Funny Condom Sayings

So there I was, stuck in this dark Victorian mansion for a whole freaking century, thinking I'd never get out. Then, out of nowhere, these two gorgeous girls swoop in and rescue me! I couldn't believe it, and we instantly hit it off. They showed me a whole new world I'd only ever imagined, and I was all about living a normal human life.   But just when I thought things were looking up, this vampire named Vivaldi pops up out of thin air, grinning like a possessed Jack-o'-lantern. I mean, a name like Vivaldi is bound to give you the creeps, right? He claimed I had some ancient first blood running through my veins and demanded that I sign some crazy blood contract with him—the kind of deal that comes with some seriously freaky consequences.   Vivaldi was trying to sell me the idea that this blood contract was his only lifeline, the only way to save his skin from something worse than death. But I wasn't some clueless newborn vamp; I knew better than to just dive into something as serious as a blood contract. Those things come with some heavy consequences, and I wasn't about to sign up for that without a second thought.   The problem was, if I didn't go along with his messed-up plan, he promised to make my friends' lives a living hell—the very people I'd started to care about. I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. If I decided to team up with Vivaldi, I'd be keeping him around, which is far from ideal. But if I refused, my friends and the whole town of Shadowvale would be in serious danger.    It felt like I was caught in this impossible situation, like I was trying to choose between two rotten apples.

Sa gitna ng masalimuot na buhay sa Maynila, si Heart Cruz, isang dedicated nurse, ay nagkakaroon ng muling pagkikita kasama ang kanyang mga kaibigan mula pagkabata, sina Althea, Angie, at Janith. Isang araw, habang abala sa kanyang duty sa isang pribadong hospital, nakatagpo siya ng hindi inaasahang insidente kay Brandon Flores, isang mayamang businessman at may-ari ng hotel at beach resort at isang Multi-Billionare. Ang isang simpleng banggaan ay nagresulta sa isang hindi kanais-nais na pagkakahawakan na nagpasiklab ng galit ni Heart. Habang ang kanyang kaibigan na si Janith ay nalalapit na sa panganganak, nagiging masalimuot ang sitwasyon nang magtagpo muli ang kanilang mga landas. Sa gitna ng emosyon at tensyon, kailangang harapin ni Heart ang kanyang galit at ang mga hindi inaasahang damdamin kay Brandon, na tila may mas malalim na ugat sa kanyang galit at ang kanyang asal na para dito. Ano kaya mangyari sa dalawa habang tinatahak ang hamon ng kanilang nakaraan at kasalukuyan? May pag-ibig ba kayang mabubuo sa kanilang alitan. Ano kayang kwentong sa pagkakaibigan? May pag-ibig pa kayang bumuo sa kanilang wasak na puso? At pagtuklas sa tunay na pagkatao sa kabila ng mga pagsubok at hamon sa buhay? "PAHIRAM NG ISANG GABI (BOOK #1)

She's a young Christian of 24yrs who tragically lost her father at 10yrs. She's ambitious that's why she immigrated to America. Her ambitiousness doesn't only push her to immigrated, it also made her work for Declan. She's brave, innocent, sensitive, ambitious and focus that's why when confronted with a choice between her siblings financial safety and her believes she's lost monumentally. He's perfect, sexy as hell, Richer than the word rich and arrogant than the devil himself, with all this perfection in appearance he still has some vacuum, he isn't perfect as he needs others to believe, Declan was diagnosticated with erectile dyfunctioning at a very young age. What will happen when two opposite individuals meet? can two site of a coin really meet? How will they survive without intercourse?

Kita tidak pernah tahu kemana takdir akan membawa kita. Yang pasti, takdir akan mendekatkan kita dengan jodoh kita. Andini Khumaira, seorang gadis yang bercita-cita ingin menjadi Tahfiz Qur'an. Namun, tekadnya mulai diuji ketika cinta terhadap lawan jenis mulai bersemi di hatinya. Memilih dan memilah kumbang yang datang dan pergi. Akankan Dini mempertahankan cita-citanya? Atau malah terbuai dengan manisnya cinta?

Angkasa kembali setelah sekian tahun meninggalkan Ashlesha dengan mengambil posisi guru di sekolah gadisnya. Setelah berjuang mengobati sendiri sakit hatinya dan dengan kehadiran seorang Revaldo di sisinya, Ashlesha sendiri tidak yakin untuk lantas menerima ajakan menikah Angkasa.

The childs gone. The dreams gone. I've become comfortably numb Valentina Lombardi has been through a lifetime of trauma throughout her years. From her absentee, abusive father who's neglected her all her life to her even more abusive legal guardian who's been the one to traumatize her. A trip to what she sees as her second bedroom, the police station, takes a turn of events with a piece of information she receives that changes everything. Zane Marino, leader of the Marino mafia, and Raul Romano, one of his top men. Dead. The two men who've destroyed her are now out of her life, a miracle to her. Now, she's being thrown into the custody of her eight older brothers she never knew she had. Her biological family. Not to mention, her eldest brother who's now her legal guardian, also happens to be the leader of the Sicilian mafia. Her "father's" pure enemy. What happens when she has to learn to deal with the infamous, ruthless Lombardi brothers, the ones she was raised to hate? Marino through adoption and Lombardi by blood. A dangerous mix. Throw trauma, boys, secrets, and utter chaos into the mix. How will it all play out when her inner demon's come to the surface, making everything unravel right under her two feet?

Belle Stefano, a transmigrator who comes from another world. She woke up one day on a different body. She lives her life leisurely not until she finds out that she’s inside the comic that she’s read and that she is the antagonist who will meet her end tragically by the male lead. Luke Andres Hendrick is cold and heartless. He doesn’t care about the people around him except when she finds Georjia Norjia and falls in love with her at first sight. Belle did her best to not get in the way of the male and female lead of the comic book but she slowly falls in love with the male lead. Will she confess her love for him or she will run away without telling the male lead how she feels?

Katie finds herself about to go to jail for something she didn't do. When gorgeous Samantha saves her and makes her an incredible offer. Katie has no idea of the dangerous game they are playing

" I know I love him but i can't tolerate him stepping on my pride!" Clarita shouted with disgust as she threw her school bag away!. Clarita, a high Schooler who had never fall in love with anyone in her eighteen years of life finally fell in love with their school hunk. she was a beauty but still a lower class to the high school hunk, Nelson. Nelson was an extremely cold type and he would hardly smile to anyone... in fact, his smile was rarer than golds!. Things fell apart for Clarita and she had to live with Nelson's parents for a while and that was when She finally realized how much she truly loved Nelson. Love Cramps is about the silly heart of Clarita and the hidden warm heart of Nelson!.

Punya tetangga absurd yang nyebelin banget? Tahan apa enggak, ya? Tenang, kami bakalan tetap bisa berteman, kok. Kita kerjain aja sekalian!