Funny Pinoy Jokes

So there I was, stuck in this dark Victorian mansion for a whole freaking century, thinking I'd never get out. Then, out of nowhere, these two gorgeous girls swoop in and rescue me! I couldn't believe it, and we instantly hit it off. They showed me a whole new world I'd only ever imagined, and I was all about living a normal human life.   But just when I thought things were looking up, this vampire named Vivaldi pops up out of thin air, grinning like a possessed Jack-o'-lantern. I mean, a name like Vivaldi is bound to give you the creeps, right? He claimed I had some ancient first blood running through my veins and demanded that I sign some crazy blood contract with him—the kind of deal that comes with some seriously freaky consequences.   Vivaldi was trying to sell me the idea that this blood contract was his only lifeline, the only way to save his skin from something worse than death. But I wasn't some clueless newborn vamp; I knew better than to just dive into something as serious as a blood contract. Those things come with some heavy consequences, and I wasn't about to sign up for that without a second thought.   The problem was, if I didn't go along with his messed-up plan, he promised to make my friends' lives a living hell—the very people I'd started to care about. I was trapped between a rock and a hard place. If I decided to team up with Vivaldi, I'd be keeping him around, which is far from ideal. But if I refused, my friends and the whole town of Shadowvale would be in serious danger.    It felt like I was caught in this impossible situation, like I was trying to choose between two rotten apples.

Xavier is on the verge of giving up and settling for what his life is -grueling, onerous, and insipid. Sierra is a woman with dreams as big as the sun but a heart as rigid as a rocky mountain. She is constantly facing obstacles and has a hard time letting go and healing from events of her past. These two are least likely to make a match but when the odds are in favor, hope blossoms for them. On the other hand, Xander is an accomplished man with the power kings crave and intellect that the world envies atop a slight maniacal charm. Between the two underground kings, Xavier and Xander, lies the only queen left- Sierra -she has to choose between a mysterious love full of surprises or love that she could only dream of. In this compelling novel, we take a new approach to whimsical romance, banter, and the grim side of reality. Find out how the story unfolds, twists, and turns in this revolutionary book - My Altered Mate. by Lothaire.

Belle Stefano, a transmigrator who comes from another world. She woke up one day on a different body. She lives her life leisurely not until she finds out that she’s inside the comic that she’s read and that she is the antagonist who will meet her end tragically by the male lead. Luke Andres Hendrick is cold and heartless. He doesn’t care about the people around him except when she finds Georjia Norjia and falls in love with her at first sight. Belle did her best to not get in the way of the male and female lead of the comic book but she slowly falls in love with the male lead. Will she confess her love for him or she will run away without telling the male lead how she feels?

"I want you to be mine." Davon purrs into my ear while his hand snakes up to my neck. "I want to be yours, too..." "Good. Then I shall fuck you till you forget your own name, little flower." His hand tightens against my throat.

Tara isn't your everyday beauty shit she wasn't a size 0 runway model, she was curvey thick and flawless nonetheless. It took her years to see that in herself after going through the ups and downs of being tossed through the foster system she had all but lost her faith in herself. This is why she chooses to become an advocate for foster kids like her. When she first launched her UFCP program she had only one private supporter. Now here she was at a huge charity banquet representing her program publicly and the program would now be recognized nationally. It was like a dream come true especially when she runs into the investor who happens to be an old friend from the foster system who was in the same house as her. Giovanni Berlusconi, he had glowed up since she last saw him all those years ago and he apparently felt the same about her. The only problem was he was a mafia king pin and Tara might have known much about the mob, but she sure as hell knew she wanted no parts of it. Especially after two of her colleagues end up dead in a mysterious car crash after questioning Gio's family connections to the recent spike in missing persons cases in the city. Tara had tried to blow him off politely but Gio wasn't having it. Stopping by her office unannounced. Tara was desperate to avoid the mob boss at all cost that is until she accidentally stumbles on to a private family meeting and witnesses him killing someone. Now she has only two choices marry the very man she fears or die.

