Funny Valentine Novels & Stories

Raising an eyebrow, Margret teased, "Feeling jealous, are you?" Valentine's expression soured at the insinuation. "Jealous? No, I'm furious. After all their attempts to have me killed, now they're playing house like some storybook family." Margret let out a chuckle before probing further, "So, you're over Andrea Singers, then?" Hearing that name made Valentine's face darken further. He spat out his words with disdain, "Meg, can you not repeat that name? It's nauseating and drives me up the wall."

My forehead stung, probably because a sharp rock cut into it. Laughter filled my earpiece, and tears of shame ran down my face as Nicole rubbed her shoe on me. Eventually, she stopped and pulled out 200 bucks. She tossed it at me with a smirk and said, “Here, take this and buy something nice for your parents. It’s Valentine’s Day after all.” She walked away and acted as if she had done me a favor. I felt humiliated. I tossed the money away and struggled to stand up. Suddenly, someone pointed a bright camera at my face.

I don't know what happened, so I just shook my head and took three pieces of toasted peanut and threw it in my mouth, and let my tongue savor its taste. “Are you guys ready?!”Loud question of the gay that many men yelled at with extreme excitement. “Show us Valentina! Show us Valentina!” Those words became a chant inside the club. I stood up, looking at the men who were eager to see whoever that Valentine was. “Valentina is just a myth, gentlemen!” They laughed at me, leaving my mind to ask in silence. Why are they mad to see that Valentina? “You don't have any idea, idiot!”

It was progress especially since he stopped caring about hurting others years ago. ******************** Valentine sat up with a weak smile when she saw Maya and Rhoda. The girls momentarily forgot about her health condition as they attacked her with hugs. “Thank goodness you are alive! We were so worried about you. How could you scare us like that?” Maya scolded. “Scare you?” Valentine chortled. “I thought it was impossible to scare the great Maya. Don’t let your enemies hear you, they might laugh,” she teased and Maya hit her.

“It was foolish to think you’d ever be Luna. I am always the better choice.” “Better choice?” I laughed a low, sarcastic laugh. “Is that why you force yourself on everyone you meet? Is that why you like to take away everything that rightfully belongs to me? My boyfriend for example? Don’t forget I caught you naked and having sex with him on my own bed…” Before I could complete my sentence, Valerie’s hand landed on my face, sending me a sharp slap that echoed across the hall. Almost everyone was staring at us now, some of them pulling out their phones to take videos and pictures as they tried to suppress their laughter. My face burned in embarrassment.

I accidentally found it in the forest this morning. I was planning to tell him the good news today. But now? It was time to break this five-year mate bond. …… After packing up my herbs for the day, I reached for my mate Marcus through our mindlink. "Honey, please come home early for Valentine's Day! I found something incredible!" His response came sharp and rushed: "Claire, we've got a crisis at the pack trading post. I have to deal with it!" "Where's Noah? You were supposed to pick him up from school!"

he called over his shoulder, ducking as Carmen swung her shoe at him. "Explain? EXPLAIN?" Carmen's voice rose to a shriek. "You drugged me! And put me on a plane without my consent! How dare you?!” "But It’s a surprise!” Liam protested, weaving around seats and then suddenly stopped shouting, “ Happy Valentine.” With his arm stretch out. Carmen skidded to a stop, breathing hard, her brow furrowing as she hissed through gritted teeth, “It’s November, you idiot.” “Is it?” he blinked. Then suddenly smiled again, "But still, it didn't matter. Valentine can be celebrated at anytime….”

I'd spent twenty minutes with a push-up bra and some contouring powder to make sure my girls were standing at attention, ready to greet the world, or at least, ready to greet William. It was Valentine's Day! My absolute, total, 100% favorite holiday in the whole galaxy. I just loved the pinks, the reds, the smell of expensive roses, and the way everyone acted like they were in a rom-com. But mostly, I loved the sex. Valentine's Day sex just hit different, like it was seasoned with extra sparkles and desperation. "Oh, you look sugarific!" Lauren squealed, clapping her hands. She was the calm, normal one of our trio, the kind of girl who actually remembered to pay the electric bill.

"That makes sense." Suddenly, Valen let out a loud, incredibly dramatic, teary voice. "Happy birthday in advance, little mate! It is not every day a girl turns twenty-one." I burst out laughing at his ridiculous face and kicked out my leg at his thigh. He caught my foot effortlessly mid-air, a wicked smirk spreading across his face. "Oh no you don't. What if I take this little kick as an invitation for round two?" Darian immediately swatted Valen’s large hand away from my ankle. "I think not, Valen. You have already had your turn."

He also said I needed to stay in a good mood, be careful with my diet and medication, and take good care of myself. Next to the medical report were two plane tickets for a seven-day trip to Isvalia. I initially planned to tell her on Valentine's Day, so I could relax with her before the surgery. Now, that was no longer needed. Nancy rushed back with the first-aid kit and rifled through it a few times before stopping. "Where's the ointment? Did you…" She cut herself off halfway through. I caught the fleeting expression on her face—guilt mixed with a hint of unease.