Funny Adult Jokes

Ukiyo Fujii is an ordinary student who desired to have the most beautiful voice and become the greatest idol of all time. One day, while walking at a shrine, she accidentally to met a god who offered to grant her this wish. Little does she know that in return, this god has to live with her. This dark god, Shinrin Kurai, was exiled to earth by the higher gods as punishment. As part of his plan to return to the godly realms, he needed the help of a human with a strong desire and passion inside her heart. Now, beginning his journey with Ukiyo Fujii, other former gods started to interfere turning their adventure to a deadly quest. To protect Ukiyo, Shinrin may risk losing his freedom and the ticket to return to his realm forever. Drawn into Ukiyo's world, will he choose to stay with her? Will Ukiyo accept him when she finds out that this gift is not permanent and he used her as living bait for his return?

A can change everything. One with your best friend, and it changes the whole dynamic. What will you do when you get to know that your best friend has been in love with you? What will you do when she doesn't want to be friends anymore and wants more instead? * “Everytime I see you with a guy, my skin burns” Millie hisses, pinning me with an intense look that makes my belly flip. I am pinned to the wall with her caging me. “Do you know how hard it is to pretend that you are only my friend, and nothing more? That I love you but cannot have you?” Her words spin inside my head, and the thundering beating of my heart echoes in my ear. How do we come to this situation? I pant as she leans closer, her eyes averting to my parted lips. I am having thoughts of her. Hell, I see her in my dreams so often now that I am not sure what she means to me now. Millie caresses my cheeks and a shiver runs down my spine. “I can't pretend anymore, Grace. It's getting really hard” she whispers in my ear and I squirm. When she meets my eyes, I say something that surprises her. “Then don't.” I crash my lips on hers, crossing whatever lines we had.

Jolene was never supposed to stay. An omega with a shadowed past, she’s been hiding in the ruthless Dark Slayer Pack, keeping her scent cloaked and her secrets even closer. She’s counting down the days until she can disappear — quietly, without leaving a trace. There’s just one problem. Alpha Jayden. Her fated mate. He doesn’t know. He can’t know. Jo has spent years pretending the bond doesn’t exist, burying the pull in silence. But when a she-wolf named Lucy — an outcast on trial for murder — accidentally wears Jo’s unscent-masked clothing, everything crumbles. Jayden catches Lucy’s scent… and believes she’s the one. Now Jolene is forced to watch her mate fall for someone else. As strange deaths ripple through the werewolf world and the Royal Generals arrive to investigate, the lies Jo built her world on begin to crack. Why is she hiding her bond? What truth is she protecting? And what will happen when her scent is no longer hidden? In a world ruled by destiny, love, and betrayal — Jolene may be the only one who can stop what’s coming… But only if she dares to be found.

When you're pregnant, your bf ghosted you immediately after you told him the news. Your brother's buddy, Albert, the alpha billionaire, stepped in and offered you a job as his personal secretary. Things got wild when you ran into your no-good bf again. He provoked you, and impulsively, you kissed Albert for revenge.Little did you know, Albert's fame meant that kiss was caught by a swarm of reporters. Right then, Albert dropped to one knee in his sleek suit and reached out his hand. "My dear, will you marry me?"

Penelope was surprised by her best friend Anastacia when she announced that she is engaged to her boyfriend that she met just 6 months ago. Not knowing anything about the guy and she even saw him for a few times, from her own heartbreak experienced she suggested to her friend she’ll gonna check first his background and anything. Bewildered of what she saw while spying her best friend’s boyfriend she takes a video of it and decided to upload in social media to teach the man a lesson. Unfortunately, the person on the video was not her best friend's boyfriend but his twin. Not knowing that she’ll be the one who will be punish not only because of the video but in someway her heart will going to be involved too.

Dichas, sol y amores (ligaya, liwanag at mga pag-ibig) Te esperare, senorita Toma unos cientos de anos En la primera reunion Te mirare de Nuevo (Maghihintay ako, binibini Abutin man ng ilang daang taon Sa unang tagpuan Muli kita'y susulyapan) Sa inaakala mong tahimik na buhay, pa'no kung sa isang iglap ay maibalik ka sa nakaraan? ‘Yong tipong hindi mo na nga sineryoso history subject mo tapos mapupunta ka pa sa panahon ni Diego Silang. Idagdag mo na rin ang mga kilos mong hindi mala-Maria Clara, saan na ngayon ang bagsak mo? Lalo na't wala ka nag iba pang pagpipilian… Ano ang gagawin mo? Kuwentong iikot sa nakaraan, pagmamahalang handing abutin ng siyam-siyam. Sa sugal ng pag-ibig, hanggang saan ang kaya mong itaya? Para sa pamilya, handa mo bang isuko ang lahat? Paano kung kinakailangan mo nang mamili? Vahlia Rex Medrano, ang babaeng babalik sa sinaunang panahon upang isakatuparan ang misyong hindi niya naman ginusto. Sa kan'yang paglalakbay, masasagot na kaya ang mga katanungang umiikot sa kan'yang isipan?

At the staff meeting, I was singled out and criticized by the supervisor. The supervisor said that someone had reported issues with my work attitude and demanded an immediate explanation. My face was displayed on the big screen at the meeting, subjected to public scrutiny. Just as I was feeling overwhelmed, the face of our boss appeared in my camera frame."Tell me what’s the problem.”

Sa edad na 32 ay hindi pa naranasan ni Andrea ang magkaroon ng boyfriend. In short, siya ay NBSB o No Boyfriend Since Birth. Hindi naman siya kapangitan ngunit napakailap ng pagkatataon sa kanya. May nagawa ba siyang malaking kasalanan sa kanyang past life? Sa edad niya ay hindi na siya umaasa pa na may lalaki na magmamahal sa kanya ngunit gusto niya na magkaroon ng kahit isang anak man lang. Puwede naman na magkaroon ng anak na walang asawa kaya naisip niya maghanap ng sperm donor. Hindi artificial insemination ang gagawin kundi natural method. Sa kalagitnaan ng paghahanap niya ay nakilala niya si Martin na isang guwapong bilyonaryo. Unang pumasok sa isip niya na perfect match ang binata para sa kanya ngunit ang problema lang ay hindi siya nito gusto. Mapapayag kaya ito ni Andrea sa nais niyang mangyari? Paano kung hindi? Itutuloy pa ba niya ang paghahanap ng sperm donor o ititigil na lang at tatanggapin na lang na kailanma'y hindi siya magkaroon ng asawa't anak?

When I have a pen in my hand and paper before me, I think I want to write something to cast every despair in my pathetic life away. I have a figure of a depressed guy whose fate is too much: saving the world. He is not stupid nor even smart, he is not ugly nor even good looking. He is just a nijikon (A person who loves an anime character more than the real one) like me. He once thought to give up on life, but an event changes his life. I'm sure you guys start guessing how the story goes, but too bad, this one is different than the others.

Liiza and Zach have been friends since they were little. Their parents have been close for just about forever. When high school starts, Zach finds himself in a new group of friends who all end up in relationships, leaving Zach feeling a tad bit jealous. So, he does the most logical thing for that moment. Lie. Will Zach & Liiza get caught out in a lie? How will they, and everyone else cope with their muddled lives of friends and drama