Funny Condom Sayings

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

A young guy keeps getting into trouble in very funny and unfortunate ways. He wrecked havocs on people too, mistakenly. He hallucinated and had great fantasies about people to brighten up his hearers. Afterwards, he came back to his mundane reality.

"Suck my nipples now! Disobey me and face the consequences!" Mr. Evidence, known as the condom CEO ordered as Rose ran out of words. She knew she was indeed helpless. "Even on his sick bed, he still wants to satisfy his sexual urge? Gosh!" Said David as he shook his head in disbelief. The name of the man on the sick bed was Mr. Evidence. A young billionaire of 25 years of age whose identity was popularly known to be called the condom CEO. He own a huge condom company which favoured only women in the terms of job opportunities. He had the opportunity to live the kind of lifestyle he ever wanted but something happened!!!

Kiara Tennyson. It has always been her dream to go to the US. After her parent's death, an opportunity presents itself when she gets a chance to go there as an exchange student. She is funny, crazy, very loving, and has read too many books to know that she will find new friends, get into a fight on the first day of school with the queen bee and later teach her a lesson, and maybe find love. Reed Scott. Your typical cliche bad boy. His first love broke his heart causing him to change from loving to becoming cold. What do you think will happen when a bubbly and crazy person comes barging into his life and tries to change his cold demeanour? Why don't you read and find out? Join Kiara and be mistaken for a dog sitter, get into fights, prank the queen bee, fall on your butt in front of your new best friend, prank the whole school, take the bad boy shopping and most importantly find love abroad.

The New Year was just around the corner. While I was doing a thorough cleaning, I stumbled upon something beneath the couch. It was a damp, used condom, and it still had a faint lipstick stain on the edge. One thing I was sure of was that I didn't use this brand, but the lipstick color? It matched perfectly with my girlfriend Lindsey Stirling's.

Paano kung isang araw ay may isang estranghero na bigla na lamang mag-alok sa iyo ng kasal? Handa ka bang tanggapin ang mapusok na alok nito, o mas pipiliin mong tanggihan? Halina't tunghayan at alamin kung papaano mababago ang buhay ni Gelay De Castro sa alok ni Hadi Sandoval? *** Lumaki na hirap sa buhay ang dalagang si Gelay, simula nang pumanaw ang kanyang ama ay siya na rin ang umako sa responsibilidad na naiwan nito sa kanilang pamilya. Bukod sa pagiging panganay na anak ay ginampanan na rin niya ang pagiging Padre de pamilya para sa kanyang Nanay Myrna at dalawang nakababata pang kapatid. Wala siyang pinipiling pasukan na trabaho, basta ba't legal at marangal ay wala iyong problema sa kanya. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, nakilala niya si Hadi Sandoval—ang lalaking malamig pa sa yelo kung makitungo sa kapwa tao. Sa hindi malamang dahilan, inis para sa isa't-isa agad ang kanilang naramdaman simula noong unang magkita. They also both wish not to see each other anymore…ngunit tunay na mapaglaro nga naman ang tadhana. Dahil itinakda ng pagkakataon na muli silang magkita… sa pagkakataon ito ay inalok siya ng kasal ng Binata. A marriage for inconvenience. Pakakasal siya kay Hadi, kapalit ng malaking halaga. Tanggapin kaya ni Gelay ang alok na maging Cinderella for Rent?

Akibat salah masuk kamar, mahkota berharga Kinara Ailani pun terenggut. Sialnya, laki-laki itu adalah Mahendra, bosnya di kantor. Kinara tak berani untuk menuntut karena status sosial mereka. Bahkan dia berniat melupakan kejadian itu dan menghindari Mahendra Namun, kejadian demi kejadian malah semakin mendekatkannya dengan Mahendra. Apakah akhirnya Kinara mendapatkan keadilan, ataukah terpaksa menunggu cinta sejatinya?

หมิว นักศึกษาสาวที่เสียชีวิตอย่างไม่คาดคิด จนวิญญาณทะลุมิติแห่งกาลเวลา ไปอยู่ในร่างขององค์หญิงวิปลาส ชีวิตในยุคที่ไม่เหมือนเดิมจะเป็นอย่างไรมาลุ้น

“The most important clause in our marriage contract is that we are not to have children,” my husband stared at me closely, fire burning in his eyes. “This is supposed to be a five-year contract, five year and that’s it,” he continued, “I thought we agreed on that. No children to tie us down, then we part ways.” “I know that, and I completely agree!” Then he took every single condom out of the nightstand. He inspected them carefully, tossing each one aggressively on the bed as he did so. They were all the same. Full of tiny holes. “Then how do you explain that?” he snarled, his voice dripping with accusation.