Funny Sexual Jokes

When Elizabeth Walter gets fired from work, getting home to meet her boyfriend molded to the thighs of another lady, screaming her brains out against the wall, all hell, let's loose. Her once upon a fairytale life is shattered. Having loads of loans to pay back, Elizabeth's once 'alright' life becomes a disaster until she met him. The one whose name strikes fear into the heart of others Zane Creed. A workaholic with no social life, he needs a date for a business dinner. She needs the money for the next day. Just when Elizabeth's love life gets trampled on, A tall manly blue-eyed demon comes crashing in, making Elizabeth cream her thongs with just a look. Elizabeth might just be getting more than she bargained for when she becomes 'The Escort.'

From New York Times bestselling author Krista Lakes, comes a sexy standalone novel about the baddest bad boy doctor and the sweet little nurse that he falls for. When I left my small hometown years ago, I never expected to come back. I certainly never expected that when I did, I'd be working for him. He's the town's doctor. He's supposed to be a respectable member of society, a pillar for the community. He's supposed to have come a long way from the bad boy who rode a motorcycle in high school. But he hasn't. One glance from those lustful eyes looking at me tells me that he has the same voracious appetites that he did when we were younger. Only it's not quite the same stare. It's more urgent. It's more intense. I'm not the same nerdy girl who tutored him. I've grown up, developed fertile curves that I know he finds irresistible. In this small town, rumors travel fast, and the family doctor can't be seen as a player. So he does try to resist. And I do too. But with every smoldering glance and moment of sexual tension, we find our barriers breaking down. After a stressful night of touch-and-go baby delivery, a moment of elation overcomes our inhibitions. It seems like maybe we'll need to confront those rumors sooner rather than later, especially before I begin to show the results of that night. Can I give this doctor the family he has always desired?

“She's rich, he's a bad boy, a burglar. She's submissive, he's tractable. She's caged, he's wild. She yearns for freedom, his life is adventurous. As the tale says "Opposite attracts!" But then there's this rich man who's overly obsessed with the innocent heiress. A sweet, romantic, funny story filled with lots of action and love but with dark side, abuse and Dark Romance.” 18+ Hot Steamy scenes!

When a young girl moves to a new town with her Uncle and cousins, she has to complete her senior year at a new school. Her love for tattoos, fighting, fast cars and family is what keeps her going. She tries to ignore everyone to make it through her last year but that doesn't last when she catches the eyes of 3 brothers. The Brothers run the school and town they live in. All 3 are drop dead gorgeous and used to everyone sucking up to them. They have girls all over them every week but none have committed. Their love for all things fast, cars, women and motorcycles, are the only thing on their minds. That is until a new girl shows up and doesn't treat them like everyone else. Her smart mouth, tattoos and attitude intrigue the brothers and they can't wait to have her. Will she give into their advances? Will the brothers give up their fast ways?? Just have to wait and see...... **THIS STORY HAS A LOT OF GRAPHIC SEX SCENES AND SEXUAL SITUATIONS. DO NOT READ IF UNDER 18 OR IF YOU AREN'T INTO THIS TYPE OF BOOK**

Penelope Samiento ang isang babaeng hindi man gano'n ka talino at kagandahan ngunit siya naman ay puno ng saya, nangangarap ng isang lalaking kinahuhumalingan niya si Darrel Lim, isang vocalista ng banda sa school nila. Suplado pero gwapo at higit sa lahat matalino. Paano kaya kung pagbuklodin sila ng tadhana at itinakdang ikasal para sa isang kasunduan? Magiging masaya kaya sila sa kabila ng pagiging magka-iba?

Alexander is Jeselle's one true love, well as for her. He is the man of her dreams. Lahat ay naganap na naaayon sa kaniyang mga ninaais na mangyari, na para bang kakampi niya ang tadhana na handa siyang tulungan ano mang oras. Nang dahil sa isang kontrata, naisakatuparan niya ang kaniyang tanging pinapangarap na buhay. Nang dahil sa kasunduang ito ay nagkasalubong ang kanilang mga magkakaibang estado ng pamumuhay at mundo na siyang ikinagulat ng isa't isa. At sa kanilang pagpapatuloy, marami silang natutuhan sa isa't isa na naging susi upang sila'y magkamabutihan. Maayos na ang lahat, until that moment when she found out that everything is not as it seems.

Book I of the 'His' series. What does Alexandria do when the landlord decides to increase the rent? She looks for a roommate!! Mason King just moved to town and he's looking for an apartment. He comes across Alexandria's request for a roommate. He thought she was just a quiet,shy,nerdy girl. But boy was he wrong!

Ava, is a woman with big ambitions who will do her best to get them. She is capable of sacrificing anything, including the one she loves. Because of her dream, Ava had to leave. Harris is a man who is unconcerned about his own life. Everyday he will get drunk, as well as play with the hearts of the women he'll meet. When he met Ava, everything changed. He transformed into a decent man for Ava. Misty, on the other hand, is an obsessed hopeless romantic. Envy-filled woman, she was consumed by rage, allowing her to accomplish anything she wanted. Regardless of what will happen, she will do anything to make Ava miserable. Will Harris love be strong enough to wait Ava's return? Will they return to each other's arms when the right time comes? After everything Ava had to sacrifice, can she still choose to be with Harris?

Christopher Grayston solo quería casarse para evitar que su abuelo le pidiera que se volviera a casar. Como resultado, se casó con una chica que conoció fuera de los asuntos civiles. Quería casarse con alguien con quien nunca consumarían su matrimonio. Así que se conformó con una joven que acababa de conocer parada fuera de la Oficina de Asuntos Civiles, sabiendo muy bien que no la tocaría porque era solo una niña. Camila Mendoza encajaba bien desde pequeña, aunque era una tentadora sin siquiera intentarlo. Los dos firmaron los certificados de matrimonio y siguieron caminos separados. Sin embargo, 3 meses después, el destino los unió. Camila salvó a un niño y más tarde se enteró de que el niño que salvó era el hijo de su marido. A Camila nunca la importó cómo le dé su marido dirigía se vida hasta que conoció a el hijo. Todo estaba bien hasta que su exesposa volvió a tropezar en su vida.Un hombre que siempre está haciendo titulares sobre su vida sexual y una esposa en una misión. ¿Quién triunfaría?

A young girl is married off to an Alpha by her parents against her will. She is forced to leave her old life behind and move in with the Alpha, who is known for his power and control within the pack. Despite her initial resistance, she eventually comes to accept her new life alongside Alpha Aiden. However, she soon realizes that the Alpha is a cruel and abusive man who uses his position to control her every move. Aiden wanted the title and in order to receive it he had to take a wife. As Grabiela is about to enter his life, Aiden decides to make it fun and turn it into a game, with her as the main pond, between him and his friends. When the abuse and lies weigh too heavy she realizes that she has to leave but will he let her go? Or will he tighten his grip and lock the doors? ”I’m guessing the meeting wasn't to talk about the food arrangements for when you take over the pack?” ”They’ve arranged for me to marry Gabriella Santos from the Trimoon pack,” ”So what, when have you ever backed down from a challenge?” ”How is tying my life to another in marriage, a challenge?” ”The challenge is to make her submit to you.” ”We’ll make it more interesting-” ”- I bet you won't be able to get it done before the end of the year,” ”I’ll have her submitting to me by the end of the month,” ”Not just submit. You have to have her wrapped around your finger, hopelessly in love with you by the end of the year,” ”Ten grand to whoever wins,” ***Explicit sexual abuse, violence, and otherwise TW scenes later in the book. Will warn in Author Notes***