Funny Bonnie Novels & Stories

We will make you feel things no one else can. Bonnie sat there another minute, water cooling on her skin. Heart hammering. Then she started laughing—real, shaky, a little crazy. “This is the weirdest fucking day of my life. I got parasite-fucked at the bottom of the ocean and now my coochie has a cult in it. Great. Just great.” The Honeyswarm laughed with her—soft, overlapping, delighted. We like your humor. Now check the computer. We already searched for answers.

Donald immediately replies "They got kicked out." Loria tries to ask "Did-" Bonnie cuts her off saying "They didn't want to tell them where I was." Bonnie sings "I got a baby in a front-pack, it's in my tummy, so it's a tum'bag." Loria sings "She'll be your friend, if she survives, her mother will be her sister." Bonnie sings "Um, I guess I will be her sister because of daddy." Loria holds her hand in sympathy.

I just had to do it either way. I approached my first catch, two chatty young ladies who looked about my age. I tried to recall Mich's lines as I smiled stupidly at them. "Hello, I'm Bonnie from La Monte Luxuries. You look dashing, and I love your fashion taste! It's so gorgeous and appealing." I paused, just in case they had anything to say in response. None. Awkward silence.

“I'm just concerned for you. If you don't want my help, that's fine.” Bonnie scoffed and said, “Fake!” before storming off to her room. As Bonnie turned away, she didn't see the sarcastic and triumphant smile that spread across her sister-in-law's lips.

I pulled out my tool bag, this time grabbing some meat sheers. "Haha, You.... think...you...can...break me... Alpha?" Bonnie coughs. "Oh, I don't have to break you. I'm just enjoying our visit, passing the time while Maddox receives something for me." Killian plays it coy. "Nothing you can find will make me talk." "We will see about that? Does the name Devin mean anything to you?" I smiled while twisting the sheers in my hand for extra dramatic effect. All the colour drains from Bonnie's face, but she remains calm and emotionless.

It drowns. Bad joke, Kasey. Ok. Ok. I'll shut up. "Please, baby?" I heard Bonny purr. I heard Harry groan and obviously give into his girlfriend. Amazing friends I have! "Okay." He said pulling her closer and kissing her neck. Bonny being Bonny pulled away as a cruel bitch she is and ran towards me. "Yay! Mean girls!" She yelled before tripping over the carpet and falling on me. Together we landed om the ground and fell into a fit of giggles. Well... She was giggling. My laugh was more like a Llama being fucked in the a- Nevermind. Gross.

"Come meet the dead." "Charming," one of the strangers said, grinning crookedly. Nova gestured to them. "This is Wren and Milo. Wren's the one who looks like she could kill a man with her pinky. Milo's the one who'd help bury the body." Wren waved with two fingers, her nails black and sharp-looking. "Don’t believe everything she says. I’d use my whole hand." Milo, a boy with a mess of dark curls and a permanent half-smile, nodded. "I only help with bodies if snacks are involved."