Funny Fat Jokes

FORMERLY TAMING THE MAD ALPHA. THIS STORY IS BEING REWRITTEN. "I will do it!" I blurted. His gaze flicked to me, and a devilish smirk twitched a part of his face. His orbs danced with hatred. "Did you say something?" His voice dripped with mockery. I swallowed the rock in my throat and balled my hands into fists. I can do this. "I pledge myself to you, Alpha Blaise. I will give you as many heirs as possible, just as you wish." Cassie whimpered in his grip, her eyes pleading with me not to do something irrational. But I would be the last to watch her suffer because of me. "Let her go. Set her free, please." He let go of Cassie's hand, and she crumpled to the floor, wincing and sobbing silently. Alpha Blaise stalked towards me, and I had to cease my breath to stop his debilitating scent from wafting into my nostrils and muddling my senses. "Be ready and in bed tonight," he whispered in my ear and walked passed me. His words made the hair at the back of my neck stand, and goosebumps blanketed my skin. I do not know how he managed to make me feel these things when he was the man I hated the most. I had paid for my brother's sin for two years. I was a human wolf to top it all. The pack held me hostage, waiting for the Alpha to recover and mete out his punishment on me, but the Alpha surprised everyone when he said his punishment was for me to produce his heirs.

Kahapon lang ay single pa siya. Ngunit ngayong araw na ito, magiging Mrs. Catherine Villanueva na siya. Pakiramdam niya ay nabudol-budol siya ng Daddy niya. Paano siya nitong napapayag makasal sa isang lalaking ni hindi man lang niya minahal. Bakit nga ba siya pumayag sa gustong mangyari ng Daddy niya porke’t iniyakan lang siya nito? Ngunit ang mas lalong nakakasindak, ipapakasal siya nito sa isang lalaking lantaran namang umamin sa kanya na isa itong member ng LGBTQIA community. Feeling tuloy niya, um-order lang ng mapapangasawa niya online ang Daddy niya, may defect pa. May defect dahil lalaki rin ang hilig nito at hindi babae. At no return, no exchange na pala ang kasunduang ito dahil legit ang marriage contract nilang dalawa. Hindi ito isang panaginip lang. Ngunit naisip niyang dahil lalaki rin ang type ng asawa niya, at least ay safe siya kasama nito. Malaya siyang makakapagbihis sa harapan nito at alam niyang kahit anong gawin niya, wala talagang mangyayari sa kanilang dalawa. Pero kung bakla ito bakit may girlfriend ito? At bakit, unti-unti, parang nakakaramdam na siya ng selos sa tuwing makikita niya ito kasama ng girlfriend nito? Hanggang isang araw ay makita niya ang asawa, not just one but two. Namamalikmata lang ba siya or sadyang may kakambal ito? Isang member ng LGBTQIA community na si Anthony. At isang lalaking-lalaki na si Andy. Pero kanino sa dalawang ito ba siya talaga ikinasal?

Irene grows up trying everything within her power to shred herself away from the supernatural world. But she never thought that a little sign of weakness from her would destroy all her years of hard work. Will she ever get over her fear of falling in love?

Turning eighteen wasn't as pleasant for Esmy as it was for other teenagers. Her body was changing, and worse-her foster father was found dead in the woods close by to her house and on his body was her hairband. With only flashes of her memory from the night before, Esmy had no idea what was happening to her, until she met a man who seemed to know about her kind-she felt drawn to him like a magnetic pull, never understanding what a mate bond was. But instead of helping her, Esmy is abandoned and rejected by her mate. Whilst searching for answers, Esmy encountered another man-Killian Rollins, a man whom she also felt an unexplainable bond with but he turns out to be her mate's brother. What happens when Esmy is mated to two half brothers? How will Esmy figure out about her bloodline? Will she be able to overcome the mate bond?

Nomia: Rejected by my first mate because he wanted something better. He wanted a beautiful woman, with wealth, influence and connections. Not a slave who he’s purposely kept too weak to receive her wolf. To not be reminded of me he sold me at the auction. Only to be bought by another alpha to become one of his concubines. Never in my life have I had self determination. Now I have my wolf and I will fight for my freedom. I will take revenge on those who wronged me. The mate who rejected me? I will take his balls and have his head. The mate who wanted me and my wolf to submit to him? I will turn the tables and make them submit to me.

