Funny Dirty Quotes

"Marry me for three years. Once Leah is back, we’ll divorce, and I’ll give you ten million dollars." The words were a cold offer, spoken so close to her that she could barely breathe. Alexander King—ruthless, untouchable, looks to die for and heir to the King empire—has never been the kind to beg. But when his first love, Leah, disappears, he makes a deal with Athena Dawson, the orphan girl his family has sponsored for years. Three years of marriage to protect the position of wife for Leah. A contract. And a promise of millions. But Athena doesn’t want his money. She wants him. She agrees, hoping that in those three years, she can make him love her—not as deeply as he loved Leah, but just enough to make him keep her by his side. And for a while, it almost seems possible. He’s sweet. Protective. Almost hers. Until Leah returns. Just like that, the dream shatters. The warmth disappears. And the man who once held her so gently turns cold, placing divorce papers in her hands as a cruel reminder of the deal they made. Their dirty little secret. But what if Athena isn’t the same girl who agreed to the contract? And what if, for the first time in his life, Alexander King realizes he made a mistake?

Reese: I know all too well the sting of heartbreak and rejection. Not a lot of men can handle a woman of my stature. I only hope that love is out there. When I agreed to meet up with my Frost cousins and their kids for a Christmas event after another breakup, I didn't expect sparks to fly with their friend Don Hunter. Don: I was surprised to be invited by my coworker Darius Frost to join his family and friends at the holiday lights at the park. It's not like I have family in the area, and I'm self-aware enough to know I wouldn't have some hot date. So why is the gorgeous Reese Nikolaidis giving me the time of day? It has to be a joke because she is out of my league. This is a standalone story but is the four book in the Ravenwood series. Book 1 - The Princess of Ravenwood Book 2 - Chasing Kitsune Book 3 - Expect The Unexpected Book 4 - Out Of My League Book 5 - Man's Best Wingman

When Elizabeth Walter gets fired from work, getting home to meet her boyfriend molded to the thighs of another lady, screaming her brains out against the wall, all hell, let's loose. Her once upon a fairytale life is shattered. Having loads of loans to pay back, Elizabeth's once 'alright' life becomes a disaster until she met him. The one whose name strikes fear into the heart of others Zane Creed. A workaholic with no social life, he needs a date for a business dinner. She needs the money for the next day. Just when Elizabeth's love life gets trampled on, A tall manly blue-eyed demon comes crashing in, making Elizabeth cream her thongs with just a look. Elizabeth might just be getting more than she bargained for when she becomes 'The Escort.'

Vivian Kane is a ghost in the digital underworld, slipping into Alessandro Costello’s world like she’s always been there. She lifts his wallet with a swipe of her fingers, and just like that, she’s not only hacked his systems—she’s hacked his life. Alessandro Costello doesn’t do forgiveness. She’s made it personal, and now he’s out for blood. He’s ready to turn her life into a living nightmare, using every dirty trick he knows to make her regret ever crossing him. What starts as a simple theft quickly spirals into something far darker. They’re trapped in a high-stakes game of cat and mouse, where every touch and taunt turns up the heat until it’s a steamy, no-holds-barred battle of lust and dirty games. In this twisted mind-fuck, trust is a luxury neither can afford.

“She's rich, he's a bad boy, a burglar. She's submissive, he's tractable. She's caged, he's wild. She yearns for freedom, his life is adventurous. As the tale says "Opposite attracts!" But then there's this rich man who's overly obsessed with the innocent heiress. A sweet, romantic, funny story filled with lots of action and love but with dark side, abuse and Dark Romance.” 18+ Hot Steamy scenes!

Book I of the 'His' series. What does Alexandria do when the landlord decides to increase the rent? She looks for a roommate!! Mason King just moved to town and he's looking for an apartment. He comes across Alexandria's request for a roommate. He thought she was just a quiet,shy,nerdy girl. But boy was he wrong!

Blaire Summers doesn't do serious, but she soon finds herself in a very serious situation. One that will deem her homeless if she doesn't find a job that actually pays. When she lands an interview at ALPHA INC, she expects the boot after she notices the line in tow for the job. She couldn't be more wrong. Luther Reed is more than just the CEO, he's ALPHA of the Legend Pack. He's ruthless, cunning, and never found his mate, which doesn't bother him in the least. Not having a mate means he doesn't have a weakness. Until Blaire stumbles into his office for an interview, and he knows instantly she's his mate. The kicker is that she's human, and has no idea werewolves exist. It's easy to turn to the next interviewee, and forget her. Until he sees Axel Hanes, the dirty Lycan tycoon, talking to her outside of his office window. That forces the hair on his neck to stand, and he hires Blaire, which causes a downward spiral of events that break Luther's guard, and forces him into situations that will cost him his position, and a war with the Lycans he didn't see coming.

"Your husband is so wild in bed!" On the eve of my childbirth, I received a provocative video from my husband's mistress, flaunting their affair.In the video, my supposedly loyal husband, Max Jennings, and his mistress were entangled in a hotel bed, exchanging dirty talk and engaging in various sexual positions.The shock of it all triggered premature labor, resulting in a stillbirth that left me utterly devastated.Max, consumed by guilt, fell to his knees before me, tears streaming down his face. Desperately, he begged for my forgiveness. Little did he know, I had already uncovered all his schemes - the secret transfer of his assets, the signing of substantial life insurance policies, and the true cause of our baby's tragic demise.I clung to him, sobbing uncontrollably, like a typical housewife shattered by her husband's betrayal.But in the depths of my heart, a grim thought emerged: "Max, since you won't agree to a divorce, it seems that becoming a widow is my only way out."During this tumultuous period in my life, I met Luke Walker.The people in our town describe Luke as an angel who has fallen to Earth—an honorable and composed beacon of light. Yet, somehow, he took an interest in me—a woman scorned and deemed hopeless after a failed second marriage.No one understands the truth. It was Luke who relentlessly pursued me, drawing me deeper into a complex relationship!

Devin King was my first—well, everything. They say you never forget your first. Whoever said that was right because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him out of my head or my heart. I foolishly thought my heart wouldn’t miss what it couldn’t see, but I was wrong because I never forgot, not for one moment. You’re not supposed to kiss your best friend. You’re not supposed to give your virginities to one another, either—but we did. We were kids, teenagers, full of hormones and mixed emotions, but it felt right. He was the first boy to kiss me, the first boy to touch me and taste me in a way only a lover would. “Say you want to be mine….” He whispered while I shook in his arms. And I did. And then he wrecked me. After I trusted him and gave myself to him, he disappeared, left me in my , the scent of him still lingering on my skin, the taste of his kiss still fresh on my lips. He left me after the amazing night we shared after we became one another’s and disappeared without a word. Until one day ten years later he pops up like a rash as the newly appointed CEO of our firm. Was I shocked to see him standing in the office after a decade? Yes. Did I almost faint? Hell yes. My heart may have melted a little when he smiled right at me, but he wouldn’t ever know that—because I hated him. But here I am, the VP of an established publication firm standing in the CEO’s office handcuffed to the pompous face. Why are we handcuffed you ask? Well, that's a funny story...

There’s nothing sexier than a hot jock any day of the week even if you don’t care for sports. Think sizzling dirty sweat and hard muscle that melts ice instantly. These jocks are ready to meet their match and score for life. Come along for the ride. Find a nice cool spot and bring plenty of iced water. Football, baseball, rugby, and tennis. There’s no end to dirty sex between clean sheets. Completion is created by Holly S. Roberts/D’Elen McClain, an EGlobal Creative Publishing signed author.