Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

Don’t trust anyone, not even yourself….You think you know someone pretty well, until you’re awoken in the middle of the night to the sound of unfamiliar voices and realize your sister’s being swept away by some supernatural creatures who climb in and out of windows and leap from two-story houses like it’s nothing.My parents tried to tell me everything was fine, but when Cadence finally did come back from wherever they’d taken her, I knew there was something unusual about my older sister.Now, her best friend is dead.Her ex-boyfriend is acting bizarre.And I’m afraid I might be next.My name is Cassidy Findley, and I’m pretty sure my sister is a vampire, despite her “co-worker” making every effort to brainwash me into believing otherwise. With the help of my two best friends, we vow to get to the bottom of this before it’s too late, and my sister starts to claim other victims. I love her, but I won’t be turned, nor will I just sit by without doing everything I can to stop her. I can only hope that I’m not too late and that I can trust my own memories.Because I’m pretty sure my sister’s friends are coming for me next.The Chronicles of Cassidy is a retelling of The Clandestine Saga specifically for young adult/teen readers told from the perspective of high schooler Cassidy Findley.

"Our love is filthy, a dirty secret that nobody should know about." Kira thrives and wants a better life in a world where omegas are despised and shunned, but fate has cruel plans for her. The moon goddess gives her a forbidden mate, Alpha D'Angelo, the most feared and ruthless alpha in the land. An Alpha's bond with an Omega results in instant rejection or, worse, death. She expects worse, but D'Angelo has other interesting methods of causing ruin than a simple kill.

“Why did you bend over, Maverick?”   “Because you told me to, assh*le.”   “I’m so tempted to f*ck you right now. You’re the most exquisite woman I’ve ever been with, the only beautiful thing I see and have.”   “Then what are you waiting for? Just punish me already!” *** MAVERICK As a working college student, I struggle to make ends meet until a stranger approaches me with a proposal—to be his employer’s wife for an enormous sum of money. Knowing the cash will help me pay my grandmother’s medical bills, I accept the offer with a demand—just a marriage of convenience, nothing more. It’s too late to realize I’m marrying the gorgeous, to a fault, young Mr. Winston. And there’s this instant fire between us despite my inhibitions. Things get more complicated when our marriage is put to the test by his father, who threatens to expose my dirty little secret. *** LAKE Being a Braddson-Winston heir is sometimes a curse. My father is a real SOB and a pain in my ass. He makes one outrageous demand for me to secure the CEO seat in the company—marriage. So I find a perfect bride— Maverick Bates II, beautiful but in a dire financial situation. I only ask two things. We stay MBA and keep things purely business until the contract ends. As simple as that. It was meant to be a straightforward deal, but each day I get to know her, my position is not the only thing at stake but also my heart. I realize I can’t let her go even if she’s the daughter of the ruthless don of the Sicilianos.

Everyone wants to be me. Who wouldn't? I've got the looks, sexy body, money and Andrew Maru Ottave, my husband.But if they will only knew who I really am and what's happening in my life, I doubt that they want to be in my place. Since I was a child, I don't have a right to choose the person I want to be with, because my parents already arranged it for me.Its not actually a new thing with the elite. Because even my parents is a product of an arrange marriage. They marry for business and have a child for business. And just like my mom I will just also be a business wife.

Brianna Jackson is beautiful, bold, and fiercely loyal. Growing up with her mom and sister after her father left them, she dropped out of school to help support her family when her mother’s health started failing. But when a tiny mistake gets her fired from her restaurant , she’s back at square one—except her new boss is the same man who got her fired, and he’s determined to make her pay for it. Adrian Carter, CEO of A.C. Organizations, is rich, dangerously handsome, and impossible to please. He has no patience for mistakes and is known for firing anyone who makes one—until Brianna becomes his personal assistant. Her sass and beauty make her hard to ignore, and even harder to let go. As the tension between them blurs into something more, can they keep things professional, or will they give in to the spark between them? Find out in this gripping story of romance, rivalry, and undeniable attraction.

I trusted her. I trusted him. Big mistake. When I caught my husband and my best friend tangled in betrayal, my world shattered. And my daughter? She chose her as her new mom. Me? Just a housewife. Just the ‘overbearing mom’ who cared too much. Done. I walked away, leaving their apologies and tears in the dust. My husband dropped to his knees, begging, “Please, come back. We can fix this.”My daughter clung to me, crying, “Mom, don’t leave me.” I laughed: “Fix it? Don’t leave? Too late. You had your chance. I don’t need either of you anymore.”

