Funny Sexual Jokes

DE GUIA SERIES 1: The Hate List Magpapakasal na ang boyfriend of 5 years ni Erin - pero hindi siya ang bride. At ang mang-aagaw na pakakasalan, isusuot ang pangarap niyang wedding gown! Sa ibang pang balita, na-promote ang ex-bestfriend niyang two-faced. Nabigyan ng entrepreneurial award ang ex-boss niyang kontrabida. At lumalapad ang waistline niya! Nang asarin siya ng daigdigan, parang sasabog na bulkan si Erin. Isinumpa niyang lintek lang ang walang ganti! Ito ay isang kuwentong punumpuno ng galit, paghihiganti, kapalpakan at nagwawalang hormones. Na may kasamang isang masugid na lalaking nangangako ng katakam-takam na abs kay Erin - si Adam. Will she get to the end of her hate list or will she cross out everything and find the love of her life beside her?

"Fangs, Friends, and Fumbling Feelings." 
 "What’s scarier—falling for your best friend or turning into a werewolf?” Dale thought coming out to his parents was the hardest thing he'd ever do. Then, he turned into a werewolf. With his best friend, Kirk—a self-appointed expert in bad advice and a fabulous wardrobe—by his side, Dale must navigate love, fur, and family drama… without biting anyone’s head off. All Dale had wanted was a little night out, but when a mysterious bite left him with strange urges and even stranger body hair, he realized his life just got much hairier. With his best friend Kirk, who’s more than happy to point out every supernatural misstep, Dale is plunged into a werewolf love triangle that pits him against tradition, transformation, and a particularly hunky alpha named Juke. As Dale fumbles through newfound powers (and fur), he has to figure out if love is worth the bite or if he’s doomed to be the next gay virgin martyr of the werewolf world. One thing’s for sure: Dale’s love life is about to get beastly! After a disastrous night out, Dale wakes up to find he’s gone from worrying about his rent to worrying about his claws. Now, with Kirk playing cheerleader and reluctant werewolf coach, Dale must decide between life as a lone wolf or rolling with the pack (and the ridiculously attractive alpha Juke). In this romcom packed with supernatural mishaps and laugh-out-loud twists, Dale learns that sometimes, love bites—and he just might like it.

Letche naman oh! Kung hindi ko lang talaga kailangan ng perang pang piyansa kay Itay hinding hindi ako sasapi sa grupo ni Buknoy. At malay ko bang ang target namin ay isa pa lang bigatin na ubod ng gwapo, yaman, yabang, at saksakan ng pagkababaero bukod dun napaka-daldal niya at ang bastos pa ng bunganga. Walang iba kundi si Sebastian Cain Guevarra. Ang lalaking mas magulo pa sa buhok mo sa private part. Paano ba naman—"I'll give you two option, Miss. Pumili ka, kulong o magiging alipin ko?" seryoso ngunit nakangising tanong niya. Humakbang siya papalapit at inilapit ang mukha sa aking tenga saka bumulong. "Choose wisely cutie..." sabay kindat niya. ©CrystalineG

Arianna Reynolds, second year med school student of King's University attracts the hottest player to ever exsist in the city of London, Damon King, who practices his internal training for cardiology. She was betwichingly gorgeous, and alluringly innocent. A perfect angel with good grades and a little devil who loves chaos. Damon King, the most arrogant badboy and the most cruel heartbreaker. His world toppled when she entered all in her glory as his junior. She excited him, and challenged him when she acted blind to his charms. His excitement turned to anger when she punched him. He was evrything she hated in a guy. Nonetheless, she found him slowly changing for her. Her brown orbs always seemed to tempt his heart with whirlpool of exotic emotions and he was sucked into it when ever she locked his gaze with him. ------------- "You are mine Ria," he yelled slamming her onto the nearby locker. "No," she deadpanned with annoyance. "I love you," he confessed nearning her petite figure, invading her personal space. Her breath clogged for a second as she was stunned with his confession. Her eyes hardened again when she said," No, you wanna play with me." Pushing him back lightly she looked away. "I need you Ria, trust me. It's no sick game of mine. I am had over heels for you. Please, just give me a chance," he begged her with moist eyes, closing the distance again. Her stance grew guarded as the cruel heart breaker was confessing with vehement emotions stirring in his eyes. "Prove that your intentions are true," she said pushing him back from her personal space. Leaving him drown in her thoughts, she walked away from him. "You are mine Ria. I will prove myself worthy of your love. You belong only to me," he promised to himself watching her retreating figure.

