Funny Condom Sayings

Constant head splitting headaches, random joint pains,. dizziness and lightheadedness. it was symptoms I know just too well. The blue rose illness. The vile disease that robbed me of my mother. And now I think it's coming for my life too. My name is Ivy and I have the blue rose illness. Funny right? I can't believe I have less than thirty days to live. ************ Prince Emiliano "You are sick? Since when?" "I am sorry." "Keep that for later—I will never give you the permission to leave me. You can never leave me. Do you understand Ivy? Don't you dare."

"Limits, Charli. I'm going to f**k you like you've never been f**ked. Tell me now if I've crossed that limit. Tell me now if you don't want this." Words didn't form; instead, I pushed my ass backwards until it brushed against his erection. Sometime during his speech he'd freed it from the confines of his slacks. "Last chance, Charli." "Please." My word was barely audible. He tugged my hair again. "What did you say?" "Please, Nox. I want you. Take me." He didn't need to be sure I was ready. The evidence glistened under the awful fluorescent lights. The sound of the condom package tearing was soon replaced by my whimper as he plunged... *** One Week. No Last Names. No Regrets. Alexandria "Charli" Collins is done playing the perfect Southern heiress. At an exclusive California resort, she meets Nox Demetri—a billionaire as enigmatic as he is irresistible. When he boldly claims her as his "wife" to ward off an unwanted admirer, their explosive chemistry ignites a no-strings affair that quickly spirals beyond either of their control. But Nox is hiding dangerous secrets, and Charli's past won't stay buried. As their week of passion draws to a close, reality comes crashing in. Can a temporary escape survive the real world—or will the truth destroy them both?

Synopsis - On the night when the young warrior Raen is born, strange things happen in the Free East: A prince dies and the great oracle of Tulga sends a mysterious prophecy. A long journey begins. Will the young Raen manage to take the fate of his people in hand against the dark power of the priests and councilors? Raen's journey takes him to the legendary city of Borgossa, where he is to be trained at the War Academy. There he meets the funny Manoen, a compatriot, and they become friends. But Manoen also keeps a dark secret. When Raen finds out, the terrible machinations of the priests of his country are revealed to him. Together with his friend he returns to Hy to overthrow the priestly caste. War is inevitable.

Trace a.k.a The Orgy King. The Panty Ripper. His sworn brother called him funny names but he knows what he is. A spawn by Satan. Born to be his father's trouble. He fuck around like a rabbit. Party here and there. But his fave sport will always involve dark and bad. A walking sin. Trace will soon realize that karma really is a bitch*. Organization. Friendship. Brotherhood. Trace Dimagiba might be the most hateful man in FOEDUS CORP., but he’ll soon realize that even the devil himself deserves redemption. In the form of the feisty and beautiful woman who sauntered into his life– Chloe. His light and his end game.

They say memories stored in our brain could be sometimes forgotten, but then the heart does not forget. Because our heart always remember, the heart recognizes our beloved when our brain couldn't. Years after they lost contact with each other, Zhanaia encountered Dion again on the same place where they met. And funny how destiny works, they met again just like how they first met, accidentally bumping with each other. Zhanaia's heart was filled with joy, she couldn't contain her happiness and jumped to hug Dion, not wanting to let him go again. But all the hope in her shattered when Dion pulled away from her embrace and asked her, "I'm sorry, miss, but... who are you?"

This is the tale of how the sexist remark, "Men are scum," was delivered to me on a scalding plate! Guess what? It all started with a birthday surprise party for my boss's fiance, but I was slapped with horror when I saw my boyfriend of two years being kissed by my boss with an engagement ring around both their fingers. Turned out I had been the side chick for two bloody years! Funny enough, I wasn't served a heart break alone, my boss had also been toying with the emotions of Cole McPherson, and together we swore to take revenge. Would I still scream, "Men are slime!" at the conclusion, or will my beliefs alter in the process of seeking revenge alongside Cole?

Is it wrong to take revenge to someone who abused you? Beatryze is the serious type girl who keeps on ignoring all of the red flags that his boyfriend, Clyde, shows. She loves Clyde so much to the point that even if his boyfriend will hurt her physically or emotionally, she'll choose to stay. Everything was going fine. She's bearing all of the pain that Clyde caused her but not until one day, Tryze bursted out because she found out Clyde's deepest secret. She wanted to make Clyde suffer. So she made a move. She'll destroy him, using the way that she knows; through the help of her friends.

Marco Gabriel is the cold-hearted and arrogant CEO of Marc's Lux company, a man who is tormented by his past. When he hires Patricia as his personal secretary, he sees her as a sweet, innocent girl who is no threat to him or his organization. But little does he know that she is in fact a survivor- a ruthless, dark-hearted agent who will do anything to get revenge. Patricia may well be able to seduce her way to his heart but will the cost be too great ? The Seducing art of Patricia is a gripping and a compulsive thriller that will keep you up reading half the night and stay with you long after the final page is turned.

In the is novel you will see how the ultimate betrayal of the ones closest to you can either shape your existence or break your spirit and self resolve.

Tough, self-willed, silly and not so awkward. Audrey is a young college student is determined to pass through college with good grades. No drama, no complications. With her best friends in the same college, she couldn't have been more happier. It was like having her safe circle around. Everything was going according to plan till Pretty boy, basketballer, Enzo Santana walks in. He's bold, effortlessly cool, Handsome to the core, with a panty dropping smile and a voice that could make any lady wet without having to try. Now here's the deal, he wants her to tutor him and she doesn't want any boy drama. How long will she be able to resist his charms and act oblivious to him. Because there's one thing about Enzo, what he wants, he gets. And as for her, it will be a cold day in hell before she gets her heart broken. If you love humor, sarcasm, romance, friendship and eternal war against goofiness, then this is definitely the book for you.