Funny Insulting Names Novels & Stories

It pissed him off. “Listen up, Larson. My name is Carl Mann. Not Eric f**king Cartman. Call me by that name again, and I’ll f**king tear you apart!” Carl snarled angrily. There was nothing he hated more than being referred to by that terribly insulting nickname. Zayn smiled. “Whatever you say, Cartman.”

Sigrid glanced at him resentfully and whined, "You didn't even put in any effort to let me win." George remained serious as he claimed, "I can't. We have a bet, remember?" Sigrid was speechless. Hmph! He was really mean! George laughed and hugged her in an attempt to appease her anger, "You little fool." Sigrid was not going to fall for it. She frowned in a fit of anger, "I'm pretty smart, mind you. I'm not silly! You've been giving me pretty insulting nicknames recently, like pig or fool. I'll get angry!"

"What? Not my fault you're dumb and you're bringing a diary into your bag at school. You know everyone hated you so it should be you keeping one eye open for your haters." "As if you aren't hated by everyone as well? Illegitimate daughter of the senator. Home wrecker and a shame to the well respected conservative family!" I chuckled hearing his classic and signature insult to me for a very long time. And then I observed myself... Before, I'd instantly flame up once I hear that from him. And most likely, I'd still have the very same reaction if I hear that from someone else. But it's him. And somehow, that insult has watered down to an inside joke between us two.

Alvara said. “ What did you just call me?” Hudson asked. “ A nincompoop, have a complaint about that?” Alvara asked. “ How can I, dork” Hudson replied and Alvara glared at him. “ Dingbat” She spat. “ Dunce “ Hudson snapped. “ Dipstick” Alvara snapped back. “ Galah” “ Fuckwit” “ Twat” “ Fuck face” “ Wanker” “ Dipshit” “ Dumb blonde” “ Cretin…….

I know that describing someone as unicorn barf is an insult even if it's colorful, which is why I chose the safe answer and said, "You look like a unicorn...?" And it was at that moment I knew that I fudged (say no to bad words) up. She cried, she bawled, and she sobbed. She gave me a throne I will forever be wearing as she named me the worst cousin in the world. I honestly thought that calling her a unicorn would be a compliment. I never planned to offend her. She told me that she loves unicorns after all. Who would have thought that calling a child an imaginary colorful animal is an insult?

He asked me, smirking at me. “It’s funny how you find it so easy to insult me anytime you want but find it so hard to take an insult yourself. I’ll stop being rude when you stop calling me names, I’ll stop calling you the weird CEO when you stop calling me a gold-digging whore. How’s that?” I asked him with a smile that made him groan and his forehead creased in anger.

Veldrin’s eyebrow slightly raised, his gaze became curious and, at the same time, worried. “Why would I laugh at my Queen’s well-thought-out choice? Unless, of course, you plan to name him something outrageous like...Moonny or Goofy?” I smack his arm lightly, trying not to laugh. “Moonny? Goofy? Really? What kind of mother do you think I am? Those are silly and cruel names for any child to have, let alone a prince!” He chuckled and gently caught my wrist before I could pull away. He drew me closer, too close for me to feel his warm breath on my face.

She said then giggled and I chuckled again. Apart from being pretty and a crazy whore this lady is actually really funny, like hilarious! But she is horrible at giving superhero names. Sexman?! “Is that really the best you can come up with?" “Well I have some other ideas like The Amazing Dick. Pussy Rider! Or Iron Dick..” she said and it was just getting worse as she progressed and I was left flabbergasted. “You know what? I think I like Sexman better. It's enough, thank you," I said and we both laughed.

The_real_prince_charming Ikr? Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha Chloe_awesome_scott Why am I even surprised? That username already hinted at your creativity. Kudos to your originality, dude. The_real_prince_charming Well, what can I say, I was born original. Chloe_awesome_scott FYI, it was sarcasm, Mr. original The_real_prince_charming Welp! I am offended. That username is no joke. It is original.

Melissa said to Henry, who let out a small groan of displeasure, made us laugh. "Are you going to keep calling me that, Melissa?" Henry asked. "Definitely!" Melissa looked at him defiantly, made us burst into laughter. "Yeah, Rick, let's behave so we can get a cute nickname like Fred's," Patrick joked, remembering that Fred was often called prince. "Well, Patrick, if Alexander is a clown and Henry is a manwhore, I don't even want to imagine what else can come out of Mel's head," Rick mocked us. "You better behave indeed," Melissa warned with a smile.