Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

IF HE IS NOT WILLING TO BE HER REAL HUSBAND, WHAT'S THE HARMFUL IN SUDUCING HIM? Charlotte Foster is in love with Morgan, her father's kind business partner who has quickly become her best friend since she met him. Now, at 20, and after several unsuccessful attempts to make Morgan see her as a woman, Charlie is prevented from receiving the inheritance that is rightfully hers, thanks to the schemes of her late father and her terrible stepmother. That's when Morgan surprises her with a proposal: become her husband for a year, so that she can receive what belongs to her. However, for Charlie, money is the least important thing in that situation. Morgan Sullivan struggled for a long time with his repressed feelings for Charlie, the authentic and impulsive daughter of his greedy partner. However, after years of managing to hide his love for her, he sees no other way out than marrying her to protect her from her Machiavellian stepmother. After all, it will only be for a year and everything will be a farce, since he will never touch her. As much as you want. And as much as he is no longer able to hide what he feels for her so well. Realizing that her husband may not be as indifferent to her as he thought, Charlie decides she needs to use that year to seduce her husband and turn their fake marriage into something very real.

32 year old Sophie decided it's time to stop hiding so she filled up an application to be a Sugar Baby. Weekends that used to be filled up with Netflix and comfort food are now changed into a high-paying profession. Well, weekend profession. She's still the busy working mom of 2 during the weekdays. 19 year old Abigail is the average college girl who has a cuckoo aunt. Her proposal has backfired when her aunt decided to use her info in the profile she's setting up at Cupcake, a Sugar Baby website. Let's hope nobody finds out Abigail signed up as a Sugar Baby. Let's pray harder for Aunt Sophie who has the confidence to pull off being an Abigail during the weekends. Cross your fingers! And your legs too, Soph. I mean, Abby. Err, Weekend-Abby. Cross your legs, Weekend-Abby!

Two men came forward pointing thier guns on Daddy and Bhai. Seeing that, Mom screamed loudly in horror. I wanted to scream too but I had lost my voice with fear especially, when that man's dark orbs were dagered on me. "Wh...what do you all want?! Money? Gold? Anything else....take it...just take it! B....but please... please let them go..." Mom cried out as I just stood thier motionless. I didn't even had the strength to comfort her. Fear was coercing in my veins like blood. "Anything?" The man finally spoke. "Yes!" He looked at me with an amused expression. "Then..." He pointed his gun at me as I was hiding behind my mother shaking like a leaf. "... I'll take this one." My eyes widened. We all looked at him horrified and Mom shielded me behind her. "What's wrong? Didn't you just say I can take anything? Then I'll take your daughter." He winked at me. _______________ Rahina, a simple bubbly girl had it all perfect. A perfect loving family, friends and now a handsome, charming, understanding and gentle fiancé. A perfect man every girl dreams off. All she could think about was being his bride soon and spend the rest of her life with him. But what happens when a mysterious handsome man infiltrates her home suddenly and points his gun at her innocent family kidnapping her in bright daylight? Who is this man? What does he wants? Why is he doing this? Will she be able to fight back to protect her dignity and feelings for her fiancé or...fall deeper into his world, his life and end up falling into something much more dangerous of his..... Love! Dive in to find out....

“I know you are a beast but I need exactly one to protect my child because only one beast can fight another, Mr Hemsworth.” Evan Conon Hemsworth blinked slowly while trying to read her mind but He couldn't. Not that He complained because the girl who had been haunting his dreams for years, was finally standing in front of him willingly, at his mercy. “And what can you do for my protection, Miss Perez!” Helena swallowed the thick lump in her throat seeing his gleaming crystal blue eyes looking at her expectedly. “What you wanted from me before! I will sleep with you!” And the man in front of her, who turns the people’s blood cold with his mere gaze, chuckled darkly. “Nah! Having you under me is my left-hand’s job, Helena Perez. What I want from you is more than just one night.” Helena Perez knew she already entered the lion’s den from where it was impossible to return until He allowed her to. But would He even let her ever go? She paid the price for her son's protection by being stuck between two powerful people who could ruin her in the blink of an eye. After getting an ugly betrayal from her ex-fiance, abandonment from her parents, and humiliation from the world, Helena had to live a tough life of being a single mom with a six-year-old son for whose protection she was forced to make a deal with the beast, A billionaire beast! Ps: This is a stand-alone story but if you want to see glimpses of the main characters you can read my other book “Chaotic Temptations” Otherwise you can enjoy the powerful and spicy chemistry of them here itself.

They say love is unpredictable—an unstoppable force that no one truly escapes. Some run toward it. Others run from it. Ted Allen belongs to the latter. A mafia heir like his father, Ted feared love more than bullets. It was messy. Dangerous. Uncontrollable. Just like everything he’s sworn to keep out of his life. But fate has other plans. When his kidnapped niece—his tiny mirror image—escapes her captors, she’s found by two strangers with pasts cloaked in secrets. One of them, Cookie Carlisle, a spirited runaway hiding in Italy from her twisted father, helps the child find her way home. That single act of kindness sets off a chain reaction neither of them could foresee. Because Cookie is about to find herself dragged into a war she knows nothing about… and Ted is about to meet the one woman who shatters every rule he’s built his empire on. She’s wild. Fearless. Addictive. And she’s not stopping until he’s hers. --- “I really doubt you’ll last long here,” River said. “Trust me. I won’t die yet.” Not until the big bad wolf with my name on his soul gets what’s coming to him. He hasn’t seen the last of me.

