Hidup Terasa Mati 소설 & 이야기

Maybe I’m sitting calmly in the café reading a very unexciting book when I twitch once and fall face-first into my frappucino. DeadGirlWalking: I am done living in fear of what is inevitable. I need to feel alive again. SleepingBeast: You think me murdering you is going to make you feel alive? DeadGirlWalking: No, I think knowing that my day is coming soon will make life a lot more interesting until it does. And then when it finally does, I won’t have to think about it anymore at all. SleepingBeast: That’s dark. DeadGirlWalking: You’re homicide-for-hire and you’re calling me dark?

I hate that word. “The world is split into two sides of life and death. They hate each other as they cannot mix with each other. All my life I feared the notion of death and now that I am back, I know all the things I have to do, I no longer fear death. Life amaze me and death; it intrigue me more with every breath I take here.” “Your mate is fine. You are blessed with one hot headed mate, I have seen her through the memories of this shit, whom body I acquired. You are lucky to find her.” he said and smiled and I didn’t say anything.

“ Yes, and you know what? I'm actually prepared to die, because life definitely isn't worth living anymore.” *Wait,what?*

Nikolai shakes his head to himself. “And then it gets worse,you feel like you've die while you are still alive. You don’t feel anything anymore. No joy, no happiness. The only thing that seems to be present is a massive hole in your life, one that can never be filled. An emptiness that won’t go away.” “Yes,” I whisper through bleary eyes. “I wanted to die too, Rome.I know how it feels to want to join the person you love.” He grabs my hand over the table.

I am sitting here slightly terrified if it is my life, Matthew or both that shall be taken today, that I really do not know. They say that you will see your life flash before your eyes when you are near about going to die. Well, I say it is bullshit. All I can see is an asshole shoving his gun before my eyes. I know that it is only but a matter of time before he is going to pull that trigger.

“They don’t feel like dreams.” “No,” he agrees softly. I press my palms against my eyes. “Why does it feel like I died?” I whisper. Matteo’s hand stills. “Why would you say that?” “Because it feels like he lost something,” I say. “Like I left him. And he didn’t survive it.” Matteo’s jaw tightens. “You didn’t leave,” he says carefully. “How do you know?” “Because he wouldn’t be walking away now if he had already survived that once.”

They are what keep us alive. What could I choose? Between living like this where I can only find pain and suffering or choosing to live as the one who can feel nothing, not pleasure, not pain, no any other feeling, and in short, exist as a living dead? Maybe it was true, Death was easier than living. I got off the bed and walked into the shower. This was the second time I was taking a shower. No matter how much I washed and scrubbed my skin, for me, it felt like my parents’ blood was still there on my skin.

People always say when you're dead you won't feel a thing and all you see is a bright light leading you to the afterlife. Well... That's all a lie. When you die, you feel your spirit being disconnected with the world. You feel your life drawn from your body and you feel your self floating in the afterlife. You feel the conformation that you're dead. You don't see a thing at all. You see pure darkness you hear uninterrupted silence as you go deeper into the afterlife.

Never I’m my life had a felt so sick, which is surprising considering the amount of random dead things I’ve eaten. Closing my eyes my breathing slowed. Unable to find any comfort I sunk into the misery. The room spinning, it felt like the floor was adrift in the ocean. It tossed and turned, rocking back and forth. Candice had said it wasn’t lethal but this was the feeling of deaths door.

Every day feels like a monotonous existence as I wander aimlessly through the world, disconnected from the joys and passions that once defined me. Nothing can hurt me, and no one can kill me. I am an empty vessel, devoid of emotions and desires. The absence of pain or death has stripped away any sense of urgency or meaning from my existence. I am trapped in an eternal cycle of emptiness, forever longing for the spark of life that once consumed me. Some might take it as a gift to be immortal, but for me, it's a curse. A curse that I want to get rid of. Every day feels like an endless void as I yearn for the fleeting moments of happiness and purpose that used to fill my days. The weight of imm