Roxanne Jarvis had been married to Lucian for three long years, yet in all that time, he had never once touched her. Despite loving him deeply, Roxanne eventually came to terms with the fact that their marriage was nothing but an empty shell. With her heart breaking, she made one last request before walking away—she asked Lucian to spend just one night with her. Afterward, she left, facing the scorn and contempt of those around her. Six years passed, and Roxanne returned, not as the heartbroken woman she once was, but as a renowned, genius doctor—and with two twin children by her side. Now, men flocked to her, including her ex-husband Lucian, whose world was once again shaken by her presence.

She's a young Christian of 24yrs who tragically lost her father at 10yrs. She's ambitious that's why she immigrated to America. Her ambitiousness doesn't only push her to immigrated, it also made her work for Declan. She's brave, innocent, sensitive, ambitious and focus that's why when confronted with a choice between her siblings financial safety and her believes she's lost monumentally. He's perfect, sexy as hell, Richer than the word rich and arrogant than the devil himself, with all this perfection in appearance he still has some vacuum, he isn't perfect as he needs others to believe, Declan was diagnosticated with erectile dyfunctioning at a very young age. What will happen when two opposite individuals meet? can two site of a coin really meet? How will they survive without intercourse?

The childs gone. The dreams gone. I've become comfortably numb Valentina Lombardi has been through a lifetime of trauma throughout her years. From her absentee, abusive father who's neglected her all her life to her even more abusive legal guardian who's been the one to traumatize her. A trip to what she sees as her second bedroom, the police station, takes a turn of events with a piece of information she receives that changes everything. Zane Marino, leader of the Marino mafia, and Raul Romano, one of his top men. Dead. The two men who've destroyed her are now out of her life, a miracle to her. Now, she's being thrown into the custody of her eight older brothers she never knew she had. Her biological family. Not to mention, her eldest brother who's now her legal guardian, also happens to be the leader of the Sicilian mafia. Her "father's" pure enemy. What happens when she has to learn to deal with the infamous, ruthless Lombardi brothers, the ones she was raised to hate? Marino through adoption and Lombardi by blood. A dangerous mix. Throw trauma, boys, secrets, and utter chaos into the mix. How will it all play out when her inner demon's come to the surface, making everything unravel right under her two feet?

Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what’s happening. It’s inevitable. An event you can’t control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course. Hazel was rejected by someone she loved and was told that he would be engaged to her deadly foe. In great despair, she went to a bar and met this handsome guy (Zac). They drank a lot and played games. Under the influence of alcohol, they got married. However when they came back to her senses, they decide to make things right, but it's hard to get a divorce now because she wants to use the dramatic yet genuine marriage to keep her proud in front of her deadly foe. Zac on the other hand was the future heir to one of the richest and prosperous families. Although he was endowed with an otherworldly handsomeness, he was known to be as cold as ice and had a natural dislike for women although they always craved after him like bees to a honey pot. But for some unknown reason, he finds something unique about Hazel which he can’t explain. Perhaps, it were her eyes which were limpid and pure like autumn water and sparkled like azure pools in the morning sunlight… Would it be possible that they fall in love with each other in the future? Take part in this amazing piece, and experience a story filled with various mysteries and incredible twists as she uncovers the mysteries surrounding Zac who decides to hide his identity and tremendous background in order to win her heart genuinely.

Jadie is the only daughter of the Beta family. The youngest of three, Jadie feels out of place in her home. When she decides to move across country to find herself, the last thing she expected to happen was for her to not only run into her mate, but to be rejected by him too. With a clouded vision of her future, the only way Jadie can be pulled out of her gloomy state is to befriend his best friend and Alpha, Lincoln. With Lincoln’s help, Jadie adventures to find her new version of normal and fulfill the true reason she moved to Michigan. Along the way, secrets of Lincoln’s are revealed that make her realize they are a lot closer than she ever thought.