Funny Sexual Jokes

This book is authored by Mary D. Sant. "What things are not under your control tonight?" I gave my best smile, leaning against the wall. He came closer with a dark and hungry expression, so close, his hands reached for my face, and he pressed his body against mine. His mouth took mine eagerly, a little rudely. His tongue left me breathless. “If you don't go with me, I'll fuck you right here.” He whispered. __________________________ Katherine kept her virginity for years even after she turned 18. But one day, she met an extremely sexual man Nathan Ryan in the club. He had the most seductive blue eyes she has ever seen, a well-defined chin, almost golden blonde hair, full lips, perfectly drawn, and the most amazing smile, with perfect teeth and those damn dimples. Incredibly sexy. She and he had a beautiful and hot one-night stand... Katherine thought she might not meet the man again. But fate has another plan Katherine is about to take on the job of assistant to a billionaire who owns one of the biggest companies in the country and is known to be a conquering, authoritative and completely irresistible man. He is Nathan Ryan! Will Kate be able to resist the charms of this attractive, powerful and seductive man? Read to know a relationship torn between anger and the uncontrollable desire for pleasure. Warning: R18+, Only for mature readers.

Kahapon lang ay single pa siya. Ngunit ngayong araw na ito, magiging Mrs. Catherine Villanueva na siya. Pakiramdam niya ay nabudol-budol siya ng Daddy niya. Paano siya nitong napapayag makasal sa isang lalaking ni hindi man lang niya minahal. Bakit nga ba siya pumayag sa gustong mangyari ng Daddy niya porke’t iniyakan lang siya nito? Ngunit ang mas lalong nakakasindak, ipapakasal siya nito sa isang lalaking lantaran namang umamin sa kanya na isa itong member ng LGBTQIA community. Feeling tuloy niya, um-order lang ng mapapangasawa niya online ang Daddy niya, may defect pa. May defect dahil lalaki rin ang hilig nito at hindi babae. At no return, no exchange na pala ang kasunduang ito dahil legit ang marriage contract nilang dalawa. Hindi ito isang panaginip lang. Ngunit naisip niyang dahil lalaki rin ang type ng asawa niya, at least ay safe siya kasama nito. Malaya siyang makakapagbihis sa harapan nito at alam niyang kahit anong gawin niya, wala talagang mangyayari sa kanilang dalawa. Pero kung bakla ito bakit may girlfriend ito? At bakit, unti-unti, parang nakakaramdam na siya ng selos sa tuwing makikita niya ito kasama ng girlfriend nito? Hanggang isang araw ay makita niya ang asawa, not just one but two. Namamalikmata lang ba siya or sadyang may kakambal ito? Isang member ng LGBTQIA community na si Anthony. At isang lalaking-lalaki na si Andy. Pero kanino sa dalawang ito ba siya talaga ikinasal?

***Completed just editing***She is not what anyone expected. She lived in fear for so long it ruled her. She was strong and hated to be judged. She finds herself and her destiny. She will not let anyone bring her down not her past and not her mate. She is Ireland Barton.He thought what was important was to be the strong Alpha his pack needed. He did not like people to see weakness in him. He judged to quickly and it could cost him everything. Will he make the right decision or will it be too late? By the time he realizes what real strength is will he have lost it all? He is Young Alpha Oliver Silver.***This book will not be a classic love story. This will not be a story where the mate bond draws them together well maybe not at first. There will be triggers for sexual, physical, and emotional abuse through out this book. You may at times even hate the main characters. ***

Amalthea Romano is the most organized person you'd ever meet. From her closet, down to her study table, everything must be perfectly aligned. Ganoon din sa schedules niya! She's very goal oriented. She planned to graduate college, run the family business, get married eventually or maybe spend the rest of her life with her beloved pets. But one Sunday morning ruins it all. Papaanong biglang nasingit sa schedule niya ang maging babysitter?

"You are mine, Princess. For the next two months, I own this body and you will not give it out to any other man. I own every fucking inch of this body." Dante trailed her boob with the flogger. * Mireille had been a good girl all her life, sheltered by her protective brother until he goes on a three months travel. Mireille has to stay with his best friend whom she last saw in highschool. Mireille thinks she would finally be free from her brother's protectiveness but she turns out to be wrong as her brother's best friend is a worse version of her brother... Protective and possessive. Mireille wants to hate him but it seems to be impossible to hate a man as hot as Dante Romano. Hot, sexy and a billionaire mafia boss, Dante wants to make Mireille nothing more than his best friend's sister but it seems impossible with the heat that runs through their bodies with their every contact. She is his innocent princess and she is supposed to remain so but when lust pulls her close, she becomes his woman, his possession, the Bad Boy's Princess. But there are many more secrets lurking around, secrets insistent on pulling Mireille out of her innocent lifestyle. Note: This book contains mature scenes including violent scenes and plenty of explicit sexual scenes.

