Funny Condom Sayings

Zane is a werewolf and his planet was destroyed by vampires. His mother sent him to Earth, the planet of humans, just before their planet was destroyed. Zane was a young werewolf and he didn't know how to survive on his own, in a planet of humans, but then, he found an orphanage and his life changes

Cassandra Johnson is Pixie. Pixie is Cassandra Johnson. She's the same girl who's leading two extremely different lives. Nobody would suspect the school's nerd as Pixie. 'Cause Pixie's a street fighter badass and the nerd does not have a single badass bone in her body. The chances of people discovering this peculiar secret is close to none but of course this is where fate inserts the certified new boy into the equation and makes an exception for him. Warning: heavy flow of profanities ahead. - and tears - or so I've heard.

A self-proclaimed strong independent woman in her 30's finds herself single and lonely. She has a good friend who is stuck in his past. Together, they will try to battle their emotions as life partners. Will marrying a friend without a feeling bring them the happiness they've always wanted?

Belle Stefano, a transmigrator who comes from another world. She woke up one day on a different body. She lives her life leisurely not until she finds out that she’s inside the comic that she’s read and that she is the antagonist who will meet her end tragically by the male lead. Luke Andres Hendrick is cold and heartless. He doesn’t care about the people around him except when she finds Georjia Norjia and falls in love with her at first sight. Belle did her best to not get in the way of the male and female lead of the comic book but she slowly falls in love with the male lead. Will she confess her love for him or she will run away without telling the male lead how she feels?

Tara isn't your everyday beauty shit she wasn't a size 0 runway model, she was curvey thick and flawless nonetheless. It took her years to see that in herself after going through the ups and downs of being tossed through the foster system she had all but lost her faith in herself. This is why she chooses to become an advocate for foster kids like her. When she first launched her UFCP program she had only one private supporter. Now here she was at a huge charity banquet representing her program publicly and the program would now be recognized nationally. It was like a dream come true especially when she runs into the investor who happens to be an old friend from the foster system who was in the same house as her. Giovanni Berlusconi, he had glowed up since she last saw him all those years ago and he apparently felt the same about her. The only problem was he was a mafia king pin and Tara might have known much about the mob, but she sure as hell knew she wanted no parts of it. Especially after two of her colleagues end up dead in a mysterious car crash after questioning Gio's family connections to the recent spike in missing persons cases in the city. Tara had tried to blow him off politely but Gio wasn't having it. Stopping by her office unannounced. Tara was desperate to avoid the mob boss at all cost that is until she accidentally stumbles on to a private family meeting and witnesses him killing someone. Now she has only two choices marry the very man she fears or die.

A modern man from Earth, Caden, woke up and discovered he became a cat! Not only that, he had woken up to a world that can only be found in fantasy stories! What's even more incomprehensible is that he had found himself a mysterious owner! His owner likes to threaten him, likes to make him remember all the goodness he has done for him, likes to touch him here and there---! He is truly pitiful. ----- Evan: I have a cat. My cat likes to stick his tongue out to me, so I pulled it. My cat likes to cry and is very timid but he can kick ass. I love my cat.

Andreanna Gutierrez, or simply Andrea is a nerdy delivery girl who, in one stormy night in a secluded area accidentally bumped over the heir to an enormous business empire, the Jackson Corporation. The heir is Allen Miguel Jackson, who is known as the most elite, fine-looking, eligible bachelor and a cold-hearted person. He asked Andrea to take responsibility to what she did and therefore, she was compulsory to bring him at her rented place and look after him for a while until he is fully recovered. Over time, despite of Andrea's lack of good looks and outdated sense of fashion, Miguel learned to acknowledge her capabilities and innate compassion that he agreed for her to become his personal assistant. Soon after, the two souls became close friends until Andrea admits to herself that she's deeply in love with her boss. How will Andrea win the indescribable heart of someone who's way out of her league? Is it possible that a wealthy, powerful, and good-looking guy like Miguel will eventually fall in love with her nerdy appearance? Or will he hate her after knowing her secrets? Will a mighty CEO and a mere nerdy personal assistant could have a happily ever after?

Normal na buhay ang kinagisnan ni Joel o mas kilala bilang si Wella sa Barangay Maligaya—ang baklang harot subalit hindi basta mahahablot. Iisa lang kasi ang ang tininibok ng kaniyang imaginary merlat. Iyon ay walang iba kundi si Hans, ang ultimate hunk basketball player tuwing liga sa kanilang baranggay.Subalit hanggang tingin na lang talaga siya not until makilala niya si Beki-God mother na nagbigay sa kaniya ng kahilingang gawin siyang babae. Natupad naman iyon at nahumaling nga sa kagandahan niya si Hans. Sino ba naman siya para tumanggi? Nagpakilala siya sa binata bilang si Cindy at niligawan siya ng binata. Subalit hanggang kailan niya itatago ang katotohanan sa lalaking nagugustuhan?

"Why do you hate me so much, Maan" she asked hiccupping, hitting his chest. "I never said that" he said holding her hands. ____________________________________ "So, my Ita, how does it feels to be Mrs. Dutta," he asked holding her from behind while making eye contact in the mirror. "Best feeling in this world, Mr. Dutta" she replied kissing his cheek. ____________________________________ "I BLOODY ASKED YOU TO DO ONE THING BUT YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!" he shouted slamming the wooden desk with his fists. "I am sorry, sir" she replied with tears welling up in her eyes. ____________________________________ "I will kill that man if I see him near you again" he said dangerously running his index finger from her forehead to neck. "W...why" she asked stammering. "Because you are mine"...

Lucille is beautiful, smart, kind, and rich. Unfortunately, she is also brokenhearted. Having her heart and whole life shattered to pieces, she vows never to fall in love again. But when love knocks on her door once more, in the form of two drop dead, panty-melting gorgeous men, Lucille decides that this time, she will be the ultimate playgirl. Japer, a playboy, finds it astonishing when a girl did not swoon at the sight of him. More so when she told him she only wants to be friends or if he wants, friends with benefits. What happens when the playboy falls in love and is now the one being played? Boo is a super powerful tycoon. He's rich beyond limits but despite all his power, like his name, he feels like a hollow lifeless ghost. A girl changes all this when she makes him see how fun life can be, especially because he has all the money in the world. But can money buy him her love?