Funny Sexual Jokes

Synopsis He close the expanse between us and I won't lie I close my eyes for a bit because I don't know how it got so hot and steamy between us. His lips touch my jaw, making me tremble. He continues a line of kisses along my jawline and I nod. I know he is right, I have no idea what this is. As his lips touch the spot just below my ear I moan and he does it again, this time sucking the skin. That electricity between us appears again, this time more wild than ever before. Why is this always happening with him? I shut my mind off from my thoughts and wrap my arms around his neck to steady myself. he rubs his thumb over my bottom lip and in a swift he crash his lips with me and deepen it immediately and all sexual attachment aroused and I felt unsatisfied. His lips move in sync with mine as he eat out my lower lips and I moan out unconsciously. He palm my ass cheek in his hand. He raise me up and I wrap my leg round his torso with no one ready to pull back. He kiss me passionately and it felt like he had always wanted to do this for so long because he poured all his love into it.

️ Warning: This story contains violence/graphic sexual scenes. Please read at your own risk! She was abducted after her wedding, and the abductor was unaware that she was a wife of the sadist mafia boss. They claimed the merciless punishment! Sa edad na biyente ay ikinasal si Kira sa lalaking kumupkop sa kaniya noong dose anyos siya. Isang bilyonaryong ni minsan ay hindi niya nasilayan ang mukha dahil may suot na maskara. Nagkaroon siya ng malalang trauma matapos masaksihan ang karumal-dumal na pagpatay sa kaniyang mga magulang. Isang proseso ang ginawa sa kaniya upang mabura ang kaniyang alaala, ngunit tila isinilang siyang muli, inosente, limitado lamang ang kaalaman. Akala niya’y matanda na ang kaniyang asawa na si Don Dimitri, ngunit nawindang siya nang masilayan ang mukha nito. Hindi naman ito matanda, kundi isang imahe ng perpektong lalake. Subali’t sa kabila niyon ay napupuno ng misteryo ang pagkatao nito. Matutunan ba niyang mahalin ang isang katulad nito? O isa rin itong banta sa kaniyang buhay?

18 year-old orphan, Rose Cintilar, wants to fulfill her father's dream of becoming a stylist. She's talented but has the worst luck. When the senior stylist stole her design again, Rose decided to change her fate and apply for a new job: the assistant to singer, songwriter 'Rum'. But why would an international superstar pick a zero for an assistant? Maybe something isn’t right with Rum. Something about him feels superhuman…and Rose is pulled into the world beyond her own; a world of werewolves, the dark whims and the Moon Goddess; and as the Alpha King's mate, Rose must save him from clutches or the dark whims, or the Moon Goddess would fall and plunge both world into darkness. But why would an Alpha king need the help of a mere human? She's not a werewolf... is she?

I needed this. I need to let go. She thought as she tried to justify her sexual feelings towards the sexy beast tangled to her body. "Stop me..." Matteo whispered harshly in her ear, but she was moaning to his kisses and was letting him take off her dress as he lay her down to the bed. He groaned when he saw her slender body which strangely aroused him more than those voluptuous stripper bodies that he had grown accustomed to. "Amara, baby..." ***** She's the daughter of one of the most influential families in the world. She grew up as one of the richest trust fund kids, and she lives a very lavish and luxurious lifestyle. But what people didn't know was the truth of her bloodline. She's the love child, of one of the richest men in the world. She was daddy's little princess. All three of her biological brothers, the true heir of her father's wealth hated her. His wife, her fake mom despised her, never acknowledge her existence unless it was for social occasions. ...... This is a story about the richest, deception, love, humor, hate, heartbreak, and all the drama you can fit into a book. Follow me, find out who's the lucky guy who gets to live his ever after with our madame billionaire. And for all of you who has been stalking on our townies... Take a wild guess, who knows, you might be right ....... *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*

The last thing William "Liam" Windsor, Earl of Clifton and soon to be the Duke of Ashbourne, need was to cross paths with his ex-girlfriend who had broken his heart ten years ago. However, fate dictated otherwise when he accidentally slipped into her bed and was caught red-handed. Driven by his revenge, he made her agree to marry him and planned on using her for his own personal agenda. Perhaps even made her fall for him then broke her heart in the process. Never had he imagined that instead of succeeding, he would be the one to fall head over heels for her for the second time. Disclaimer: 18+ Contains explicit sexual content and use of profanity. Read at your own risk.

