when they can't stay away from each other?

Elle had been chasing the man she wants, almost all her life. She did everything she can just to make Grey fall inlove with her. Kahit masakit. Kahit gaano katagal. Akala nya kapag nakuha nya na, masaya na. Just like the books she used to read, the ending would always be in favour of the main characters. But in her case, it didn’t. She endlessly chased the man she thought could make her happy, only to bleed more. But she was only a human, she can’t forever revolve her world around him. So, she gave up. Ayaw nya na. Pagod na pagod na sya. Ang patuloy na pagtataboy ni Grey ang nag-udyok sa kanya para tapusin na ang mga kahibangan nya. Her ignored heart’s revival was to move on, forget every shameful things she did, and live her life without him. That was the plan. Pero kaya nya bang iwan si Grey? Gaano ba kadali ang kalimutan ang isang tao na kabisado mo na buong buhay mo? Paano ba kalimutan ang isang taong minahal mo higit pa sa sarili mo?

Frankie (Isa as the birth name) has not had an easy life since her father killed her mother when she was six. She gets minimum age working as a waitress and it's not enough to get good housing. Her fate changes when she meets Trey, a business tycoon at the bar she waitresses. Frankie's first impression of Trey is that he is rude, arrogant and entitled. Trey on the other hand is fascinated by how Frankie dresses and behaves and he is sure he is going to sleep with her which he does finally and becomes obsessed. Frankie's best friend and coworker at the bar introduces her to an extra hustle which involves supplying meds to pharmacies. Frankie has no idea that they supply contraband drugs and that one of the pharmacies affected is Trey's, who owns a chain of them. When Trey finds out that the drugs being supplied are fake, he launches an investigation and Frankie is in the middle of it. He is shell-bent on punishing her so he hires her as a help and doesn't pay her. Frankie knows she can't do anything about it because she doesn't want to go to jail so she lets him treat her however he wants. She ends up losing her and Trey's baby (he had no idea she was pregnant), and hates him more. Trey is devastated and does anything to make up for it. She finally forgives him and they get back together.