Hidupku Hancur Karena Cinta Novels & Stories

When our trip starts and as I spent more time with her, something about her pulls me to fall deeper. My love for Janice wasn't completely forgotten back then when Zhanaia and I were just starting. It was still there, though not as strong as before, and I am no longer hoping that we will be back together again. For years of struggling with Brain Hemorrhage, I learn to accept the fact that I will die early, and romance is out of the choices. Since the day that Janice broke up with me, I lost interest in love. My world turns into a dull one, I'm just going with the flow, nothing exciting comes on the way. And I learn to live like that for years.

“Please don’t take him away again.” “Sebastian, no...” I saw his lifeless body fall to the ground. I broke down, tears streaming down my face as I pleaded with the universe to give him a second chance. “Please... take me, not him. Not him. I... love him. Take me. I don’t want a life without him in it.” My voice cracked. “Can anyone hear me? What’s the purpose of living... if he’s not part of it?” My eyes became unbelievably heavy to keep open, so I let them fall, leading me into darkness. I had finally lost everything.

I've been holding it all in for years, months, and now, finally, the dam had burst, and I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I was finally allowing myself to feel. My heart ached. It burned. One fucking mistake, and my life has been ruined. How could I let this happen? Why was this happening to me? Would I ever find someone who loved me like she did? Could I ever love someone like I loved her? It was impossible. I wasn't the same man she fell in love with. And she was no longer the same woman who would do anything to make me happy. It was all over.

“We were all terrified… we thought we would lose her, but the world doesn't really want her to die yet. We bring her to the hospital with her wrist bleeding so much that she will still be saved. Even though she tried to die many times, maybe God doesn't just want her to die yet. I just don't understand why the world always wants to hurt her,” Hearing all those stories again shatters me. My Faith experienced those while I was waiting there for her. Every day that I spent living while thinking about her, she was actually dying. Each day is a torture to her and I was not beside her. The worst is, it was all because of me. I shattered the woman I loved the most. I destroyed and ruined her entire

My knees buckled, and I went down, but he caught me before I landed, and when he put his arms around me, I lost it. I kicked and scratched and yelled as my heart broke into a million pieces. "Katarina, what the f*ck?" I beat against his chest and back until my arms gave out. I looked up at him with dead eyes as I felt like the life was draining out of me. I just wanted to die. "How could you, Colton, how could you?" I never thought in this world that I would ever know pain like this, that the man I'd loved and who I thought loved me could ever be the orchestrator of my destruction.

Why do I keep losing the people who genuinely love and cared for me? "I-I'm tired... I'm so tired, Mi..." Tears fell hardmy eyes as if they were already used to it. Of course. I've been crying for how many days? Oh... I don't know. I lost count. "How many more lives must be lost? How many more lives will be taken away from me? How many more of my loved ones must be sacrificed? Why can't I just die?! Why not me, instead?! I'm worthless... I am worthless!"

Instead they trampled over that love and destroyed my heart over and over again. Now he wants to be a part of my life but doesn’t he realize it’s too late? They shattered me to pieces and now I had nothing to give them. I was emptied when it came to them.

Now matter how much I drank, the pain wouldn’t ease. My heart had been shattered into irreparable pieces by a man I’d been in love with since high school—a man I would have killed for, a man I would have laid my life down for. Finn was everything to me. He was like air, and I swore I couldn’t live without him. But now, as the bitter taste of beer coated my tongue, I realized I had already been living without him. I just hadn’t noticed because I was too blinded by love to see the truth.

And I hate it. I hate that this is what my life has become. I hate that in my case loving someone has to mean slowly dying everyday for them. I hate that the love of my life hates me and has moved on and will never love me again because he thinks I’m the worst person in the world, when all I did and all I still do is protect him. I hate that in less than three weeks I’ll have to go back to hell just because I fell in love. I was happy. I loved waking up to that life. I had so much love to give and receive love everyday. And it was all snatched away from me.

It's best for both of us. "Look, Zion. I will be honest with you. You know I always loved Zade and still, I got married to Alec in search of love and happiness. In return, I was betrayed. You know my story. “My life is very complicated. I don't want to make you involved in this mess. Moreover, I don't have feelings for you. I only consider you as my buddy. There will be nothing between us even if we become together. I can't love you back. There is no room for love in my heart. I'm tired. I don't have the guts to fall in love again. I am shattered to pieces. It's beyond repair.”