Seni sastra adalah sesuatu yang indah dan mendamaikan hatinya, tetapi sosok Bintang lah yang selalu jadi sumber terangnya. Di mata Cinta yang terlahir dari kasta pembantu, Bintang adalah sosok mustahil yang tak mungkin digapai. Cinta hanya bisa melukiskan indahnya hanya dengan bait-bait puisi yang dibuatnya secara diam-diam. Alur cintanya mulai berubah kala sahabatnya " Sang Berandal" mulai menawarkan kontrak pada gadis culun nan polos yang tak paham apa itu makna cinta. Sebuah kontrak bergaransi seumur hidup yang mengajarinya arti cinta. Sebuah perjanjian di mana Cinta akan berguru selama setahun penuh secara "gratis" supaya bisa mendapatkan pujaan hatinya : Bintang Alexander Zulkarnsen, anak konglomerat —juragan sapi— terkenal yang tingkat keangkuhannya lebih tinggi dari gunung Everest. Tiga syaratnya terdengar begitu mudah. Yang pertama, tak boleh berkata tidak apapun situasinya. Yang kedua, tak boleh mengganti target. Dan yang terakhir : tidak boleh jatuh cinta pada mentornya. Jika Cinta melanggar salah satu syarat : ia harus membayar satu miliyar rupiah pada sang mentor.

The Falcon Ridge Series Book 1 Anna Riker: I have no patience for the military Security unit. I have a giant chip on my shoulder and it didn't help when one soldier almost gets himself killed and I have to save him. There's something about this soldier that gets under my skin. I don't want to find out, but the closer I get, the more I can't help myself. River Blake: I'm next in line to take over my pack. I joined the security unit over a year ago to appease my father. When he says I need my fated mate to get my title, yeah I'm angry. Until I see a woman, dressed in leather. She says our future together could never be, but I'll do everything i can to prove to her that she's for me and I'm for her. Michael Dorian: I know Im being used. I didn't mind at first, but now things have changed. When she meets some soldier, a rage boils in my gut. Like a powder keg ready to explode. I have to prove to Anna she's for me and only me. And I will. Even if I have commit treason and murder to do it.

Frankie (Isa as the birth name) has not had an easy life since her father killed her mother when she was six. She gets minimum age working as a waitress and it's not enough to get good housing. Her fate changes when she meets Trey, a business tycoon at the bar she waitresses. Frankie's first impression of Trey is that he is rude, arrogant and entitled. Trey on the other hand is fascinated by how Frankie dresses and behaves and he is sure he is going to sleep with her which he does finally and becomes obsessed. Frankie's best friend and coworker at the bar introduces her to an extra hustle which involves supplying meds to pharmacies. Frankie has no idea that they supply contraband drugs and that one of the pharmacies affected is Trey's, who owns a chain of them. When Trey finds out that the drugs being supplied are fake, he launches an investigation and Frankie is in the middle of it. He is shell-bent on punishing her so he hires her as a help and doesn't pay her. Frankie knows she can't do anything about it because she doesn't want to go to jail so she lets him treat her however he wants. She ends up losing her and Trey's baby (he had no idea she was pregnant), and hates him more. Trey is devastated and does anything to make up for it. She finally forgives him and they get back together.

Vida was a waitress who put in eight hours a day in order to afford her $300 monthly rent and three square meals a day. She enjoyed each and every fantasy story as if it were true, and she longed to live in and explore the worlds depicted there. But she was shocked to find out it was true. Meeting a royal is the last thing she expected, but it happens. She does, indeed. Her visions morphed into steamy fantasies, and before she knew it, the handsome stranger was standing outside the bar where she worked. The question recurs, "Am I dreaming again?" They repeated in unison, looking into each other's eyes in disbelief. What happened afterwards is ancient history. And the ride was quite exciting.

When Axel and Ellen’s mother, the Great white witch, dies giving birth to werewolf children, they are given up for adoption. Not knowing who they really are. Axel was raised by humans and had to navigate being a wolf with no one to turn to, but his best friend. Lucy is also a wolf raised by human parents. Axels younger sister shows up, revealing his family history. Everything Axel thought he knew about himself is tossed into a tornado of chaos as he tries to be the man he was raised to be while also embracing who he really is. Another witch adopted Ellen Axel's twin sister. She thought she had no wolf, but her mother trapped her wolf to protect her from her cruel grandfather, who would have her killed for being a female firstborn and a half-breed, and he called them. They must battle their genetic history while embracing their destiny and trying to let their mates love them.

Dahlia is an African-American young lady with ambitions to become very successful in the Tech industry and help give back to her Mum for all her sacrifices as a single parent. While on her journey to success she encounters some very interesting people and falls deeply in love with the only man she tells herself to avoid at all costs......so what will Dahlia do when Japanese billionaire Dai Japana only wants her in his bed and life despite their misunderstandings.