Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

After I was falsely accused of being a third wheel by a fake heiress, she hired a group of people to corner me in the delivery room under the pretense of giving me an intervention. "How dare you, a shameless mistress, hope to secure a place with your child!" "Today, I'm going to make sure that b*stard in your belly is gone for good. Let's see if you dare get into my man's bed again." The group blocked the delivery room door, their faces twisted with malice as they refused to let the doctors deliver my baby. I begged them to let me go, but they only laughed cruelly and forced me down in front of a camera while I struggled through labor. They forcefully pulled the baby out of my belly and killed him right in front of me. I clung to my child's lifeless body, sobbing hysterically, while they posted my miserable state online with the caption, 'This is what happens to mistresses.' Later, I exposed her fake heiress status and revealed the dirty secrets of her and those people who were allegedly giving me an intervention online. Relentlessly attacked by netizens until she had nowhere left to turn, she ended up begging me for forgiveness. I pointed to the edge of the rooftop and said, "Jump, and I'll forgive you."

Usually girls loves to shop and paint their nails. But not for Valerie Hernandez. Unlike every other girls, she loves dealing with cars. She could even spend hours in the garage. This year will be Valerie last year in high school. The thought of her graduating with her boyfriend and best friend bring a smile to her face. Unexpectedly, a new student is transferring to her school. Once she laid eyes on him, she know her senior year won't go as smoothly as she thinks. What happen when Valerie and the the new student became friend? Will she feel annoyed or the exact opposite? Knowing Valerie has a boyfriend, can she choose between the two of them?

Roohi Kapoor has a problem. Scratch that—she has two problems. First, she’s hopelessly in love with her best friend, Vihan Singh Rathore, who just happens to be the most frustrating playboy in all of Delhi. He flirts with anything that moves in the skirt—except her. Second, her entire family—overprotective brothers, cousins, and all—won’t stop parading eligible bachelors in front of her. As an MD, her family thinks it's time for her to get married and “settle down.” But how can she think about anyone else when her heart is stuck on Mr. Heartbreaker himself? Enter Ron Kapoor, Roohi’s elder brother and legendary love guru. He could easily make a career of solving other people’s romantic disasters, but helping his little sister get together with a notorious playboy? Even he knows this is a recipe for disaster. Especially, when Ron’s strict rules mean Roohi must follow his plan down to the letter… and his plan involves turning the tables on Vihan's flirtatious ways. Can Roohi break free from the friend zone and finally make Vihan see her as more than just his best friend? Or will she end up heartbroken while her brothers plan her next “perfect” match? One thing’s for sure—things are about to get hilariously complicated.

"...there will be no other men, I'm a very possessive stalker..." he breathed his words heavily while biting my ear. "Luka...please..." I moaned my words and thrust my hips as his fingers pleased me, taking me higher with each stroke. "Say it...say that you will be mine..." My mind was clouded by lust, but somehow I knew that I was already his. that I wanted no one else since he kissed me. "...yours, I will be yours, I am yours..." my hand caressed his hair and he was back to kissing my lips. ***** Olga, you're his daughter,you're the heiress,you're coming back to him. That was the nail to my coffin. That was my fate. That was my doom. Luka,she's the boss's daughter,she's way above your league,she's never going to fall for you. That was the ugly truth. That was the reality. That was the fact. She's a player He's a nerd How will the two struggle? How will their love flourish? How will their relationship grow? Olga: I'm not sure with the title though... I'm perfectly nice and loving. Luka: Why do you need to state the V thing author? As if being a geek is not enough?

Out of humanity she saved his life but what did he do to her; instead of thanking her he took her in as his prisoner. But, she had no problem with it. She was more than just happy as long as she could adore this stone faced Adonis from a close radius. Wearing a pink hoodie and holding a candy she would run around, pestering that iceberg like man. "Mr. Nguyen, can you buy me a teddy?" "Mr. Nguyen, can you change the curtains to pink?" "Mr. Nguyen, can I take your heart?" Little girl, are you aware? The man you are fooling around with is the ruthless leader of the Mafia gang which rules over the shady underground community. Seems like she had no effect of this dark identity of this man. Okay, this was bearable! What made them have a jaw drop was when their heartless boss, who hardly let any woman near him, was especially doting and caring towards this little prisoner. It was after she came they realized that their boss too had a heart which was capable of loving a girl. But... Why this little fool who didn't even have an identity. Did she really move his heart or... resembled someone hiding in his heart. A funny and warm story of a dominant mafia boss and... a girl he picked up from street.