On the first day of work, the company president said that I looked like his long-lost daughter and gave me a salary of 100 thousand dollars, on the condition that I ate together with his wife every weekend. Once my boyfriend heard this, he yelled at me in front of my colleagues, “How could you believe such a cheap lie?! It’s just an excuse for him to pay you for dirty favors! If your mother learned that you got yourself a sugar daddy after graduation, she’d jump off a building!” So, I rejected the president’s offer. Someone told the department manager that my boyfriend and I insulted the president, and he fired us. My boyfriend was really shocked by this. He stayed at my place and loafed around instead of working. When he no longer had any money left, he asked my mother for money. After that, he asked me to sell my organs. After I said no, he knocked me out with chloroform and sent me to an unlicensed clinic. The doctor there did not use the standard procedures, so I died from the pain. When I opened my eyes again, I returned to the day I met the president. This time, I shouted, “Sir, you look just like my father, even though we are not related at all!”

Alina believed that Alpha Caleb was her true mate, but as secrets unravel and the truth comes to light, she discovers that she is merely a pawn in a game of deceit and manipulation. Her dreams shatter when she learns that she was never meant to be Caleb's mate but merely a substitute for his deceased wife. Betrayed by the one she trusted the most, Alina attempts to escape the pack and seek freedom. But as she runs away, Alina's path collides with Prince Alaric, her true mate. Haunted by past betrayals, she struggles to trust him, even if they are fated to be together. Alaric, a royal werewolf prince, had tirelessly searched for his mate, but to no avail. Attending a banquet at Caleb's pack, he unexpectedly finds her, but she is hurt and broken. Despite the odds, Alaric vows to heal her wounds and win her trust, determined to show her the love and devotion she deserves. Will Alina open her heart to the one who has been searching for her all along?

si louisse ay ipinagkasundo sa anak ng kaibigan nang kanyang ama. Subalit Hindi nito kayang pakasal Ang binata.Dahil sa gusto Muna niya makapag- aral at maabot Ang kanyang pangarap. Ngunit sa kanyang pagbabalik.Doon niya mapagtatanto na mahal Pala niya Ang binata. At Ang binata Ang magpapahirap sa kanya.Dahil sa gusto niyang ipadama Ang sakit na kanyang naranasan noong iniwan siya nito.Ngunit sa huli pala ay sila Rin Pala Ang magkakatuluyan NG binata.

"You sound jealous." He pointed out and pushed off the wall. He walked towards me with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You wish." I barely said as my knees went weak with the expectation of him touching me. "Do you want me to fuck your brains out?" Issa huskily asked as he groped me to his hard muscled body. The slit between my legs was heating up. I knew that I had to be very careful about my answer or things were going to take a dirty turn. "In your dreams," I whispered and softly pushed him back. I prayed that he had not caught on to my moment of weakness. "I will be waiting for you in my dreams then." _________ Yulia— a stubborn and rebellious wolf's life is turned upside down when she's forced to move in with her step-uncle, Lycan Issa Frostwood, after her mother's death. As she struggles to come to terms with her new reality, she finds herself tormented by a forbidden desire for the one person she shouldn't— her own uncle. . . But as they both fight to deny their feelings, the danger that surrounds them draws them closer together. Will they succumb to their passion, or will the secrets and lies that haunt their past destroy them forever?

After being abandoned on her wedding day, Delia felt like her entire world had ended and she could never pick up her remaining pieces. Her life changed when she got the job of her dream. **** Katl Delia had everything she wanted; a good-paying job, a flashy life, a happy family, and a best friend that supports her every step of the way. But people she never expected to meet began to surface; Her ex whom she left, her fiance who abandoned her on their big day, and the girl who kissed her back in high school. Her perfect life began to shatter once again as her past haunted her. The question is: With all that is going on in Delia's life, will she be able to find herself before it's too late? Or lose her sanity while trying.