“You can’t love me!” I snapped, tears blurring his handsome face. “Why?” Asher demanded, looking appalled. “Because I betrayed you…” I whispered, my heart breaking apart. “Because I came here to…destroy you.” What happens when the man you were sent to destroy turns out to be your mate and the love of your life? 25 years old Ivy never expected her beautiful life to turn into her darkest nightmare by a man named Alpha Killian Price. After destroying her pack and killing her entire family, except for her father, Killian has an offer for Ivy that could help her piece her life together again. But that offer comes at a price Ivy wasn’t ready to pay. Killian wanted her to destroy GrayCrest, the most powerful pack in the country, in exchange for her father’s life. But how could Ivy destroy the pack whose Alpha was her mate and the love of her life? Her father or her mate…there was a choice Ivy needed to make. But the stakes were too high and time was running out fast. Can Ivy make the right choice before the most brutal war in history claims innocent lives and destroys hundreds of packs in its wake? Sizzling, passionate, funny, and full of unexpected twists and actions… witness a story that will take your breath away!

"You are fucking mine .only i have right to kiss those plump lips . I fucking own your soul. Somia is only Haris's ." Saying this he smashed his lips to mine "Jaana . I might be a playboy back . But its my first kiss . You know according to me lip and forehead kiss is just a symbol of love but I accept it today" saying this he again smashed his lips to mine ................................. "How many kids you want in future?" My eyes widened at her question. Is she for real. "Ooooooo!! you are blushing at the name of kids . So cute!" saying this she pulled my cheeks and suddenly kissed me on my cheeks.She looked down getting embarrassed by her act . She did this unknowingly. I was shocked. .............. She came forward but suddenly she tripped by her dress but I caught her . Our eyes got locked and it seems like the world around us stopped . She fit perfectly in my arms. I can feel her accelerated heart beat. Her rosy lips were the first thing which was making me hard in my pants.Her smell was super intoxicating. ................. We have always heard that there are 6 identical individuals of a person. Is it true? Lets see!! It is always said that opposite attracts. Somia a young girl living in the city of saints, belongs to a middle class family. She is financially helping her father to make the both ends meet. A sweet bubbly self-made girl who knows how to deal with this cruel world. But what happens when she unknowingly falls for a cold hearted devil. Haris a cold hearted devil having several night stands . Love is not his cup of coffee. Join the journey of two opposite natured persons to know what happens when they cross their paths.

How dare you!!" His stare and cold voice made me step back with fear ,scared of what he will do. "You clumsy woman!! Keep those disgusting hands of yours steady or go die somewhere!! How dare you hurt her!! Do you even know who she is!!" "Alessandro..stop..it's alright.." Andrea pleaded from behind but he continued. "Lowlives like you don't even deserve to step into a place like this, but we were generous to offer you this job..Hell! you can't even walk properly !how come you were hired for this job?" Tears were flowing down my cheeks but he continued . "Alex...please...stop" "No Andrea I will not stop..can't you see what she did.....You are too innocent and generous... you don't know girls like her.....they envy you and when they can't compete against you ,they engage in these dirty tactics .....bloody disgusting people...." I looked up into his . I was never this low. How could he even think I did this deliberately! "Oh my god...your hand..." Andrea said looking at my hand I looked down to see my entire hand turned red with blisters everywhere. I saw my wound and I started feeling the suppressed pain I was controlling. My tears betrayed me because of his words and the pain of my burn. Andrea rushed towards me with a worry. "Maria..bring ..the coolant hurry..we need to call the doctor.." She was something else So pure and caring. My eyes lifted to see Ando His eyes were fixed on my burn but I couldn't tell if he was worried or not. But soon that expression was gone as he turned around and left. I looked at his retreating back wondering ,since when did he become so heartless. Everything is fair in love and war, And this my friends is a war of broken hearts.

The moon goddess had a sense of humor for pairing Fiona with the devilish alpha behind all her struggles. Worst still, the devilish Alpha rejects her And just when she thinks her hopes of a fairytale love is crushed and she would live alone in her misery The powerful rival of her mate swoops into her life with sexy blue eyes and an unwavering interest and a burning passion for her. She is torn between the teeth of two powerful Alphas The one who refuses to claim her and the one who wants to consume her. But now Fiona has learned to fight dirty and would do anything to get the attention of her mate including getting her fingers into the deep and becoming a pawn for her so called mate. What she doesn't realize is that all along she is on the wrong side of the battle She is tangled in a steamy twist of betrayal, secrets, revenge, and love. With only one thing she on her mind; love. When the truth reveals can she forgive? Can true love triumph over revenge? And can one love the devil?