Funny Mom Jokes Dirty

Triple Threats -Strong Female Lead -Three scoundrels, Cough! Cuties on a mission. -Rebirth Interviewer, "If you and your husband's mistress are drowning, who would he save first?" Scarlett Tates scoffs, "That's a ridiculous question. I don't have the time to play such stupid games. In Fact, you've just reminded me to take swimming lessons." Dakota Asgrave frosts over, "Mrs Asgrave how can I be your prince charming if you don't spare me some opportunities? You, stop this interview! How dare you put bad thoughts into my wife's mind?! Isn't it hard enough that she is a prodigy in everything?!" Interviewer, "..." * * * Scarlett Tates, an overbearing aristocrat, didn't expect the cliche that happens in books to happen to her as well. Her fiance, whom she donated a kidney to, cheated on her with her senior step-sister. Distraught, she sought solace in alcohol and ended up sleeping with an unknown man! Strangely, after that steamy night she found herself, bloody and with a sickly baby girl in front of her parents' gates with no memory of what had happened or where she's been in the last 9 months! Over the next ten years, the once proud woman was chastised by the world, used and abused by her family, fiance and her once greatest hope of a love-filled life, her husband. What's worse she was separated from her daughter for five years! In the end, Scarlett died a miserable death of being run down by a car like an animal and made a wish in her last breath. It seemed God had finally noticed her when she opened her eyes, back five years in the past! After being given a second chance how will Scarlett take charge of her life? What truths might she discover on her way of becoming the next top doctor?

Anathea Jacobson has had a crush on Gregory Sinclair for ten years. She thinks marrying him is a dream come true. Even if he's just a block of ice now, she'll surely be able to melt him over time. However, all she ever gets is his ice-cold treatment. He's gentle and tender to his true love, but he scorns and neglects her. He also mistreats and humiliates her… Anathea endures it all because they have a son. For his sake, she's willing to cling to her title of Mrs. Sinclair and cage herself in this loveless marriage for the rest of her life. This changes when she's abducted. Gregory spends the night with his true love, and even her beloved son abandons her—he wants to have Gregory's true love as his mother! That's when Anathea sees sense. Her husband will never love her, and her son will never appreciate her. If that's the case, she doesn't want them anymore. She wants to live for herself! … After the divorce, Anathea picks up floral art again. She sets up a company, makes big money, and wins various awards. She wants to give herself all the love she deserves so that she'll go back to being the lively, vivacious woman she once was. Gregory panics when he sees the men surrounding her and vying for her affections. He falls to his knees before her, his eyes rimmed with red as he pleads, "I love you, Nat. Please don't leave me." Anathea sneers. "Your love is too little, too late, Mr. Sinclair." Her son clings to her legs and wails. "Don't abandon me, Mom!" She pushes him away impassively. "Don't call me that. I'm not your mother."

Twin brothers.Different personalities. Completely identical. Except for a tattoo. One an ex-convict. The other a judge. Watch out for a thrilling drama as secrets and twists play out in this blockbuster story.You can read my interviewand oni, https://tinyurl.com/y62f98am

On the fifth anniversary of my marriage to Vicente Buckley, he violated my trust by sleeping with my best friend Kinsley Gilmore, on our bed. Through the camera, my son Jamie Buckley's childish voice sounded. "Kinsley, I'll keep watch at the door. I won't let my mom come in!" As if rewarding him, Kinsley pecked Vicente and suggested, "Your son is great. Don't you think about having another child with Patricia?" Vicente responded by covering her face with a pillow, saying, "The scar on her belly disgusts me."

