Funny Sexual Jokes

Michael Morris has found the perfect girl in Allison Kennemore--she is sweet, funny, beautiful, and everyone thinks they're so cute together. But Michael is lying to himself. His problem is compounded when he meets Allison's charming, handsome, and openly gay sibling Jacob. When Allison discovers that Michael is more interested in Jacob than he is in her, she is devastated. To get back at him, she pretends to be ignorant of his secret and ramps up her seduction to make him squirm. Michael spent most of his teens denying his true self and has learned to hide it well. When Jacob proves to be too much of a temptation, Allison tells him she wants to take their relationship to the next level. Unfortunately, being Allison's perfect boyfriend is the only way Michael can get closer to the one he really wants. If he tells Alison the truth, he might lose his only link to Jacob. When Jacob starts to notice him as Allison pushes for more, Michael will have to decide if he is ready to embrace his true self or lose his opportunity to make a true connection with someone who wants him as himself.

Maia just graduated and starts her new journey. She met the love of her life who changes her to become someone she never expected. Maia is an innocent narcissistic woman who strives to be on her best behavior. Her girlfriend named Lena runs an illegal business followed her father and drags Maia into the cartel ring. Lena is a snarky, manipulative, and street-smart woman, she has good survival skills, is calm, and usually has a good sense of humor when facing problems. Both Lena and Maia betray each other for personal gain, despite their feelings for each other. Lena is good at reading people and is perceptive. Maia experiences life chaos with her girlfriend, Lena. And that changes her became cruel, spoiled, and will be manipulative to get what she wants. But in the end, she just does what she needs to do to survive and protect the one she loves. Their adventure through love, pain, and sexual fantasies remain loyal to each other across time, distance, and silence which changes the way we see real love. Both of them end up behind bars and Maia is released before Lena. After her release, will Maia wait for Lena and be with her or start her new life? RATED 17+ This novel contains sex, nudity, and violence.

N/B Book contains dark and sexual scenes read at your discretion. ~ He burst into a peal of laughter at my agony and this time his eyes grew dark with rage as he gripped my head closer to his face. We were just an inch apart. My breathing turned labored and the sobs racked my throat. “I hate you Talitha. I hunted every town my spies saw you. I searched the deepest forest and farther into every pack of the world to fish you out. Finally, you’re here and this time I’ll make sure I’ll take everything that makes you special, gifted, and exalted and replace them with a broken, weak, and worthless slave, and not only that… I know you hate me, my name, and whose son I am. But that would change. I’ll fill you with me in every corner of your heart, soul, body, and blood. I’ll be so deep in your blood that when you bleed you bleed me.” *********** Witches are not accepted to be part of the kingdom of Arni where the evil Alpha king takes the women for his sexual gratification and kills and burns them alive at will. The evil king gets murdered and when the witches thought their persecution is over his son Alpha Hades- is out for the witches but first, he must conquer Tabitha's daughter. The daughter of the woman (Head Witch) who murdered his father and beheaded his poor mother and he must conquer her in spirit and on his bed by putting a collar on her neck as his slave and imprinting his essence on every inch of her perfect body. Can love grow from this unlikely pair of wolves and Witches or will their hate and revenge consume them in their quest.

WARNING: The female lead is not a weak, spineless doormat. She’s bold, funny, slightly fearless and witty as hell. Her husband is an absolute fool and her ex-fiancé is a full fledged red flag who is completely obsessed with her. Thanks for reading!! *** At the age of 18, Amani’s fiancé looked her in the eyes and called her “the trash.” On top of that, he proceeded to call off their engagement because he found a more beautiful and glamorous woman. Heartbroken and shattered, she gets married to Henry Wilson a few years later and he turns out to be an abuser and a cheat. Their son is diagnosed with stage four cancer and while he breathes his last on his deathbed, Henry is busy frolicking around town with his new secretary. Angry beyond measure, she files for divorce. Amani’s plan after divorce is to remain totally man-free for the rest of her life, but that plan turns to dust when the man who shattered her heart at 18 storms back into her life like a violent earthquake. Bhyron Macaulay is his name – New York’s most enigmatic billionaire bachelor, gorgeous as a demon and every woman’s dream man. One thing about him? He hates debtors. And Amani’s late parents owe him the sum of twenty million dollars. Bhyron has only one plan — to make sure Amani becomes his wife whether by consent or by force, and he plans to use that debt as leverage. When dark, haunting secrets about their pasts start to fly and Amani begins to feel a burning attraction for a man she once swore she hates, who will fall first? The heartless billionaire or the woman he once abandoned…?