Roohi Kapoor has a problem. Scratch that—she has two problems. First, she’s hopelessly in love with her best friend, Vihan Singh Rathore, who just happens to be the most frustrating playboy in all of Delhi. He flirts with anything that moves in the skirt—except her. Second, her entire family—overprotective brothers, cousins, and all—won’t stop parading eligible bachelors in front of her. As an MD, her family thinks it's time for her to get married and “settle down.” But how can she think about anyone else when her heart is stuck on Mr. Heartbreaker himself? Enter Ron Kapoor, Roohi’s elder brother and legendary love guru. He could easily make a career of solving other people’s romantic disasters, but helping his little sister get together with a notorious playboy? Even he knows this is a recipe for disaster. Especially, when Ron’s strict rules mean Roohi must follow his plan down to the letter… and his plan involves turning the tables on Vihan's flirtatious ways. Can Roohi break free from the friend zone and finally make Vihan see her as more than just his best friend? Or will she end up heartbroken while her brothers plan her next “perfect” match? One thing’s for sure—things are about to get hilariously complicated.

I was an orphan being adopted by a simple family. My dad was a driver of a very powerful businessman. My mom was one of their maids. She was in fact their lady butler. This family with gazillion bank accounts had an only heir, drop dead gorgeous young billionaire, Albert Michaels. He was always the talk of the news both in mainstream and social media along with either a popular pop star diva or a hubristic socialite with voluptuous body and kittenish voice. I, Samantha Reynolds, one of their servants had been stealthily trailing him since the day that I stepped in their grand top of a kind living room. His stone cold aloof aura as he stared at me everytime he caught me gawking at him made him even more attractive and charming than he already was. Till one rainy night, a magical or should I say disaster happened. Arriving at home late and intoxicated while I was busy wiping the glass tea table, he was almost dropping himself on the cold marble floor. Guiding him towards his room, his heaviness was weighing up my petite body. Till we both dropped on his king sized bed with me under him. His glassy eyes tingling my long time desire. His warm rims made me want to wrap them with mine. Till time stood still as the rain continued pouring engulfing the atmosphere with its coldness while him covering me with his burning libido. As we both reached the top, he called a name, ''Madeline!'' D*mn!

They call it Area Alpha 101. It doesn’t appear on the world map or the satellites, but it’s rumoured to be there. It’s unofficially the largest continent on Earth, but the humans aren’t educated on it. Only the top shots in the governments and monarchies know about it, but have kept it a secret from everyone else. No-one answers questions regarding it. People have been quoted saying that they tried to get in, but they only hit a barrier. This barrier is said to be invisible, yet you can’t see what’s on the other side. For centuries, no-one has been able to get past the barrier, and those who try, come away ‘bewitched’, or so it has been reported. You know what the funny part about this is? There are literally signs that say “NO HUMANS ALLOWED” just a distance away from the ‘barrier’. You can imagine the insane theories that the human civilization has come up with in regards to what they imagine could be behind the barrier. The biggest guess as you yourself would probably guess is aliens; but that’s just it – NO-ONE knows what’s behind the barrier. Except me that is. Or so I thought.

Alexa and Alesa Romano are the only daughters of the Romano family They grew up without their 7 brothers.. After the divorce of their parents. Their mother took the only daughters with her and the sons stayed with their father. Alexa grew up away without her twin in a very prestigious famous private school while alesa stayed with her mom and step-dad Alexa and Alesa was a happy childhood until Alexa left the house to study at the school and Alesa had to stay back. While alexa learned new things and enjoyed her time there with her friends. Alesa was abused by her mother and constantly raped by her stepfather. But one day everything changed. When their. Mother and stepfather died and they move In with their unknown 7 brothers. Alexa is an extroverted girl who can be friends with anyone easily and boss around everyone. She don't care for rules and what people think of her. But has a kind heart and personality and she is everyone's bestfriend .she comes off rude many times.. Alesa is an introverted girl..who find it hard to make friends. People bully her and she can't fight back. She easily get scared and follow all the rules. Had a kind heart and love people unconditionally. The twins are complete opposites of each other.. How will they suddenly Addapt to this change? Make sure to vote and comment on story. And I really hope that you enjoy the story..

*** He fell in love with her the day he lost her *** Getting bullied for years, being rejected by her own mate, and being threatened to be a pack whore, Crystal finally decided to take her sick mom to leave this filthy pack. To cross the border and get rid of the chasing, she had to accept a deal from a stranger. To be a breeder for some rich family. However, the moment she entered the wrong room, her fate pushed her to another dangerous edge. She had a one-night stand with the wrong guy and got pregnant for him! What's worse, the wrong guy turned out to be the most ruthless Alpha, who would never accept a weak Omega like her to be the mother of his heir! *** 'Alpha Ramos?' Crystal gasped at their words. 'The strongest and the cruelest Alpha in the world!' The moment she realized, the furious Alpha dashed toward her and caught her arms. Now, she had nowhere to run. "A...alpha, I d...didn't mean to..."She tried to explain shivering, but he just stared at her belly harshly. "P...plea...se, don't hurt my..." She wanted to cover her belly and his furious roar echoed in the hall, making her heart drop to the ground with his words, "Puppies, MINE!" He glared at her with anger burning in his eyes, "How dare you an omega steal my seed!"