"You, my dear, will be going to help us to decide that. You will pick a king." "Say what now?" "I'm not going to repeat it since I know that you have heard me." "Fine! You want me to decide?! Nate!" I pointed to prince Nathaniel, if I remember correctly. He was slightly taken aback and a confused expression was replaced. "Do you want to be a king?" "I...uh...Yes?" He said. Unsure of his answer. It made me wonder if the expression on my face had forced him to say yes. "Good. Then you'll be the king. "What!? But that's not how you decide it!" PRINCE Ace said. "Fine! You're all kings. In fact, we ALL can be kings!!" **** She's Rosalie Amber Stan. A simple teenage girl, who made a wish to have a more adventurous life, was a victim of an abduction by the Fae queen to a different realm. She was brought to a castle with 5 supernatural princes, who are fighting for the throne. The queen gave her a task to be the one to choose the future heir to their kingdom. Little did she know that the queen only wanted one thing from her and the princes: Romance. Between a sparkly wizard, a rude obnoxious elf, a flirty vampire, and a couple of twin trouble making wolf princes; Is there really a right choice? And why is there a wolf spirit, who suddenly awakened upon sensing her arrival, kept stalking her? A romantic-comedy in 'another world' with a quirky-temperamental female heroine learning the culture of this new fantasy world.

Nina Facelo is your average type of girl. Hindi maganda at hindi rin naman pangit, simple lang sya kung baga. Mahilig magbasa, manood ng Rom-Com movies, mahilig magbake, kumain, and a k-pop fan with strange hobbies. Kahit na palagi syang natatawag na weirdo, loner, at nerd ay wala siyang paki-alam. She have the best sets of friend, kahit dalawa lang ito. But an accident happened, habang naglalakad sya papunta sa isang bookstore, upang bumili ng libro na palaging bukambibig ng kanyang kaibigan. It's was tittled with Illuminating Darkness. A Romance-Fantasy novel. An unexpected faith occurred she was about to go home, she saw an old woman who's in trouble. The old woman was being harassed by thieves! Pilit nitong hinihila ang hand bag ng matanda, and when she saw this, ay nagpakabayani ito at ipinagtanggol ang matanda without knowing the consequences. And right before her eyes, she was stab! It happen so fast, that in a blink of an eye. She was clutching her stomach, watching the blood flowing from her tummy,like a fountain. Akala nya mamamatay na sya. But suddenly, she woke up in a different body. The body of Lady Marina, daughter of the powerhouse Edwards. What in the world just happen?!

" Please." she croaked out, the pain slowly paralyzing her body. " No! I can't marry you anymore, Sage. You're broken, used, and tainted. How am I supposed to marry you now knowing so many men used you like a fucking public property?" Enrique snapped, glaring at his fiance who was on the hospital bed. " She was raped, Enrique. How can you say this?" Sabrina growled, not believing what he just said. " Not my fault but I can't marry her now. I can't even look at her after knowing how dirty she is. I'm sorry Sage but our story has to come to an end here." Enrique looked at his childhood love, on the bed helplessly drowning in her own tears as he walked out of the room. --- Love lasts all fights but unfortunately, Enrique's love couldn't. He walked out on the very first step leaving Sage to deal with herself. Two years later, he is back in the same town only to marry Sage's sister. Will he regret his decision or will it be too late? Read to find it all out.

On my son’s birthday, my husband had asked his first love to pick our son up from our home. While I stubbornly refused to let him go, a huge fire broke out in the hallway during our standoff. I was struck by falling debris, and blood started streaming from my head. However, my son was unharmed as he lay beneath me. My husband, who was a firefighter, came forward to rescue us. But he handed the only gas mask he had to his first love. “Miss Leia has a weaker constitution. Dad, please get her out first. Mom, wait for the other firefighters to save you!” I watched them leave with a faint, bitter smile. It appeared that they had both forgotten my severe asthma and the fact that I would die without a gas mask.

Portia 'Tia' Colby has always been ignored in favor of her twin sisters. The only people who truly acknowledged her are her mom and her best friends, Mark and Lynn. The future Alphas of the Emerald Lake Park are identical twins. They are eager to take over but have yet to find their fated mate. They decide to take chosen mates instead. What happens when Portia is made to return home for the Alpha ceremony and runs across her mate...or mates, the Alpha twins themselves? What does her family say when, before her appearance, her twin sisters were set to become Lunas of the Emerald Lake Pack? Who will become Luna? How will her family react? This is a series that contains: Three Fated Hearts, TFH: Another Chance, TFH: Things Change, and TFH: Making Things Right

Bianca needs a refuge. She ends at a weird place… the « Crossroads café » well named as it stands in the middle of nowhere and manage to get a job there. Little did she knows that the Crossroads café is the place in between packs… the only space where différents groups of werewolves can stop to take a break.