Elsie Miller, just an ordinary girl that lived in ordinary life. Her life turned chaos when she accidentally bumped into a little girl that attached to her immediately after the incident.Dexter Anderson, the mafia king that lost his family and it turned him to a cold hearted, ruthless and heartless mafia-broken mafia. The only family left was his niece, Andrea Smith. He devoted all his love to his niece and willing to do anything to create a smile on her face and she was the cause he trampled into Elsie's world."You can't reject me. Once I decided what I want, no one can say no to me and you are included. I will make sure you come to me and say yes to my face. Mark my words.”"Haha. Very funny mister whatever you are. Let's see how you are going to make me say yes!”"Well, challenge accepted.” He cut off the line afterwards without giving me chance to argue back. Arrogant and rude. Now, it convinced me more that this was the right decision ever for rejected his offer.

Dragged to a party by her best friend Meme, Lala has a chance run-in with the local biker king Spin, who ends up saving her life when she almost drowns, only to take over and destroy it! When she meets Jonny upon his departure from the Navy, Spin is forced into redemption! Will Lala choose the good guy or the bad boy?!

After graduating from NYU, Victory Sinclair had her life all planned out. Well, at least the career part, that is. She has been accepted into one of New York’s leading advertising and media agency and will be joining the agency as a personal assistant to the CEO. Little did she know, a strange twist of fate is about to change the course of her future. An unfortunate accident with Arthur Knight resulted in serious consequences that would alter both their futures. What will Victory do? Would she succumb to pressure or would she follow what her heart tells her to?

***Warning this book does contain sexual assault, suicide attempt/ideation, physical violence, and adult language. Please read at your own discretion.***** Davina lives an ordinary human life with her parents, having no clue werewolves, vampires, elves and witches and warlocks truly exist. Everything changes when her family is attacked, leaving her orphaned and in the care of the man she believes is her uncle. But little does Davina know this isn’t the first time Davina has been left orphaned and the ones that raised her are not her parents. She has no idea just how important she is and how the magical world relies on her for their survival. Will the local Alpha of the Palmetto Pack be able to accept that Davina is his mate, despite her being the very reason his father is dead? Their meeting will spark a series of events that will unfold the mystery of Davina’s past and what she truly is.

Warning: 18+, Sexual content, abuse, rape, violence!!! "Hunter let me go," I whimpered as he leaned in and took a whiff of my scent from my neck. My mind and heart, none of it were willing to accept the closeness but my body was yearning to submit. My nipples brushed against his solid naked chest and a zap of electricity attacked my core resulting in the moisture gathering in my sensitive folds. He moved his hand and cupped my bottom, earning a gasp from me. "This body of yours. IT'S. MINE." He growled. "And I'll do anything to make sure that you get this in your head even if it means to get you on my bed and make you submit over and over again." And then he tore my panty with one pull. *** When on Aria's Eighteen birthday her bully, Alpha Hunter Rodriguez, turned out to be her mate, she could not be more devastated. But destiny wanted something else and once the mysterious rouge attacks began, putting everyone's lives in danger. For the pack--Aria and Hunter had to work together to overcome the storm. Where there was Hunter's realization of his mistakes, there was Aria's fight to resist the mate bond and her feelings. But in this ever-growing fire and electric pull between them, there was someone who wanted to tear them apart and Aria became the main attraction of the one regulating the attacks. But they did not know that the unknown enemy they had to fight was sheltering under their own pack in disguise and after the pack, it was Aria who was at the main risk. The real enemy only had one rule--Whether he'd claim or...he'd kill. Can Hunter Rodriguez save his mate or it's going to be too late?

"You need to shut up baby. Let me take care of your needs. Can you do that for me?" He unzipped my dress, as it falls freely down to the floor. ***** This lifestyle is not for everyone. That was the first warning, that she got from the woman. She's in need of cash. Her parents suddenly got a divorce. Leaving her to struggle with her financial education alone. She never imagines at the end of her college years to be like this. Gone was the lifestyle that she used to have. The best friends, and even the boyfriend. She jumped at the first chance to be a sugar baby. Because deep down she knew that she needed the money, that it will be over in a year. Then she can find a job and move on with her life. ********** He never needed a girlfriend. They're always too needy for his time. And time was the one thing that he treasure. He's a workaholic. He likes the arrangement of a sugar baby where he can pay a sum of money for a companion of a young attractive woman. His friend actually suggested the idea. With the last sugar baby being too attached to him. It's time for him to find another one. A less demanding one. ********** Will he get what he paid for? *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*.