Hopelessly Hopeful Novels & Stories

I need to be careful not to let those small sweet moments he shows me turn into hope for more. Hope only brings disappointment. Out of all things I’ve learned in my life, this one has been the truest. As a kid, I hoped for a new family when my current one was just another nightmare. I hoped a loving family would adopt me and I would be able to be happy. Those hopes led to nothing. All I got were memories I want to forget. Memories that were brought up again by seeing two people who stared in them for too long. Another thing I had hoped for was that someone would find out what they were doing and never let them near a child again. That clearly never happened and now they took things too far.

"Can I ask you a question? "What are you hoping for?" Josh is taken aback by the question. He's not sure how to answer. He thinks for a moment, and then says, "I'm hoping for a job. I haven't been able to find one for a while now, and I'm starting to feel like there's no hope for me." The woman looks at him with compassion. "There's always hope," she says. "Even when it seems like there isn't." Josh looks at her, unsure of what to say.

I want what’s best for them, and I want them to have full and happy lives, even if that means being far away from me, but I still hope and pray that we’ll find a way to remain close no matter what the future holds. Today felt like another day of endless reading and pointless research. All the hours spent in the packhouse library were wearing me down, and a hopelessness that we’ll never figure this out was beginning to creep in. I’ve always been an optimist, but even an optimist can only take so much bad news and struggle.

I was nearly faint. Could I like … invite myself up to his place? Maybe … ohh … maybe I’ll have to use the bathroom? Fuck … listen to me. Pathetic! Like I’d have a chance with him. Like I should be even remotely thinking about getting involved with him in any way. Just no no no. Very bad idea. Hope is a dangerous thing and I gave it up long ago.

He talks less, works more, spending more time in his study. “ oh you didn’t tell me about it earliar. Did you talk to him?” josh said with his husky voice… I didn’t hold in now. “ well I am not the only one to hide things isn’t it.” Hearing this, he was shocked. He definetly didn’t expect that with me. “ I didn’t hide it. I was gonna tell you. I was waiting for the right moment.” This made me extremely furious. “ there it is. The most used phse of the century. ‘Waiting for the right moment.’ When is the exactly right time? And how can other person decide that for anyone else.” I blabbed it out

In my darkest hour Thoughts of her sear my brain Burning desire all but consumes me Her touch is all that could ease my pain Eyes like pools that I want to drown in The stars above have nothing on her She’s the beauty that I Admire from afar I long to hold her and make her mine But I stop, what is stopping me? I could hold her, she could be mine if she would let me. I take another swig from my beer. Have I gone soft? Fuck! She is messing with my head! When I love people I get hurt or they get hurt. I get up and finish my beer then go back to bed. I still have a couple hours until sunrise. **************************************************************

Along with fear of getting hurt and broken is the hope that maybe the world with its viciousness and cruelness, a little kindness might overthrow it. So, I will love him with all of me. Even if it means ripping myself apart. Be with those people who risked everything yet got nothing but broken promises. You know why? because they hoped too and that's what I'm doing right now - hoping. Dahil kahit na may sakit may saya pa rin. It will not be sadness overall, there will be rainbows and butterflies. Kaya susugal ako.

He said in an exhausted voice. The last thing I wanted was for him to apologize. "Really, don't worry. I'll...manage it out somehow." I said feeling my stomach clenching. I hated being so hopeless. Not knowing anything about my past. It felt so heavy and tiring at the same time. And then there were those flashbacks or pieces, whatever they were. They gave me pathetic hope. False hope. °°°°°°°°°°′°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

I breathed, hope igniting with such intensity that it hurt. Or would that only complicate an already hopelessly tangled situation even further?