Funny Sarcastic Quotes Novels & Stories

Trace a.k.a The Orgy King. The Panty Ripper. His sworn brother called him funny names but he knows what he is. A spawn by Satan. Born to be his father's trouble. He fuck around like a rabbit. Party here and there. But his fave sport will always involve dark and bad. A walking sin. Trace will soon realize that karma really is a bitch*. Organization. Friendship. Brotherhood. Trace Dimagiba might be the most hateful man in FOEDUS CORP., but he’ll soon realize that even the devil himself deserves redemption. In the form of the feisty and beautiful woman who sauntered into his life– Chloe. His light and his end game.

Synopsis - On the night when the young warrior Raen is born, strange things happen in the Free East: A prince dies and the great oracle of Tulga sends a mysterious prophecy. A long journey begins. Will the young Raen manage to take the fate of his people in hand against the dark power of the priests and councilors? Raen's journey takes him to the legendary city of Borgossa, where he is to be trained at the War Academy. There he meets the funny Manoen, a compatriot, and they become friends. But Manoen also keeps a dark secret. When Raen finds out, the terrible machinations of the priests of his country are revealed to him. Together with his friend he returns to Hy to overthrow the priestly caste. War is inevitable.

What Anna Belle Vasquez wants, she gets. That’s why when she meets the cold, vicious and heartless varsity swimmer of UC, Kristoff Liam Mendez, she already marked him as her target. Hell or High Water, he will be hers. The problem is, Kristoff doesn't want Anna Belle to dominate him, won't look her way and he hates her to death. In the end, she gets rejected. Five years have passed, and they meet again. The worst, Belle becomes his secretary. Can she still get him and own him? Or will he be her sweetest karma? *** Excerpt: “I… I thought you like me too,” It came out as a whisper. I didn’t know why I felt like crying. I heard him let out a sarcastic laugh. “Like? You? I told you many times that I hate you. It doesn’t mean that I fuck you; I already like you, Belle. I admit it was good. But that’s just it. It’s just sex. No feelings at all.”

On the day Owen Mercer and I get married, I place our marriage certificate beside our candlelit dinner. Just as I'm about to take a picture and upload it to social media, Owen suddenly says, "This certificate is fake." I freeze. A woman's startled voice comes through his phone, "Hey! Why did you tell her so soon? You ruined all the fun!" Owen frowns in frustration. "She's been completely clueless this entire time. Is there really any reason to keep pretending? Fine. You win the bet, Ms. McCoy. Are you satisfied now?" But my post has already been shared on social media. Everyone is sending their congratulations to Owen and me, celebrating that we have finally tied the knot after seven years together. The woman on the other end leaves a sarcastic comment, just like how she used to bully me back in the day. "Wow, look at you two finally making it official! So when's the reception? Hehe!" After a moment's thought, I respond, "Next week."

Mom is always very strict with both my elder sisters, Esther and Emily Kingston. She always wakes them up at 5:00 am to make them study. And if they refuse to wake up, Mom will grab an embroidery needle and stab it into my arm. When fresh blood spills out, Esther and Emily will both get a fright and scramble to their desks at once to begin studying. Sometime during the year-end exam, Esther gets one easy question wrong, and I receive ten lashes with Mom's belt. Emily gets only the second-highest score in class, and I am forced to kneel on glass until my knees turn bloodied and torn. Esther and Emily feel sorry for me and fall to their knees, begging Mom to have mercy on me and promising that they will study hard and make her proud of them. Mom smiles happily and says that this teaching method works very well. However, after the SATs, Esther applies for a college out of state, and Emily tells Mom that she is eloping with a young man whom she has fallen in love with. Mom is so angry that she yanks me over and stuffs me into a huge fish tank before beginning to fill it up with water. She then takes a video of me, threatening to drown me alive if they don't listen to her and do exactly as she says. The water keeps rising in the tank. I feel scared, but I don't struggle because Mom always tells me that the only reason for my existence is to be made an example out of for Esther and Emily. She often quotes Shakespeare's "Othello", telling me about how I am the "sacrificial" dog one beats to scare a lion and teach it obedience. I think that I am considered quite a qualified dog after all, right?

BLURB All Aria Scott wanted was relief from a stupid allergy rash. What she got instead… was Dr. Nolan Edison. Cold. Brilliant. Irritatingly handsome—and completely immune to her charm. Most men fall for Aria’s sunshine energy in seconds. Nolan? He shuts her down with a single word: no. But Aria has never backed down from a challenge. Between fake appointments, accidental run-ins, and very intentional flirting, she’s determined to crack the grumpy doctor’s perfectly controlled world. And the more she pushes, the more cracks begin to show. Because behind Nolan’s icy exterior is a man with a past he refuses to face… and feelings he definitely shouldn’t be having for his most chaotic patient. He knows she’s trouble. She knows he’s hiding something. And somehow, between sarcastic banter, stolen moments, and undeniable chemistry, they both start to realize— This isn’t just attraction. It’s something far more dangerous. Because when sunshine meets a storm… someone is bound to lose control.

They thought they were enemies. Fate made them mates. Joy Stone isn’t just the brainy, sarcastic queen of pranks—she’s a deadly Alpha hybrid in disguise. At her human university, no one suspects the quiet nerd is also the fiercest warrior of the Diamond Heart Pack. Until he walks in. Lex: infuriatingly gorgeous, maddeningly brilliant, and cocky enough to challenge her at every turn. He’s also the future Alpha of the Water Moon Pack, a notorious playboy whose charm breaks hearts almost as fast as his fists break bones—and now, her new rival for the top spot on campus. Their war starts with stolen notes, savage comebacks, and steamy glares that last too long. But one reckless kiss, one dark secret, and one blood-soaked rescue later… everything changes. They’re not just rivals. They’re mates. Now Joy has to choose: resist the pull—or give in to a bond that could expose everything she’s worked to hide. Enemies in the classroom. Lovers by fate. And in the end, only one will top the pack.

This is the tale of how the sexist remark, "Men are scum," was delivered to me on a scalding plate! Guess what? It all started with a birthday surprise party for my boss's fiance, but I was slapped with horror when I saw my boyfriend of two years being kissed by my boss with an engagement ring around both their fingers. Turned out I had been the side chick for two bloody years! Funny enough, I wasn't served a heart break alone, my boss had also been toying with the emotions of Cole McPherson, and together we swore to take revenge. Would I still scream, "Men are slime!" at the conclusion, or will my beliefs alter in the process of seeking revenge alongside Cole?

They say memories stored in our brain could be sometimes forgotten, but then the heart does not forget. Because our heart always remember, the heart recognizes our beloved when our brain couldn't. Years after they lost contact with each other, Zhanaia encountered Dion again on the same place where they met. And funny how destiny works, they met again just like how they first met, accidentally bumping with each other. Zhanaia's heart was filled with joy, she couldn't contain her happiness and jumped to hug Dion, not wanting to let him go again. But all the hope in her shattered when Dion pulled away from her embrace and asked her, "I'm sorry, miss, but... who are you?"

Until recently, Carolina Lane has lived a normal life, but when she moves to this town, things change. Having Kayler Brown, the sexiest and most respected boy in school, as a neighbor is not funny at all. While Caroline is trying hard to make this bossy yet meddling boy stay out of her business, she receives death warnings: Attention, Carolina. The forest will be your new enemy. Do not approach Kayler, or otherwise, your death will be even more painful than I had planned. Who sent this letter? What is Kayler hiding behind? What's the secret of this town? Caroline desperately wants to figure out the truth. However, Kayler won’t answer the questions. He just takes her hand and gazes at her. “You are mine.” He said.