Funny Fat Jokes

Lucas sat at the far end of the bar he could be seen drinking his sorrows away, as he sat there drinking he kept on thinking of all the terrible things Hazel did to him, he still found it hard to believe that his girlfriend he had planned so long to propose to was cheating on him with another man ........

Oladele Anjola is an 100lvl student of Computer Science who just got admitted into Federal University of Technology, otherwise known as FUTA. She's extremely reserved and a big introvert. Although beautiful and intelligent, she has zero social skills. Adeleke Kolawole is your typical one of the most popular guys at FUTA. Cute, tall, handsome and brilliant and has more than half of the female population running after him. But Kola is the second definition of being snubbish and icy. He barely has friends and keeps to himself. Jola is totally smitten by Kola on their meeting and for the first time in Kola's life, he has a girl in his head. No matter how hard he tries to get her out of his head, she wouldn't budge, its not like he wanted her out of his head though. And so, an interesting love story starts. What will happen when Jola discovers that her very first friend in FUTA, Fisayo also has a huge crush on Kola. Will she give him up for friendship or give up her friendship for Kola. Its truly an hard decision, but sometimes before anyone else, we should come first.

Bellatrix Sinclair, an 18-year-old weapons prodigy that despises werewolves for destroying her family has been secretly planning to join the human rebellion. However, she is forced into the Mate Selection Process and matched with Lazarus De Loughrey, the ruthless Werewolf King obsessed with claiming her. He shouldn't want her and she should hate him but they cannot resist each other. It's a twisted connection, entirely physical because all I am is his slave. My heart should belong to my best friend Emmett, a human. Atleast the guilt of betrayal wouldn't be eating away at my insides. ___________________________ “Yes please.” She begs. “Then fucking let me in.” I growled, this fury exploding with vengeance. I wanted to destroy her pussy. It was maddening, it was sickening, it was barbaric. But I never claimed to be saint. “Here that baby, that’s the sound of your greedy pussy sucking on my cock. Give me more, drench me.” “Lazarus.” She moans painfully, “Please let me come.” I’m doused in gasoline and set alight, sweat coats my skin as I pound into her faster and harder. I’m definitely hurting her, “Wanna come?” I rasped, “Not until I say so.” Pressing my lips onto hers, pushing my tongue into her mouth until I feel the sweetness of hers. The kiss is sloppy and filthy. She cries as I drive my cock into her, the intensity too much to handle, sweet tears sliding onto her cheeks. “Fuck yes.” I smile sadistically, licking her tears. “Cry for me Ma Cherie.” “Please, please let me come My King.” She pleads. “Say it again.” Lightening shooting down my spine as she begged, “My King, please let me come. I’ll be good.” I chuckled, “Try your luck to kill me Ma Cherie, I dare you.”

"I guess you are ready for round two..." He chuckled in my ear in a husky voice.    His voice made a shiver run down my spine, and I moaned while placing my hand on his bare, hard-toned chest.    I tried to pull him to me, but he chuckled and went away, "No... Don't flatter yourself thinking that I will go for another round with you. It was a one-time thing between us."    "What are you saying? We are mates..."    "I don't fall for weak females who can't even shift into her wolf... We are NOTHING."    No...This can't be possible...He can't just leave me after taking me? After taking the only thing and hope I had in me...My virginity and...Mate bond...    My clothes were thrown at my face with an evil smirk on his face, "Get dressed and get out as soon as you can... I have more people waiting for me." ******************   A werewolf with no wolf was considered a disgrace to their kind, and Hazel was one of them. Betrayed by her community and mate, she moved to the city to start a new life but she didn't know that one night stand with her alpha will change her life for once and all.    Alone, hurt, and Pregnant... Hazel tries to build her new life but the announced arrival of her mate in her life again leaves her baffled.    He wants her again but this time, as his contracted wife.    Liam had seen so many women that he doesn't remember Hazel being his mate and approached her to be his contracted wife. Filled with anger and hurt, will Hazel accept his proposal or turn him down? Is Liam again playing with her to get the baby, or does he not know her for real? 

An Alpha cursed to be alone for all eternity and a witch who wields powers untold. Zeke is desperate to break the curse placed on him at birth and find his mate before he loses his pack while Merlin is desperate to help the man who she is forbidden to love. Brought together under difficult circumstances, each of them must find a way to trust each other amidst the lies and betrayal that surround them. When your family turns their back on you and your friends become your enemies, who can you trust? Sometimes trust, and love, can be found in the most unlikely places.

I'm running from my old life and straight into my new one after discovering my boyfriend in bed with my best friend. It all seems like fate if you believe in that sort of stuff because my future was literally pulling me towards Northumberland. I didn't look back, just got in my car and drove but I soon discovered my new life was going to be a huge change and I wasn't sure if I was ready for it. The thing is, I never knew all the stories about werewolves were real, but it seems like I've just stepped into one of my books and the muscled Alpha, who seems to love my curves, has his eyes fixed on me. However is that because of an age old bond or because he genuinely likes me? My new life is only just starting, and I’m thrown into revenge and an old pack war. With my kidnapping happening at a time of life and death, there’s only one Alpha who can save me.

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?

"what I feel for you is far from pity, fool. Sometimes I hate you for making me feel things I don't want to feel, for making me feel hot when...when...you touch me or when you look at me in that ridiculously sexy way you look at me. You make me sick!" she shouted Tys was looked down upon by his family his whole life due to the circumstances surrounding his birth He didn't know what he truly was and the power he had until he met the beautful but very stubborn, vampire, Hera The love they so desperately avoided was fated to bring them together as a force against a terrible reckoning.

My newlywed husband wants to kill me. He's backing me to the balcony with a knife in his hand. The blade pierces my heart, and he shoves me off a 20-story building. At the same time, I see the tear streaks on his face. He says, "Long time no see, my perfect lover."

Gahala Milan is a fairy who lives in the Enlaja--the home of the fairies. She is a brave and powerful young woman who wanted to protect and guard Enlaja. The werewolves are their enemy and she promised that she will kill all the werewolves she would encounter. Destiny has always its own game, she met Wulan Levin, a werewolf and one of their enemy. She always wanted to kill him but there was something about Wulan that she cannot identify what is it. Until one day, she just woke up falling inlove to that man. But it wasn't that easy, loving him could lead to a disaster. It is forbidden to love an enemy. She is a fairy, and he is a werewolf, what they have is a twisted fate.