Emma has lived her entire life in the same house, the house her parents left for her. She has been taught that everyone has some good in them, you only need to find it. She believes that the world is a good place. That changes the night she gets kidnapped and end up in the middle of a mafia family. The men that brought her there show her the other side of life. Bane lives his life in the darkness. His world is filled with pain, violence and the dark side of humanity. As the stapler comes flying at him, he sees an angel for the first time in his life. Someone that peeks his interest and makes him crave to pull her down to his world, to corrupt her. Bane offers Emma a way out, it's not a good deal, at least not for Emma. But it is better than the alternative. Better the devil you know then the devil you don't, right? Trigger warnings: Assult Sexual assult BDSM Explicit language

Umuwi si Aliya probinsya nila. Gusto niyang ipahinga muna ang sarili sa toxic na mundo ng trabaho niya ang pagiging call center agent. Lalo na at gusto din ng kanyang ama at kapatid na magbakasyon siya. Doon niya makilala ang binatang mekaniko na si Jayson Fuentebella, na kapit bahay din nila. Madaming babaeng umaaligid dito at mga nagpapalipad hangin. Pero ang labis na ipinagtataka ni Aliya, ay ang pagiging masungit nito sa kanya. Habang, hindi naman nagsusungit sa iba at maayos naman ang pakikitungo nito sa ibang kadalagahan na katulad niya. Kapag bumibili siya sa grocery store nito ay palaging pasinghal, at hindi man lang kakikitahan ng lambing tulad sa iba. May pag-asa pa kayang mapalambot ni Aliya ang matigas at masungit na binata? Kung sa simula pa lang na lalapit siya ay itinataboy na siya nito.

Book Two of Cruel Intentions Series. This book can be read as a stand-alone, but for better comprehension of the characters, it is recommended to be read after Betrayed the Mafia. Theodore is the second in command of the Irish mob in New York. He is known as a player, use and toss. Theo hates relationships seeing them as useless. Theodore is funny and lighthearted around his friends, but when dealing with business, he is ruthless and heartless. His cold heart always prevails. Theodore is manipulative and a great liar. Theodore is chosen to help forge an alliance between the Irish and the Americans. He needs to marry the daughter of the boss. He takes his job and position seriously and accepts his fate. He doesn’t believe in love anyway, so that nothing will change for him. He will just have to wear a ring and play house. What happens when she is the girl he has avoided for years, the girl he feels the need to protect? He sees her as a weakness. He condones how she lives her life, but the day he allows himself to get close to her, everything changes, and his addiction to her becomes impossible to resist. Theodore is everything Everly has always dreamed of as an online romance novel writer, and she is inexperienced and sassy. The only way she has experienced love is through her books. She lives almost in captivity because of who she is, and Her purity will be negotiable. But once Theodore pops her cherry, he can’t stay away, involving her in a thread of lies and manipulations that she could only imagine as a plot of one of her books.

WARNING: The following are erotic long stories. If you're offended by explicit sex, this isn't for you... and I'm not sorry in the slightest if that's your reaction. This one was a lot of fun to write (and re-write) because it allowed me to really let loose with some naughty stuff! Enjoy. BUILDED ATTRACTION PAINT OF PASSION FORBIDDEN PLACE ROMANCE & LOVE HUNGER THAT MUST BE FED LOVE IN BLACK SEXUAL OBSESSION MORE THAN JUST A JOB RE-EDUCATION PRIVATE SEX THE STOCKINGS SEARCHING FOR PLEASURE HEIGHTS OF DESIRE JULIA'S PASSION THE CLUB DANGEROUS GAMES THE PRICE OF LOSING GAMES OF DOMINATION THE PREY Her BDSM Desires SENSUAL REALM WORLD OF UNINHIBITED SEXUALITY OUT IN THE WILD REKINDLED PASSION

Gwapo, simpatiko at kilalang magaling na negosyante. Sino nga bang babae ang hindi maghahangad na paibigin ang isang Gabriel Villaflor? Bukod kasi sa kagwapuhan nito, ito rin ang nagmamay ari ng kilalang pagawaan ng ilang fashion trends clothes sa bansa. Mayaman man pero naipagkasundo na itong ipakasal sa anak ng matalik na kaibigan ng pamilya, kay Irish No. Kabaligtaran ng ideal girl n'ya, at kahit pa sa panaginip ay hindi ito ang tipo n'yang babae. May mabubuo kayang pag-ibig sa pagitan nila? Kung maging ang dalaga ay hindi rin s'ya ang pinapangarap nitong makasama?