"Open up, Nyx. Wider. Fuck, that's it. Don't look away, look at me while I fuck this sexy little mouth of yours." He groaned as my hateful gaze found his. Tears glistened in my eyes as his cock hit the base of my throat, intense hate and twisted pleasure brewing in my abdomen. I didn't complain as he gave me what we both wanted. It didn't change who we were. We were enemies. He murdered my parents and I'll make him pay, if it's the last thing I do. But for now, I'll play the role of a submissive little sex slave. ***** Nyx Whitethorn has been sheltered all her life as the daughter of the Alpha and Luna of the proud Silver moon pacK. However, when her father angers the wrong man, the life she knows changes forever. Alpha Atlas is a ruthless hybrid that only craves carnage and destruction. He sets his eyes on Nyx when her father tries to have his child assassinated. Atlas kills everyone her pack and takes her hostage. Nyx is subjected to hell in the clutches of the hybrid. She's turned into the alpha's personal sex toy and Atlas is driven by dark need to break Nyx in all the dirty, depraved ways possible. Soon, he finds himself wanting more from her until the lines start to blur between passion and revenge.

Life is something unprecedented. Family is a gift which I'm certain any individual would need. At the point when you're a kid, your parents should shield you from whatever might hurt or scare you. They should give you love and let you in on that you have them. As far back as I can recollect, my folks have given me the direct opposite. To be more exact... my mom and stepfather. Rather than wishing me wonderful dreams, they reviled me with bad dreams. As opposed to much love, I got punches and kicks. I don't know what I did wrong for them to give me that treatment and disdain me so much, however I had figured out how to simply manage it. Particularly when a wonderful green-peered child was born into the family. Indeed, on the off chance that you might call us that. At last, I figured out how to move us away from those terrible individuals I called parents. All was great and we were happy, yet happiness doesn't keep going long. He was the beginning of my nightmares. I simply wish somebody would've let me know what my life would come to. Perhaps then I could never have decided to trust him. I wouldn't be hauling my seven-year-old girl out at 2am simply to move away from him... "Come on, bubbles. Rush!" I briskly shout as I pull Daisy towards the vehicle by her hand. "Mom…I dropped Tom!" She cries back to me while I put her in the backseat and immediately lock her in. I would have rather not returned in, terrified of what could occur however she adored Tom. Since I got him for her, she has become very attached to him. So without another thought, I ran once again into the house.

They say promises are made to be broken and people who have committed mistakes should be given second chances. Just how many broken promises can a loving heart take? And how many second chances can a wounded heart give? ~~ Barbara ‘Bobbie’ St. Clair has it all. The fame, the looks, the riches… the boy. Although this was her status in life, Bobbie never lacked compassion and kindness for other people. These qualities draw people closer to her. However, after the death of her grandparents, Bobbie’s life took a complete turn. Loneliness and grief became her biggest challenge, but with the help of Jake West, she survived and came out stronger. He became her buoy that kept her afloat. Although a bad boy and playboy in people’s eyes, Jake West devoted himself to his family and to his girl. Apart from his love for football, he made sure to put the people he loves first before his needs. Never in his wildest dream that he thought would he need to choose between these two. When life’s biggest game was laid in front of him, it’s time to choose between playing and quitting. How will Jake keep Bobbie from sinking when he, himself, will drown in his family’s dirty secrets? ~~ [Mature content] Cover by DOBOLYU V

It’s all started with a flirt. It wasn’t a surprise to me that he’s a playboy—it’s all written all over his pretty face. He’s a kind of guy your mom warned you about, but your body craves. It might be hard to accept, but I’ve been in a dry spell for a long time. So maybe he’s the answer, but the charming, cocky, and brutally honest playboy made me feel like no men ever did. And pretty soon, I was in too deep. *** It wasn’t a part of my plan. In fact, I never have imagined my life to be with someone more than just to warm my bed, let alone a woman with a kid, but just a single look at her gorgeous blue eyes, I’m already confused—I’ve never been drawn to any women the way I was drawn to her.

She rubbed her forehead profusely, "You do, you could walk away and save yourself now and I will be fine and I will understand." He glanced at her and his gaze locked and there was a level of sincerity in them, "If I save myself, who's going to save you?" ***** Jasmin Whyte was a twenty-six-year-old thief who ran away from her boyfriend after she caught him cheating, an excuse to finally leave her old life behind and start over, but when she discovered that she was two weeks pregnant for her him, she began back to her old ways. It wasn't long before she fell into trouble which was how she ran into billionaire Cainan Inferno and her life took an unexpected turn. Cainan Inferno was a thirty-three-year-old Billionaire and the CEO of The Inferno group which was the largest company in the country. He once had it all with money and looks, but his life took a sour turn after he lost his wife Neriah Gomez to cancer. Meeting Jasmin Whyte sparked the feeling he thought was long dead and he knew the only one capable of helping him move on from his late wife was her. He tracked her down and made her an offer she couldn't refuse while ignoring all the threats her past posed to his name, reputation and social status. All he asks in return was for her to steal his heart. Will she be able to do the one thing he asks or will she lose her heart in the process?