Funny Rhymes Novels & Stories

“Oh man, burning poop!” “No, shit!” “Yes shit, dog shit.” “This is gonna be funny as hell.” “All we gotta do is get a stick, put dog poop in the bag. We close up the bag and pour a little lighter fluid on it, and light it. Then we ring the doorbell and run like hell.”

She screamed, “Type shii, type shii, you feel me?!” I cracked up, blasting the aux. Out of nowhere, I started screaming, “LULULEMOOOOONNNNNNNNNN!” She joined in, “He said he tossin’, pull me back!” I fired back, “Seems like a Lulu on his ass!” Together we howled, “LULULEMOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN!” We laughed so hard we could barely breathe. She wiped her eyes. “We’re singing rubbish, not even the lyrics.”

I dropped the sword and placed it against the tree, faced the crossroad with my arm out and forefinger poked out, "Out does this rhyme go again? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a-" Are you serious right now? Cora grumbled interrupting me and I had to stop. I decided to continue again and I struggled to remember the rhyme, I most definitely have to substitute the words now. Look what you have done! I snapped at her trying to rack my brains for the right words, Please be quiet I need to concentrate. "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch an Orian by his cock, if he moans, let him go, Eeny, meeny, miny, moe."

Then everything went black. ******************** I heard beautiful laughter. It reminded me of a child’s giggle, but with more substance. I couldn’t see her face, but I knew it was Vasha. The sky above was clear and light blue. Warm wind blew around me as I searched the field of Sunflowers for my friend's laughter. She started to squeal with happiness, and I followed the sound. Within seconds I was rewarded with her thin arms looping around my neck. She felt delicate, but strong. Her lips whispered low, in an alluring way.

He could just clutch his stomach and laugh and giggle more harder blessing the older's sense of sight and hearing. Seeing and hearing the younger's high pitched laughs and giggles, a wide grin creeps on to the older's face while froth still sticks on his chin and around his mouth. And Aroon again starts to sing the lyrics of the nursery rhyme, liking to carry on making the younger laugh more. “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, Catch a tiger by the toe.", he sings pointing his toothbrush at the younger as he says the word 'tiger'. He is successful as the younger starts laughing more.

It's pathetic! He dropped that bomb and strutted off before I could fire back. I could hardly believe my ears that such boneheaded words came from the man I have loved for years. His so-called 'cozy winter promos' were just a table with free cups of cheap black coffee and some giveaway gloves out front. The coffee often went cold, untouched, and those gloves ended up in the street bin. However, Seth, of course, thought they were pure gold. Somehow, I was the one cashing in on Lily's ideas!

And if that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring turns brass, Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass. And if that looking glass gets broke, Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat. And if that billy goat won't pull, Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull. And if that cart and bull turn over, Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover. And if that dog named Rover won't bark, Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart.

Buzz, hiss-hiss, flicker. Laughter, like a teenage girl’s giggle. Then music. It was just one of those things Just one of those crazy flings One of those bells that now and then rings Just one of those things. The door closed. The lock clicked. The lights went out. “She’s not your sweetheart,” gurgled a child-like voice. Randy never even had time to scream.

“When you can, sing me Daddy’s favorite song.” Nearly three minutes later, Kiyah began singing. “O-old MacDonald…had a…garage.” She paused to suck up snot. “E-I-E-I-O. And what was in that garage?” “And in that garage…he had…a car.” “E-I-E-I-O. With a what?” “With a vroom vroom here, and a vroom vroom there. Here a vroom, there a vroom, everywhere a vroom vroom. Old MacDonald had a garage. E-I-E-I-O.”

I repeated. “It doesn’t rhyme with any of that shit. It does however rhyme with works and hey - hoes.” Bridge said then. “Those are not real words…” Proctor shot out. “Y’all are insane. All of you.” Layla said. But my girl had done it. “Turks and Caicos??!” I yelled. “Yeah!!!” They all yelled .. relieved that the rhyming was over. “And you wanna hear the best part?” Frankie asked me. “That wasn’t it?” I asked.