Warning : mature sexual contents, read at your own risk. "Where are you going? " his deep morning voice rumbled. There goes my plan for a quiet escape. My throat clogged up tight, I couldn't face him... I didn't want to Those intense orbs made me squirm internally, my state of undress not helping the situation. I swallowed hard and met his gaze squarely. "last night was a ..mistake ..a lustful fling .... It's over, you should leave " I said tonelessly, my face void of any of the emotions I felt inside. How he moved so swiftly I didn't know, but next I was pressed against his naked hard chest. "Is that what you think? " I didn't want to look into his gaze, but his voice compelled me to. "That's exactly what it is " I repeated. I followed the trail of his gaze down to his belt which lay carelessly the floor. The one he had used on me , in many ways so dirty and sinful. The corners of his lips twitched in a smirk that made my heart leaped at a furious pace. "You are so wrong about that, i'll fucking show you just how much! " he growled, grabbing a fist of my air, he feasted on my lips. It was supposed to be just one night, I was supposed to leave before he awoke. So how did one passionate night lead to such a consuming obsession that threatened to scorch me and scald me until there was nothing left. Find out in the story of Mel and Sebastian (this is a sequel to the bully's obsession) I recommend you read book one before this for better understanding.

Ikakasal na lang ang bachelorette na si Alina Lovia, pero sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari ay bigla siyang napunta sa tapat ng isang lumang apartment habang nakasuot pa rin ng wedding gown. Laking-gulat niya nang tumagos siya sa dingding ng apartment na ‘yon at doon niya nakita ang isang lalaking hubu’t hubad habang nilalaro ang sarili nitong ari. Doon niya napagtanto na para bang isa na lamang siyang kaluluwa. Hindi niya alam kung paano siya namatay o kung may pumatay ba sa kaniya. Habang kaluluwa na lang siya, doon niya nalaman kung sino sa pamilya niya ang kakampi, kaaway at kung sino ang nagmamahal sa kaniya. Habang tumatagal din na palagi siyang nakabuntot kay Corvus Ferrara at napapanuod niya ang ginawa nito habang nakahubu’t hubad ay tila ba natatakam na siya sa rito. Naging pangarap niyang mabuhay ulit para kay Corvus. Naging pangarap niya na matikman ito. Ano ang magiging koneksyon ni Corvus Ferrara sa kaniya? Bakit siya lang ang nakarinig at nakikita sa kaniya? Ito ba ang makakatulong sa kaniya para malaman kung ano ang nangyari sa kaniya at kung sino ang pumatay sa kaniya? Pero ang magandang tanong, tutulungan kaya siya ni Corvus?

Lucille is beautiful, smart, kind, and rich. Unfortunately, she is also brokenhearted. Having her heart and whole life shattered to pieces, she vows never to fall in love again. But when love knocks on her door once more, in the form of two drop dead, panty-melting gorgeous men, Lucille decides that this time, she will be the ultimate playgirl. Japer, a playboy, finds it astonishing when a girl did not swoon at the sight of him. More so when she told him she only wants to be friends or if he wants, friends with benefits. What happens when the playboy falls in love and is now the one being played? Boo is a super powerful tycoon. He's rich beyond limits but despite all his power, like his name, he feels like a hollow lifeless ghost. A girl changes all this when she makes him see how fun life can be, especially because he has all the money in the world. But can money buy him her love?

Shane is my best kept secret. The more time that passes the tighter my hold on him gets. If my father thinks he can take my right to find my mate from me and sell me off to the highest bitter than he's got another thing coming. I'll take what I want and give the only thing he thinks I have of value to whoever I choose. And who do I choose? I choose Shane. Adea is the air I breathe. I won't let anyone come between us and I won't let the Moon Goddess try and decide who she gets to be with. Whether it be her father or destiny, no one will get in my way. Fate? Mate? These words mean nothing to me. No one wants us together, but the jokes on them, I'll decide my own destiny. Adea Biscoff is that destiny. In a new life where the curse has been broken, can everything unfold how it was supposed to? Will the star-crossed lovers finally have their chance? What happens when Shane remembers everything, but refuses to make the same mistake again? The tables have been turned and Shane realizes who the real villain has been all along. What if in this life, Shane demands she be the one to pay? ! Sexual and physical abuse may be triggering for survivors !

((A/N)) If you haven't read "Lycan King" you should definitely read it for a better understanding of "Lycan Blood." or you can just read this book and go back and read "Lycan King" your choice.****************I follow closely behind Lucious through the dark forest, looking at his tensed back. "I was only helping. I know you're angry Lucious, but you can't go around doing whatever you want anymore. My father has laws in place for these types of things." If Lucious would've wiped that pack out, he would've had to answer to father for his crimes.Lucious turn around glaring at me. "Don't tell me what I can and cannot do! I don't give a fuck about your father nor his laws! He's not my fucking king!" He spits the words at me, before turning walking away.I let out a sigh, looking at his back as he disappears through the thick trees of the forest. He may not accept father as his king, but that doesn't mean father won't punish him for the laws he breaks.************************************** After all the killing and fighting, Lisa just wants for things to go back to the way they once were, but the peacefulness of her old life back in the human world is long gone. Lisa is now shoved into the world that she was always meant to be a part of. She's no longer in the human world, living by the human ways and laws. Here its killed or be killed. While Lisa fight for her respect amongst the wolves, Lucious is planning to get revenge for the death of his father and friends.